Archive for April, 2009

Not that…

Every year, various publications come out with their lists of best cities to be single in…undoubtedly NYC always makes the grade.

This week/weekend I’m in DC working and visiting. Having lived in DC for over 12 years, I have a great love and appreciation for the “town.”  DC is a dichotomy of a transient melting pot focused on the political industry and a southern town.  As I was sleeping in my spacious house in the burbs compared to my shoebox off of Central Park, the quiet became a little eerie…with no activity, doorman, bodega around the corner, I contemplated what the best city for singles truly is.

As the eternal romantic, I think you can meet your beshert on a plane.  Since I have no flights scheduled, I’ll put that aside for now.  Despite the complaints I have heard, I’m convinced there is no better place than NYC for no other reason than the number of people you encounter everyday in this walking city.  And without question, there is never enough time to attend all the fun events or try the hottest new restaurant, while meeting your future “who knows”.

Even if some of my girlfriends who have lived in NYC for years are frustrated by the scene, I’m still the eternal optimist and think there is no better city to be single in. I guess I now adopted a New York State of Mind.

Lately, it seems that guys are taking dating to a whole other level, literally. Sky high hotel lounges and rooftop bars have been increasingly trendy among the L.A. crowd looking to rise above the insanity that is the Sunset Strip. Now that the traditional dinner and a movie date has not so regrettably been replaced by schmoozing over martinis, the hunt for that perfect place to sip is on, and the sweetest spot so far seems to be sky high. Downing Manhattans above the city is an ideal way to “go out,” and so far my favorite alternative to clubs like Area or My House, which are filled with 500 of your closest complete strangers. These little slices of heaven are the perfect way to log in a little one-on-one time with whoever you’re meeting on top of the world. While you two are enjoying the crystal clear view of cloud nine, you can take comfort in the fact that it’s only a five second elevator ride back down to earth. So, if the sweet serenade of chaos on Hollywood and Highland just isn’t your idea of nirvana, uplift yourself, your spirits, and your date with a view from the top. Here’s a teeny tiny tip: check out those boutique hotels scattered throughout the city; they have a great vibe and an endless supply of eye candy to go along with your cocktail.

I find it quite frustrating that even though I am a nice hookup girl and I want what every nice hookup girl wants –a nice hookup boy, I am stigmatized because I have a tattoo, a big tattoo. I love my tattoo, and want to get another one. My frustration comes from people not even looking at my profile because of the tattoo on my picture, and it’s not something that I want to hide since it is so big. So, I was wondering if you had any advice for me – related to finding guys who can look past my tattoo or how to handle this topic when I’m just starting to meet someone?

Dear Tattoos,
 
Tattoos are a funny thing in the hookup culture. I once spent an evening with a group of very observant Jews who were all covered, and I mean covered with tattoos. The work that had been done on their bodies was absolutely beautiful, but I kept thinking: they are all hookup and highly observant, how is this possible?
 
I came to the realization that tattoos are very personal and definitely make a statement.  Whether right or wrong, that is up to each person to decide. You stated that you love your tattoo and you want another. Keep your picture exactly the way it is. Your picture represents who you are and the tattoo is a part of yourself. However, a tattoo does not define you as a person.
 
Those people who chose to skip over your profile based on your picture are obviously not looking at all of the qualities you have to offer. There are many hookup people who do not find anything wrong with tattoos. Look at it like this: some people prefer blondes to brunettes, some prefer brown eyes to hazel eyes, some prefer tattoos and some don’t.  Keep your profile active and continue your search for a nice hookup boy.
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen

In the grand tradition of Saturday nights across the country, and in all-American manner, guys and girls let loose and run rampant, hoping to wash the week off of them and stock up on stories for the next.  This past Saturday evening, in keeping with the pattern, we started out with dinner (a lady never drinks on an empty stomach) at a hole-in-the-wall place in the ever great eight-one-eight.  One of the perks of living in this oft-forgot area code is the various diamond in the rough establishments, where a girl can eat like it’s going out of style, simply because the food is that good.  While camping out during the 20 or so minute wait, we inadvertently arrived just in time for a pre-dinner show, aka the makeout sesh of the century.  My bff and I were able to treat ourselves to what looked like could have been late night cinemax status, and it was anything but appetizing.  I have nothing against a little PDA, but if it looks like two sets of lips were accidentally superglued together in some freak scrapbooking accident, you should be sent to the emergency room rather than the pre-dinner reception area. 

Ladies, let me remind you that unlike the socially acceptable NBA & MMA, making out is not a spectator sport!  In fact, it’ll have your unexpected opponents ready to tap out without a second thought.  If the DOA label doesn’t match your Max Azria, go ahead and eighty-six that urge to get it on right then and there.  Otherwise, you’ll be trading class for ass and that’s not a sacrifice I’d willingly make.  I understand being caught up in the moment, believe me, but when in doubt just remember, a moment on the lips can be a lifetime of bad reputation.  So, to keep off the radar and out of twitter updates based on your unforeseen almost four letter faux pas, use the five second maximum rule, and simply save room for an at-home dessert!

As the girls and I were sunbathing in Sheeps Meadow this past weekend in Central Park (with thousands of other folks “you may know” on facebook) a friend relayed a story of a guy who approached her at a party and asked, “Do girls like good or bad boys?” Her well-balanced answer: “Girls like interesting good guys.”
For all the single guys who are looking for a commitment, trust me, good guys do finish first.  Admittedly, in my twenties, my standard response was I’m looking for a guy “with edge.” My mom continuously asked me what this “edge” actually meant?  Looking back, “edge” equated to my lack of knowledge and self awareness of what I needed in a life partner in my twenties.  There comes a time, usually in a lady’s thirties where “edge” is trumped by the desire to find a superhero aka a “good egg.” And, although bad boys may be fun for that Vegas vacation story, they are not usually the keepers.

Like Marvel or DC, I’m convinced Good traditionally trumps Evil and the “good guy” IS the hot commodity.

Harrison Ford’s mother is Russian hookup and his father is Irish Catholic. Ford was born on July 13, 1942, to Dorothy (née Dora Nidelman), a homemaker and former radio actress, and Christopher Ford (born John William Ford), an advertising executive and also a former actor. Harrison’s maternal grandparents, Anna Lifschutz and Harry Nidelman, were hookup immigrants from Minsk, Belarus, which at the time was part of the Russian Empire. So, was Ford raised hookup or Irish Catholic? When asked, Ford jokingly replies, “Democrat.” Regarding his mixed ancestry, Ford has been quoted as saying he’s “Irish as a person, but I feel hookup as an actor.” Although we’re pretty certain that Indiana Jones and Han Solo were not hookup characters, Ford played a bank robber who escorts a Polish rabbi (Gene Wilder) from Philadelphia to San Francisco in the 1979 film, The Frisco Kid.

As I was browsing 100hookup profiles this weekend, I noticed a running theme: “Down to earth.” Huh? What does this mean? Someone, anyone, explain please!

Who doesn’t consider themselves “down to earth?” I began to guess what the possible definition of this statement meant. Good listener, calm, go with the flow, non-type A personality? So many profiles advertised themselves with this phrase or asked that a potential match possess this so-called “down to earth” quality.

It seems so ambiguous to me. Why are people looking for potential life partners not being clear in what qualities they are really looking for? Would I consider myself “down to earth?” Sure, why not. It is so vague that anyone can categorize themselves as “down to earth.” My point is; know what it is that you want and know who you are. If you want a laid back person, who is willing to do anything at a moment’s notice, then use the word “spontaneous.” If you are a good listener, then by all means say that you are. If you are the opposite of a type A personality, let that be known in your profile.

By the way, what is the opposite of down to earth? I’d like to know just that.

After a long day at work, I came home, poured myself a glass of wine, and turned on the television. Somehow I managed to become immersed in a breaking news story concerning lipstick and the economy. The reporter stated that lipstick sales have increased exponentially during this downward trend in the economy. She went on to say that when money is tight; women tend to spend more on lipstick than any other beauty product. Her best guess was that women feel better when they look brighter. This got me thinking, “How does one date to impress in this economy? Does dating have to be expensive? Have we become so accustom to fine dining, valet parking, and upscale lounges that we have forgotten what dating is really about?
 
I know that for myself, the economy has definitely made an impact on my spending habits. I’m going to venture to guess that the economy has affected other people’s dating habits as well. After the breaking news story concerning lipstick, I called one of my girlfriends, who happens to be single, and asked her if she thought that the economy was hindering her dating life. She replied with a great big “YES!” We began to brainstorm less expensive ways to date. Here’s what we came up with:
 
• Picnics
• Visiting local museums
• Hiking, bike-riding, skating
• Sight-seeing at local spots
• Coffee houses
• Community theater performances
• Farmers markets
• Check your city’s website for free or low cost         events

Become creative. Think outside of the box and communicate with your date. There are no rules about what is right or wrong when it comes to what should or should not be part of a date.  Use this downward trend in the economy to get back to basics. Keep in mind that dating isn’t about where you go; it’s about who you go with.

Celebrity sex therapist, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, best known as Dr. Ruth, was a sharpshooter during Israel’s 1948 Independence War. She lived in an orphanage in Switzerland after her parents were captured by the Nazis during World War 2. In 1947, she joined the Haganah (The Defense) in Jerusalem and, even though she stood at a diminutive 4’7”, she was trained to be a sharpshooter. In combat during the 1948 Arab-Israeli War, Dr. Ruth was hit by an exploding shell and was unable to walk for several months. After recovering from her injury, she decided to study psychology at the University of Paris. Our sex lives have been all the better for it.

The weather this Saturday is predicted to be 80 degrees and finally reflecting of Spring – a serious “yippee” for us New Yorkers hibernating in our caves because we feel the winter has been never-ending.  Along with this heat comes the extra bounce in our strides as the crowds fill Central Park, smiles are passed to strangers, outdoor neighborhood fairs pop up, and women are seen sporting shorter skirts and tanned skin.  Hearts are filled with the promise of renewal and possibility of new romances.  There are so many fun things to experience in the city. Will it be sun bathing in Sheep’s Meadow or a walking wine tour?  Still yet to be determined…but either way, anticipate a new bounce in my step.