Archive for August, 2009

The most gratifying part of our jobs here at 100hookup are the thousands of phone calls, emails and letters we receive every year from 100hookup success stories thanking us for connecting them with their beshert. We never tire of hearing stories and testimonies from Jews all over the world about how 100hookup has influenced their lives and, in the process, helped build the hookup community.

Two weeks ago, we had the unique opportunity to turn the tables and thank the “products of 100hookup” for being such loyal alumni, brand ambassadors and prime examples of 100hookup’s success.

Our President and Chief Operating Officer, Greg Liberman, and his wife Jessica hosted an elegant dinner party at Geisha House in Hollywood, inviting several 100hookup success stories of all ages (ranging from 23 to 77) as the honored guests of the evening.  The party kicked off with a toast and, less than halfway into the delicious four course menu, it was as if everyone at the table were old friends. Check out the photos below for highlights of the evening and stay tuned for news of our next success story dinner party in NYC!

Avi & Margarita drove down from San Diego to attend!

The entire group of 100hookup Alumni with Greg and Jessica Liberman

Erika & David are expecting their first JBaby. Mazel tov to the happy couple!

Dear Gems from Jen,

I just got out of a relationship for no reason. My ex of 2.5 months didn’t even call and tell me why he didn’t want to be with me anymore. Do you know why that would be?

 Dear Why Didn’t He Call,

I’m sorry this happened to you. There really is no excuse for this kind of behavior. My guess is you are feeling hurt, confused and left with a sense of unfinished business.  I believe that people do this because they are afraid of the reaction they might receive from the person they no longer want to spend time with. It is a cowardly maneuver and based on fear. There are some people who would rather avoid potential hurt feelings, conflict or anger rather than being candid and truthful.  The truth is, these people in reality are only looking out for themselves and have little empathy for the people they are no longer communicating with.

Look at it this way; do you want to be with someone who does not know how to state his wants, needs or feelings? This person does not know how to communicate in a mature fashion. Consider yourself lucky and move on to someone who is willing to be honest with you. Not everyone, thankfully, engages in this avoidant behavior. There are some great guys on 100hookup who would never use this tactic. With that said, take a look at your profile, spruce it up if need be, and get going meeting some of these men!

 Signed,
 Gems from Jen

Little ditty about Jon and Diana…two hookup-American kids growin’ up in the heartland…oops, wrong story.
Saturday evening I attended the wedding of a dear friend.  Having witnessed several of her close calls over the last five years, it was an absolute joy to witness this obvious perfect union.  The mutual love and admiration was felt by everyone in the room.  Although Jon and Diana both utilized 100hookup for years, they met in person while volunteering. The fact is they would have never met on 100hookup because they didn’t fit each other’s preconceived search criteria.  At 5’5” he is three inches shorter than she and at 39 she is two years older than he.  But when they met, all the criteria fell to the side and within four months they we’re engaged and four months later, married.  Talk about certainty.
Having witnessed several of Diana’s past relationships, I truly feel this imperfect (i.e. didn’t fit their original expectations) match ended up being the most perfect match possible.  Mazel Tov J and D – your love for each other permeates and brings so much joy to your family and friends!!
Lessons learned:
A) Be open to throw away that checklist. You may discover something better than you ever had hoped for.
B) IFFFF you can’t be open-minded, then stick with your checklist. You may (though unlikely) find that made-to-order person.  Relationships are fragile and having an excuse to jump or the stress of an obstacle/checklist to overcome puts unnecessary stress on any relationship.  It is not worth it.  Be truly open or stick with what you feel you need.
C) My friend was committed to finding the “one.”  She made her search a second job. Whether it was timing, the right one, a combo of both, who knows… But she is happier than I have ever seen her.  I’m sure Diana wishes she met Jon three years ago but she wouldn’t have gone through the journey she did making the end reward all that much sweeter for the both of them.
I don’t know much, but I do know both rain and sunshine are necessary for a rainbow. Enjoy the ride, treasures are guaranteed on the other side…or at least a funny looking leprechaun.

My beautiful best friend got engaged last Friday night! She and my soon-to-be-bff-in-law really are completely meant for each other, so this upcoming union will be a great one. Unfortunately, there is at least a year of planning, toiling and inevitable stressing to get through before the big day. I’m sure it will be several months before my bff turns bridezilla and starts stalking the city streets, and even though I will be multi-tasking like it’s going out of style, I plan on enjoying every minute of it. Now, after getting sun-stroked from a post-engagement day by spending six hours at the beach, I headed over to South for 100hookup’s video game bash. The Sunday fun-day action was in full swing by the time I arrived and Wii had a lot of fun as the girls-gone-gaming madness ensued. Now, I am a fitness fiend and workout as much as I can, but my cardio was no match for the tennis tournament going on in the pool room. I will be upping my regiment before the next competition, that’s for sure. All in all it was a great way to end the day, and the crowd was as varied as the choice of post-NES systems. Game, set, sparks! Last night, South was totally where it happens.

Dear GemsfromJen,
I am a 49-year-old single mom and I look much younger than my 49 years. I find myself attracted to men who are a few years younger than me (forget the 30-year-olds, tear…) but I want a solid lifelong partner now. I have an 11-year-old too…which brings me to two dilemmas. There’s no dad in the picture and I want to find a father figure. Also I still believe in “waiting” to have sex…and though I’m not religious, I want to make sure a man will cherish me (and my child) in a committed way before we have sex. In other words, I would feel very used if he didn’t show a commitment, but is it realistic to wait until marriage? Or wait ‘til at least we’re engaged? I am perfectly capable of losing myself in a sexual relationship, but this is something I do not want to give a man until he commits to me. Are there men out there who appreciate and can accept this fully and wholeheartedly?
 
