Facing rejection through online dating has to be one of the worst feelings in the world.  Especially that dreaded Instant Messaging rejection as you sit there and see the words, “Susie874 has declined to answer your Instant Message at this time.”

Believe me, I know the feeling.  As a former struggling online dater I saw that familiar sentence on 100hookup more times than I would have ever liked to.  Being rejected feels bad enough, but being rejected without ever even having a chance to make your pitch is an even worse feeling.  At least when we get rejected in real life we have a chance to say something or be heard out!

While these feelings can be crippling to your self esteem, the truth is, its not your fault.  Don’t take it personally.  These women are not necessarily rejecting you for reasons that have to do with your looks or personality.  It is more that they get bombarded by more messages than they could ever answer.

I often say, “hall of famers bat 300″ online.  There is so much competition that even the best will often be “rejected” seven out of 10 times.  The important thing is to follow online dating tips that will provide you with the best possible chance to bat .300.   So work on every aspect of your online game that you could think of, and when you are in tip top shape, if that dreaded “decline” comes, have no worries because its probably nothing personal; here are plenty of women around the corner.

Scenario:  You are out and about and decide it’s that time of night to hit on a female.  You approach her feeling good and ready to kick some game.  The opener goes well, you’re having a great conversation and then, out of nowhere, the woman says she has to go.  You are left confused wondering where things went wrong.

This can be an extremely frustrating aspect of picking up women online.  With the hundreds of things that may have occurred during the course of one conversation, it is nearly impossible to pinpoint specifically where things went wrong.

Enter online dating.

 One of the most beautiful aspects of online dating is that you have the ability to go back and save a conversation.  Every single step of your pick up is right in front of you, all typed out.

 This is an amazing gift, allowing you to study every aspect of your pick up and figure out where exactly things went wrong.  It enables you to improve upon your mistakes, fix the kinks in your game, and be more prepared than ever for your next online pick up.

Copy and pasting is your best friend.  Save your conversations and use them to your advantage.

Being in a healthy relationship makes everything in life not only easier, but also better. Last May I began a relationship with a woman that I met on 100hookup, and during most of the time we were together I felt imperious and on top of the world. If I had a problem we talked about it. After a long day we went out and my stresses melted away. I always had someone to go out with on the weekends, and man did we have fun together! She just had a way of bringing out the more social, fun side of my personality that often needs to be coaxed out of hibernation.

Unfortunately, after about three months of intense dating, an insurmountable issue came between us, and we decided the best thing to do was break up before things got more serious. After our split I knew that it was important that I take a little time before getting back onto the dating scene, and decided to wait until I was completely ready to put myself back out there before dating again. However, since that time, even though I have been consistently dating, I’ve gone out on over a dozen first dates with only one yielding a second.

After most of the dates I wasn’t interested in going out again, but there have been a few when I’ve asked for a second date only to be gently turned down. While I can’t say that this reject felt very good it wasn’t anything that was going to deter me from going out and trying to meet women. Although recently I went out on a first date with a woman I met on 100hookup and, in spite of our having a good time, she turned down my request for a second date. Her response was that she had a great time but that she “just didn’t quite feel it,” and therefore didn’t want to go out again.

Through no fault of hers I was honestly very frustrated when she didn’t want to go out again because I felt really good about her and how our first date went. After her rejection, for the first time since last August, I strongly considered taking a break from, not only online dating, but also trying to meet women in general. Ultimately, after talking with a good friend of mine, I decided to give it a little more time, but deep down I know that I really need something positive on the dating front to happen soon or else I’m gong to need to take some time off.

Instant messaging is one of the most advanced forms of online dating.  It requires quick thinking and the ability to sustain high levels of interest amongst great competition.

Most men mistakenly believe that the line you open with is the most important aspect of an instant messaging conversation.  The truth of the matter is, it is actually what comes after the instant message opener that really matters most.

The basic reason for this is that if a woman decides to open your instant message, odds are she will write back at least a courtesy response or hello.  It is after this initial response that it is time to play ball.

The follow-up needs to be something that will ignite immediate interest, build attraction levels and win over your potential date.  Instant messaging is a fast and furious game where women will lose interest if the pick up is not done correctly.

The only way this is done is by learning effective transition techniques and story builders that allow these things to happen naturally during the course of an online pick-up.   Not only should learning how to transition be treated with utmost importance, but a successful online dater learns how to amp up the excitement more and more as each moment passes by.

Think of online pick-ups as an emotional snowball.  We want the emotional highs to get bigger and bigger as we roll that snowball down hill.

This should be done throughout three of the four stages of instant message game, until we finally begin to build higher comfort levels.

I’m out of room for today.  More next time!

One of the most alluring aspects that entices people to try online dating is the shear volume of people that you can meet and, therefore, have the opportunity to go out with, in a short period of time. Online you can talk to more people at the same time than even the most social person would meet in a week of going to the bars every night. This is due to the casual nature of online dating.

There have been times when I have been talking to and trying to make plans with several women at once because I was genuinely interested in meeting and going out with them all. Additionally, you are not going to go out on a first date with everyone that you talk to, therefore it only makes sense that people would play the odds and try to talk to a bunch of people at once, figuring that at least one of those interactions would lead to a date.

Unfortunately, the other side of the coin is that many conversations that are seemingly going well will abruptly end, or first dates that you thought would lead to a second don’t, because the person you went out with decided they had other better options on their plate. This isn’t something that any of us should take personally since it is the nature of the dating game (both on and offline); however, it still can leave you in a kind of dating purgatory in terms of where you stand with people you’re talking with or why your relationship suddenly ended.

That beingsaid, after being active with online dating for several months now, I met a woman recently who chose to buck the usual dating norms and was completely upfront about what her current situation was and where I stood. After emailing a few times several weeks ago, our correspondence abruptly ceased, with each of us doing our own thing. That was until the other night when she instant messaged me.

We ended up having a great conversation and I ended up asking her if she wanted to grab a drink sometime. She responded positively and gave me her number. However, after we chatted for a few more minutes and our conversation began to wind down, she asked if she could be honest with me about something. Her ensuing admission was that she wanted to be upfront that she had been casually seeing someone, but still wanted us to go out and see what happened. Since I assume that everyone I meet online is talking with or seeing other people I wasn’t surprised by the content of her admission, and was genuinely impressed by her honesty, which led me to respond that I wanted to meet her even more as a result.

When my mom first learned about online dating her initial reaction was exceedingly positive. Not only did she find the idea interesting, but soon after discovering how easy and mainstream it was, she began encouraging my sister and me to sign up. Her logic was that you can meet so many more people online, and get to know them in a relaxed way and at your own pace.

She instantly could see the benefits of online dating since she relied on meeting people through friends, at work or in bars. Furthermore, she understands that for many people, her own children included, bars are not the ideal place to interact and develop an initial meaningful connection with someone. The other aspect of online that she appreciated was that it identified people who were single and looking to date with the idea that a serious relationship could develop.

My sister was the first to take my mom’s advice and try online dating, and had varying degrees of success before meeting her current serious boyfriend on 100hookup. After hearing about all of the interesting people she met, and dates she went on, it didn’t take much coaxing for me to dip my toe into the online dating pool. Even though I have been exploring online dating for several months, and have yet to meet Ms. Right, I have still met some fascinating people and had a lot of fun.

Even though online dating is the primary way that I am currently trying to meet women that doesn’t mean that I have abandoned all other methods. Through the perspective that was initially shared with me by my mom I have realized that I am fortunate to have the opportunity to meet people online because it has opened up my dating life and given me another way to meet people that she didn’t have.

I’d like to start off my very first JBlog by saying welcome and thank you for viewing this page.  Since this is my first blog here I thought it would be a good idea to introduce myself, tell you all a little bit about who I am and what my goal with this blog will be.

My name is Joshua Pompey and I am an online dating consultant and enthusiast, as well as author of The REAL Online Game for the REAL Online Dater.  Why am I bringing this book up five seconds into meeting you all?  Don’t worry, this is not a shameless plug and I am not here to fill this great blog with annoying spam.  The reason I mention this is because developing “the real online game” is what I have focused the past 2 years of my life on.  For years I was a struggling online dater that failed to succeed with online dating no matter what I said, wrote, or tried.  Eventually, I figured out how to be highly successful but it was a long process that took me years of learning.  I bring this up because one of the things that I want to accomplish with this blog is help some of the struggling online daters that may not have met that special someone yet and are starting to lose hope.

Online dating is one of the greatest inventions ever.  Are there many better notions than going digital shopping for that perfect person any time you want?  However, at the same time, many of us often run into difficult times when things are not going as well as we hope they would.  There will always be ups and downs.

My goal with this blog will be to pick us up when we are feeling down, as well as celebrate all the good times and great stories that online dating brings.  Providing help and advice will be far from the only aspects of online dating that I will discuss.  I want to create a safe community where we can share ALL aspects of online dating in addition to random things going on in pop culture.  I have no shortage of topics that I would like to discuss, share, and help with.

