Author Archive

So 100hookup’s Riviera Cancun trip is around the corner.  Rumor has it the resort is fabulous confirmed by reviews independently on TripAdvisor. It has been several months since I vacationed and boy, am I looking forward to a getaway.  Tennis, sun, ocean, new and old friends, and possibly romance…you never know what can happen with a Cosmo in hand in Riviera Cancun.

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Sounds like a country song…Welcome to NYC.   However, the city pays dividends in energy if you can keep up.  I’m excited as I’m moving and have made an upgrade for more space, more light and more money.  Along with my new hotel-like trendy building comes new people and perhaps new cute neighbors to meet. You just never know who I may meet waiting for the next elevator…

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I recently saw the thought provoking indie movie TiMER.  The premise: would you live your life differently if you knew the ‘exact’ day you’d meet the “One”?  The years, months, days prior, would you go crazy with flings or would you forego dating all-together and focus on other areas of your life because it was all predetermined by the TiMER?  The movie brings up issues of life’s detours and lessons, and arguably perhaps, the journey is what life is all about. Reminiscent of the indie movie Sliding Doors, TiMER provokes whether all our efforts in the dating arena are worthwhile or are the detours for what defines and gives our lives meaning.

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A recent date told me he was a little bummed that I didn’t respond to his offer, not of marriage but a date.  I would have responded had I gotten it… Who knows whose phone cracked under the pressure but, should it matter?  I get we live in an instant, available all the time, communication world…when was the last time you sent your romantic interest an old fashioned card to open??  Not only is texting effortless but also kind-of unromantic.  It puts another layer between 2 people– but I guess it is also efficient, protects egos involved, and makes it easier to decline invitations as well.  It is no longer personal.  I guess my thought is take a chance– put in the effort, call your interest and you’ll know first-hand the situation and you won’t have to rely on technology to “maybe” deliver the message, or have the crackberry crack under pressure.

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Recently 100hookup passed on to me some fan mail. This is significant because my blogger moniker is different than my profile moniker so it is a little hard to locate me (shhh).  Well, I’m flattered.  Who knew MOTs followed the blogs.  I’ve never claimed to be a therapist, a dating expert or the like.  I’m just a thirty-something caught between the Moon and New York City (name that movie/song for $100 bonus) looking for her Lobster (as Ross so eloquently put it on the TV show Friends).

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I have never seen the show Gossip Girl and can’t tell you a thing about the show except apparently the use of the letters XOXO is abundant. Courting can be fun and exciting, but from a recent poll taken over martinis (four), girlfriends agree that unless you are close (i.e. have been dating for some time and intimate), signing a text or email XOXO in the very beginning is just plain cheesy and creepy. Daters Beware.

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I’ve decided to start training again. I must be crazy.  My mom and I are signing up for Disney’s Princess Half Marathon in 2010.  I’m excited to experience this with my mother, who is one of my closest friends.

In all honesty, I ran the Marine Corps Marathon in 2001 and 2003, but the pain was excruciating as I crossed the finished line.  Knowing I had raised money on behalf of the DC Aids Clinic, kept me going and able to go the distance.  I made a commitment and was obligated to try as hard as I could to complete the race.

I realize tons of people run marathons.  But being 5′3 and petite, yet curvy (arguably in the right places) I don’t have a lean runners body.  Running doesn’t come natural or easy.  However, after completing two marathons, I can say when you put your mind to it, anything is possible.

As for dating, unlike some of my friends who were fortunate to do a sprint, I am apparently registered for the marathon. Some challenges, some lessons learned, some heartbreak and some incredible memories I wouldn’t exchange for anything.  I know I will complete this too. The finish line may not look how I imagined it would at age 20, but I am confident I will be smiling nonetheless.

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How many of these coffee interview-like dates have we all been on?  If I just passed my resume across the table (the generic discussion of my education and job history), the date would have taken care of itself.  Then I could speed-dial my mom to fill in the family part.  And boy, would she be excited to be involved in the process.  Mom probably believes she could do a better screening in my romantic life, considering I’m still single.

Rarely do you have one of these coffee dates filled with constant laughter and wit.  Thank you, Mr. Flowerman. You saved me from my eyes being glazed over reciting my resume which I happen to know like the back of my hand.  Two hours of wit and laughter later, it was definitely time well spent.

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After my 400th squat with my trainer, I was burning, and okay, cursing at him too.  But anything good (like buns of steel, training for a triathlon, studying for the Bar) is worth putting in the effort and fighting for. I think the same fight is true when it comes to love & relationships.

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Admittedly, I’m not a social worker, therapist, psychiatrist or the like.  I have no training as such and wouldn’t make any “declaratory” statement regarding addictions.  But the fact that our society is easily grabbing onto the “sex addiction” excuse card trend to try to save marriages is crazy on some level. I think marriage is another ball of wax, especially when kids are involved, so from my vantage point it is much easier to surmise as opposed to being in the scenario.

All I can say for me, is no cheaters need apply. We date, because we enjoy each other. Full Stop.  When that stops being the case we figure out the next step and whether it is worth saving the relationship. Why hold onto something if you desire to cheat?  It just never made sense to me on a basic level.  A relationship is about Trust, once that is compromised, it is very tough to get it back.

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