by GemsFromJen 
under
JBloggers,
100hookup,
Online Dating,
Relationships
Dear Gems from Jen,
I flirted and emailed this 100hookupr. We both put that we would Click! He never has responded to me; however, every once in a while I check out his profile, he reciprocates and checks out my profile. I haven’t changed my picture. Thus, he knows it is me checking out his profile out again. I don’t know if he is looking to see if I have updated my About Me section of my profile. He lives between NYC and Washington DC. Is it that I am geographically undesirable? Why does he continuesto check out my profile even after he hasn’t responded to my Flirt or email.
Dear Between NYC and D.C.,
Good question! I wish I had an answer with an absolute, but I’m afraid I don’t. Obviously there is something intriguing about you or he would not continue to check out your profile even if you believe you could be geographically undesirable.
Have you updated your profile recently? Perhaps he is looking for some newer content. Have you tried emailing or flirting with him again? Maybe you should try this first step once more. You never know, he might like to be pursued. If you are sincerely interested in getting to know more about this particular 100hookupr then it is definitely worth a shot. If he does not respond and continues to check your profile, ignore the glances and move on to the next potential 100hookupr. My opinion: you have nothing to lose by reaching out one last time, and everything to gain.
Signed,
Gems from Jen
by SweetLo under
JBloggers,
Relationships
Labels are complicated. Almost as complicated as stepping up to the plate to order a half-caf non-fat no whipped decaf concoction from your local barista. As soon as you label something, for example, your less-than-low-maintenance relationship, you find yourself and the beau to be on the fast track to turmoil. Why? Your guess, guys and dolls, is as good as mine. It has you switching up your Facebook status from “married” to “it’s complicated” and those following you on Twitter know the ins and outs of the latest cyber spat. I’m sure you know all too well the price you pay for donning designer dreads simply because of the complimenting label, and a rose by any other name would probably be cheaper. So it seems we’re all stuck between a rock and hard place, and the only way out is down. You found the right significant other to “insert witty banter here,” but as soon as you two exchange virtual vows and make it official on some cyber site, you end up tainting the terrific. Suddenly solitary confinement is anything but a sentence – it’s a vacation destination, and you want a one-way ticket. So, advice? Absolutely not ladies, that would be like the blind leading the blind, and the bruises I’d endure don’t match my couture. All I can say is I’m a happier girl when I scout something at the second-hand store, designer label-less, but with significant character. Vintage is the new, and mystery is the new black. So I’d refrain from the form of slavery known as relationship restrictions and keep it simple. Have fun and don’t worry about what to call it.
by GemsFromJen under
Online Dating,
Relationships
I would like to meet a man on 100hookup but do not know whether (and when) to disclose that I am a cancer survivor and that I have had surgery which has left my body deformed and scarred. I feel uncomfortable about being intimate due to my surgically-created physical deformities.
Thank you.
JBO
Dear JBO,
Mazel tov on your recovery! I understand that the scars have left you feeling uncomfortable, but I believe your cancer survival is something to be proud of. It shows your inner strength and your determination!
My suggestion would be to disclose this information when you feel comfortable. Not any sooner. If you would like to disclose this information from the beginning I don’t see anything wrong with it whatsoever. As I said, it demonstrates what an amazing resolve you posses. Your survival and recovery from cancer is not in the least bit shameful. It is part of your life story now and to build relationships that are healthy and carry longevity, honesty is of the utmost importance.
Be honest and candid when the moment feels right for you. But remember, you are a survivor who has a lot to be proud of.
Signed,
Gems from Jen
by SweetLo under
Single Life
Once upon a midnight dreary, those in possession of various area codes left their nine-to-five fabulosity behind and headed to Hollyweird, better known as the belly of the beast. Saturday night’s a veritable playground for those whose appetite is not quite satisfied by continental cuisine, and in pursuit of all things unholy, twenty somethings congregate in carnal couture, consumed with their quest to eat, pray, love. So scandal and its cohort debauchery seep into the city and suddenly L.A. is a feeding ground for the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to be free from weekly restraints, unless said restraints hold the promise of a little pseudo self-indulgence.
My fave nights to prowl around Hollywood with the girls often involve the sheer amusement I get from witnessing the hunt through a cosmopolitan haze. Girls it seems are just as guilty as guys in their sordid methods of getting what they want, even if it’s just a new number to enhance the mundane Monday through Friday scene. The scandalously-clad city of sin becomes this mockumentary from National Geographic and the urban jungle is less forgiving and much more cut-throat than the silly little Sahara scene. Guys lurk by the bar checking out the fresh meat and when the head-to-toe once over officially meets the kissing criteria, they pounce, hoping to go from Jane’s house, to my house, back to his house. It’s a funny thing to watch this guiltiest of pleasures, but those lucky enough to live in the valley of the dolls know it’s eat or be eaten, and girls on the Cali diet are always hungry.
It’s a race to meet Mr. Right, or sometimes – Mr. Right Now, and whether you’re aware or not, the city is swallowing us whole. But hey, something has to keep us on our toes.
You’re Addicted to …
by SWEETADVENTURE8 under
100hookup,
Online Dating
When you think about it, the reason “most” people sign up for online personals services such as 100hookup is that they hope to meet that special someone. Yet, all too often I hear from both men and women, “I had this great date, or so I thought, but then I saw them trolling 100hookup the next day.” What is that about?!?!?It seems counterintuitive from the goal at hand.
I have a few immediate thoughts. Exclusivity does not come overnight nor should it. And yes, it does make it hard, seeing the person you felt a connection with the day after “the best first date imaginable” possibly looking for a BBD “bigger better deal” on the internet. However, that is the nature of how you met, online, so there needs to be some swallowing of pride.
As far as I’m concerned, exclusivity develops in two forms: 1) clearly communicating and agreeing on the expectations understood by both people or 2) a time develops where you just know…you spend most of your time together, you are a couple without having labeled it… You exhibit that behavior as well as operating by the golden rule – “how would I feel if…” The fact is, no matter what, there are some folks who are just addicted to online dating and the options that come along with it. And let me clarify NOTHING is wrong with options if you are honest about your intentions.
by SweetLo under
Date Night
The best part about dating in the L.A. area is the infinite amount of options a guy and gal have on how to spend their evening. Last week, in pursuit of a little something different, my date and I went from drinks at one of the many So Cal secret locales, to an underrated but ever trendy dive in 4.2 seconds flat. The mix and match of the two trendy staycation destinations of the night was a combo that went together almost as well as his hipster taste in music and my onyx-inspired nails.
The thing that threw me into a state of unwarranted shock was his apprehension about mixing it up. When he asked if I was up for a dive (which let’s face it, is just as trendy these days as the newest WeHo happy place) I was totally up for a little lowdown dirty adventure. A good girl never refuses a challenge, and in order to prove that a gal can hack it, even in heels, we embarked on a night that was more than fairly fun as far as first dates are concerned.
So, driving through the city around the midnight witching hour listening to The Kills and looking for our next target was no less an obstacle than navigating the 405 mid-rush hour. These little drinking diamonds-in-the-rough are a fabulous way to let your hair down and see what a girl’s made of. I can’t deny that as much as I love the high-class feel of watching the city from above in some elevated lounge, my rock and roll soul feels just at home in a spot where chucks and a black cami count as couture.
There are those dates where you undoubtedly want to leave as soon as your eyes meet from across Ventura Boulevard, and then there are those really great rendezvous where it’s you, the boy, and the city reeks with renewed fascination. You remember why you keep engaging in the masochistic mingling of these intimidating little one-on-one interviews, and it’s because sometimes when the stars align, and the background music sounds like a Coachella playlist, you actually have fun. Even if it’s in a bar stocked with Costco-style alcoholic accoutrements. “It starts sometime around midnight, or at least that’s when you lose yourself for a minute or two,” blinded by the kitschy neon lights, and the surprising fact that you can have fun engaging in a little one-on-one, in the company of The Kills, and the hills.
by GemsFromJen under
Relationships
Hello,
I have a question about a birthday gift for my boyfriend. We just met last week and he invited me to his birthday next week. I don’t know what to buy. We’ve only gone out two times and I don’t know him that well.
Thank you
Dear Birthday Gift,
I understand how awkward this can feel. You barely know this man and now you are supposed to find him an appropriate gift. Since you have only had two dates with this man my first suggestion would be a gift certificate to a local bookstore, movie theater, or coffeehouse. If you believe that you know his tastes well enough to buy him a specific gift, then I would go ahead and chose something using these guidelines:
What does this man enjoy? What are his hobbies? What type of food does he like? Does he drink wine? Does he like sports? These are some of the questions you might ask yourself and hopefully this will help to trigger some birthday gift ideas. If you know his favorite food/foods, and they include baked goods I would consider baking him something. If he enjoys sports, perhaps a subscription to a sports magazine. If he likes drinking wine a bottle of his favorite vino might be nice.
The point here is that you want to make the gift something personal, but not over the top. Let him now you are paying attention to who he is and what he has shared about himself.
I hope you have a great time at the birthday party!
Signed,
Gems from Jen
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