 
Dear Waiting,
 
I cannot speak for men, but I have known a few who have waited. From my own experience with men my best guess is there are few out there, but remember, sex is an important component to a relationship. I completely understand your desire for a man to be fully committed to not just you, but your child before you engage in a sexual relationship.
 
My best suggestion would be to make this aspect of yourself very clear in your 100hookup profile. This way, you will attract men who know exactly what it is you are looking for and you will not have to weed out those who will push a sexual relationship with you before you are ready.
 
Be aware that there are no guarantees in life and although a sexual relationship can wait, it is not an absolute that waiting will ensure a relationship will either succeed or fail.
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen

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Dear Gems from Jen,
 
I’m always asked why I never married or why I am not working and living in a nice area. I am not married as I grew up with epilepsy. I no longer have it, yet still on Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) and doctors say never give it up. I was financially secure, so I had long relationships with men and best friends-just wasn’t able to marry. I have been asked four times, even by a doctor and lawyer; however, I couldn’t drive or have kids.
 
Thanks,
 
Nancy
 
Dear Nancy,
 
It sounds to me like you have a very honest answer to this question. I wonder if you pose the same question to the men whom are asking this of you. Why were they themselves never married? If they were married why are they no longer in that relationship? Everyone has a past and some people have a hard time allowing others to have their past and move forward.  It sounds to me as if you are doing great, so keep your answer.  Be proud of who you are and present yourself in a manner that projects confidence not just about what you represent today and for the future, but what got you to this point in your life. The only thing we have is today.  The past is just that; the past.  Anyone who cannot accept you for being you, as well as your history, isn’t worth your time and/or energy! Keep using 100hookup and I have every confidence that there will be a match just for you!
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen

As I was watching snippets of Shakespeare in the Park, “To Be or Not To Be” perhaps one of the most famous quotations in literature from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet echoed in my mind. In personal relations where a preexisting relationship does not exist, is it better to be completely Direct or Not to be?
Recently I was set-up with an age appropriate, kind, generous, fun, uber wealthy man …so what is the problem you ask??  I didn’t feel chemistry or the necessary physical attraction.  Could that develop??  It is a rarity, but perhaps.  I’ve been told by my relationship mentors (i.e. friends who seemingly have great marriages)…if the date passed the enjoyable/non-offensive threshold, give it a 2nd shot. You just never know.
Nonetheless, it is always an awkward moment when you are directly asked your schedule to plan date #2 and you are not sure you actually want there to be a date #2, yet wouldn’t mind adding the person to your circle of friends.  Do you vaguely mumble, “drop me a line and we will figure it out” or do you directly say at that moment, “I don’t feel the necessary chemistry for date #2.”
I’m a direct person and I am all about information, whatever that information is.  So for me, there is no substitute for being direct.   That said, several of my guy friends, when polled, surprisingly preferred the subtle less direct blow-off.
To Be Direct or Not To Be.. remains the question.

A friend of mine just told me that after dating some dude she met a few weeks ago, they are now official. Guess how she found out? Apparently one morning after signing on to Facebook, she got a request asking her to verify that she and he are in fact, together. After sending out a silent prayer of thanks to Facebook for letting her know what in fact was happening in her life- she accepted the request, and that was that. There was absolutely NO communication on the subject. She just went from zero to relationship at the speed of light. So in an age where dates are scheduled through second hand parties, and texts count as love letters, is it really true that as far as emotions go people have the range of a teaspoon, and the attention span of a goldfish? Apparently so. You’ll be happy to know that said friend is, in fact, happy with the little love triangle between she, he & her 1,305 friends. And I’m fairly sure the cyber lovefest won’t hit its expiration date for at least another four months. I mean- when the most intimate conversations a couple has involve texting, how could it not? As much as I’d love to advise the clueless Cher to redirect herself into the arms of a guy that’s actually mature enough to remember how people communicated prior to the cellular age (and no, it did not involve the pony express,) I’ll have to let this cyber and cellular insanity run it’s course. I guess like Becky Sharp from days of yore, the title is in fact, the most important thing. Apparently this notion has parlayed it’s way into the hearts and minds of savvy cyber users everywhere. If she’s lucky, he might even propose on her wall! I’m sure I’ll get the event request- although the guestlist might be hidden- which will severely hinder my ability to scope out the hot single guys. If we’re really lucky, there might even be a status update! Charming.

Dear Gems from Jen,
Hello, I have enjoyed your site for about a month now. I like the way it is set up and all the wonderful features. One feature tells me how many people have seen my profile. I noticed that 100 men have viewed my profile, yet no takers. I have two pretty photos there and an essay that I put a lot of thought into.
 
I know it only takes one good match, but I was wondering if there is something wrong with my profile. Maybe the problem is that I am a 52 year old separated woman with a 12 year old. I can’t figure out “what’s wrong.” I am open to any advice – Madeline

Dear Madeline,
 
100 men, wow! Do yourself a favor and re-read through your profile. Pictures are only one part of the story. Are you explaining who you are and what you can offer to a potential relationship? Have you captured the true essence of what you are really about? Do you explain what it is you are looking for? Are you too specific? Are you too vague? Your profile advertises who you are and you want to ensure that you represent yourself in the best possible light.
 
As for your status as being separated I can see why that might pose a problem for some men. I would make sure that in your profile you make it very clear that you are moving forward with your divorce and are not looking for a rebound relationship.  Let your profile viewers know that you are serious about finding a potential mate. Having a 12- year-old may not appeal to every man, but you have a child and there are men out there who do not have a problem meeting and dating someone with a child. Your child is your first priority and the two of you are a package deal. Make sure you make this point very clear in your profile.
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen