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May 5

A Classic Case of Denial

by jpompey under Online Dating,Relationships

The other day I received an email from someone asking me for some online dating advice on a profile.   Unfortunately I was not able to help fix it due to contractual obligations with partners of mine.

However, when I offered some of the services that my company provides, the person was quick to insist that the help was not really necessary and that she just needed to take a break.  She went on to claim that she has a great profile and has spent tons of time perfecting this aspect of her dating life.

Before going any further, it wasn’t a money thing.  When we got into deep conversation, all the self defense mechanisms came out through her writing and she clearly wanted to believe she needed no help.

Without sounding too mean and judgmental, the messages that were written, although extremely courteous and nice,  were full of things that would completely turn almost any guy off.  In addition, she asked for help with her profile theninsisted it was actually really good because she had worked so hard on it. She then went on to change her mind saying she just needed a break because she has spent years online dating.

This is what I call a classic case of denial.  This girl was nice, and had plenty of potential to find an amazing guy.  But she clearly needed help, then wrote off the need for this help when it came crunch time to accepting that help.

We all need a little help sometimes. We are too blind to our own faults.  It is only human nature to protect our own self esteem.   Heck, I was online dating for years before I figured things out.  My advice to anyone struggling out there is to never live in denial.  Get the help you need rather than wasting month after month with no success and tons of frustration.

My hope to this day is that this woman does eventually get the help she was originally looking for, because she was truly a sweet girl.

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