If you have any suggestions for something you would like to hear about, let me know at any time.  I am here to serve and entertain you!

One of my best friends has been flirting with the idea of joining 100hookup for some time now. Ever since I first joined at the beginning of the summer whenever we hang out he asks me about it and expresses his interest, however, he has been unable to pull the trigger. His procrastination is probably due to the fact that he meets a lot of women, and goes out on dates pretty much every week, so a part of him is probably pretty content with his current dating life.

However, in spite of the volume of women he meets, and number of dates he goes on, I suspect that deep down he knows that 100hookup would be a great resource to him because it would give him the opportunity to meet different types of women that he otherwise would have probably never met. I think that part of the problem that people like my friend run into is that even though they have an active dating life and are meeting a bunch of people every week, they are meeting the same type of person.

For example, if you go to the same bars and hang out with the same people you are going to be limited to a general type of person who enjoys that particular bar and works or hangs out with the people you know. Therefore, while you may not necessarily be limited by the number of people you meet that are potentially datable, you are still keeping yourself from meeting people from other circles. It is a result of this limitation that I believe directly correlates to why my friend’s dates never seem to turn into relationships because ultimately he is just replicating the same dating situation over and over with the same type of girl.

This is why I believe that the online dating community would open up his dating world to women that he would have otherwise never met, since unlike his usual bars, 100hookup is populated by people of all different personalities, backgrounds and ideologies. You see, my friend has inadvertently put himself in a box, like so many of us have during our dating careers.  That’s fine for a time, but whether it be with the people you are meeting in bars, or those you are trying to start conversations with online, sometimes you have to go outside your box and shake things up a little bit, which in the example of my friend, would be joining the online community and having the chance to meet all different types of interesting women.

It doesn’t feel good when someone doesn’t respond to your email, accept your invitation to chat via Instant Messenger, or call you after a first or second date, however, these are inevitable parts of not only the online dating experience but also dating in general. Over time, and through experience, we all might get better at letting these disappointments roll off our backs; however it is human nature to feel a sense of rejection in each of these situations. This feeling is the price we pay for putting ourselves out there, and giving ourselves a chance to meet someone special.

The alternative to this proactive approach is that we sit back and wait for someone to find us and sweep us off our feet, but is that really a likely scenario? Even if a more passive, “wait and see” approach was a viable option, does that really guarantee that we aren’t going to incur any negative feelings from the dating process just because the other person found us and put themselves out there first? With the ball in our court we still stand the chance that our response won’t be perceived well, either via email or on a first date, and that will abruptly end the interaction.

Furthermore, waiting around for people to contact you limits the number of people you meet, and leaves you at the mercy of those who randomly stumble across your profile. This is in stark contrast to someone who puts themselves out there by continuously looking for people that attract their interest, and then attempting to begin a correspondence with them, who in the process might run more of a risk of getting hurt or disappointed. But they also have a much higher chance of meeting a lot of interesting people and having an abundance of new experiences in the process.

Maybe my more proactive approach to dating isn’t the norm.  I know that guys are the ones who are typically supposed to take the lead in these types of situations, but I say regardless of your age, sex or past dating experiences that we all owe it to ourselves to embrace dating as a fun and unique challenge where each experience is different and an opportunity to develop into something great. So please don’t sit back and wait for the perfect situation to fall into your lap when you can take control by going out and finding it for yourself. Sure, along the way there will be some disappointments and agonizing moments, but there will also be ones of pure joy and satisfaction, which in my opinion makes it all worthwhile many times over.

Admittedly, I’m an old fashioned gal.  It took me a while to accept that in today’s age the majority of couples that get together meet ala the Internet.  What happened to kismet?  Can you imagine what our great-grandparents would think…you met your Beshert how?  On the computer?  What is that?  And how do you meet someone?… Fast Forward …not only do couples meet on the Internet but people text each other to set up those dates.  The sport of dating has turned into a practice of efficiency and multi-tasking.  Is the ever present accessibility beneficial or destructive?  And then of course there is even IMing.  I recognize I may be in the minority here but I prefer not to spend my free time in front of the computer and when I log on to 100hookup, I like it to be a quick venture.  Respond to some emails and log off. But inevitably some guys prefer to chat via IM. I prefer to be outside playing and meeting “you” in person… I’m guessing some people find it efficient and effective verses the back and forth of “old fashion emails.”

I know online dating works.  I have met so many people who have met their partners this way. And yes, even including my mom and her current sweetie.  Perhaps this old fashion gal has to give-in to technology, IMing and this modern age of dating.