Usually, I’m the upbeat fairytale believing, “Sex in the City hookup Ms. Bradshaw.”  BUT, I just read an article posted on Facebook^® that has the hair on my arm standing up and I am shivering (and not in a good way).  The news article highlighted an alleged rapist with known histories in both DC and NY…. The scary part is he approached me on the Upper West Side just a few months ago.  The same young, charming, seemingly intelligent man stopped me on the streets (72nd street to be exact) and engaged me in conversation.  He portrayed himself as a sophisticated international journalist who lived in both DC/NYC and traveled abroad often (think male version of Christiane Amanpour) and proceeded to ask for my contact information and asked if I would be interested in grabbing coffee.  Not to sound totally self-absorbed, but this happens on occasion, and it is flattering but usually of no interest or consequence.  I generally applaud men who make such overtures as it does take guts.  Nonetheless, I routinely respond “I have an (imaginary) boyfriend.”   However, because of this man’s international journalist experience I was intrigued and I gave him my “junk” email address.  In our two email exchanges I found him aggressive and defensive, and I ended all communication and never saw him again.  He put me on his international newsletter distribution list, which I was unable to unsubscribe from after 50 attempts.

I have no idea who he really is or whether he is innocent or guilty.  Fortunately, I only exchanged two emails.  But this obviously serves as a constant reminder that I wanted to share: be very careful and trust your gut.  As my mom would say, “there are crazies out there.”   Unfortunately, this also applies to online dating, not to the exclusion of 100hookup.  Although most of our parents would celebrate us bringing home that nice hookup boy/girl, this does not guarantee quality.  Be smart, be careful, but most of all have fun!

Not that…

Every year, various publications come out with their lists of best cities to be single in…undoubtedly NYC always makes the grade.

This week/weekend I’m in DC working and visiting. Having lived in DC for over 12 years, I have a great love and appreciation for the “town.”  DC is a dichotomy of a transient melting pot focused on the political industry and a southern town.  As I was sleeping in my spacious house in the burbs compared to my shoebox off of Central Park, the quiet became a little eerie…with no activity, doorman, bodega around the corner, I contemplated what the best city for singles truly is.

As the eternal romantic, I think you can meet your beshert on a plane.  Since I have no flights scheduled, I’ll put that aside for now.  Despite the complaints I have heard, I’m convinced there is no better place than NYC for no other reason than the number of people you encounter everyday in this walking city.  And without question, there is never enough time to attend all the fun events or try the hottest new restaurant, while meeting your future “who knows”.

Even if some of my girlfriends who have lived in NYC for years are frustrated by the scene, I’m still the eternal optimist and think there is no better city to be single in. I guess I now adopted a New York State of Mind.

The Watchmen just came out. I read it, and it was truly amazing. I didn’t give comics nearly enough credit, and before you think I was hired by DC to promote the extremely graphic little novel, just understand that the guy, the antihero, my superhero – well he’s right. We’ve entered into an age where superheroes and villains are essentially the same thing, and how do you decipher the good from the bad?

My former fling, once superhero, now villain, is stalking the world wide web, driving me slowly, six feet under. His superpower? His incredible ability? He got me, he made me laugh, and all that other lame stuff that usually had me bolting for the door at zero to sixty in 3.5. It  just seemed to work with us, and of course, there was comfort in consistency. And now it seems his evil villain of a girlfriend is so insanely gorgeous it’s like staring at the sun and being blinded. You know you shouldn’t look, but the tiny evil villain inside us all possesses your soul, and you type his name to see her, size up your competition, (you clearly have no choice, you’re merely doing research) and suddenly cyber-stalking is not only a necessity, it’s a professional sport, leaving no time to avert your eyes.

There she is, lighting up the screen like a faulty nightlight, able to shine all over the damn place in your darkest hour. Their happiness should be quarantined before America catches on to the trendy post-valentine epidemic and we’re all destined to live in the midst of a Lifetime movie. And you have to wonder how he just erased you completely – even though that’s what you undoubtedly tried to do to him. Does that make you the evil one? No, it makes you the sane one.

You’ve both entered into a post break-up marathon and it’s a race to the finish line, to see who can pick up the pieces and regain strength before the other. So the conditioning begins, and the methodology is different for every participant, you either erase them, you forget about them completely, or you continue the conditioning. You go to his page, you acclimate yourself to his new brand of heroine, and you do this until it doesn’t hurt. Until you don’t have to avert your eyes. Until your heart doesn’t stop when his page shows up on screen. And if you’re like most? Like the majority of this oh-so peachy-keen all-American nation? You find a new addiction before the one you’re currently hooked on does you in. And what do you do when you’ve gone through them all? Hopefully I figure that out soon, because time’s running out and The Watchmen are right, “American love, like coke in green glass bottles, they don’t make it anymore.”

I have always been a contradiction even to myself…1/3 impetuous adventurer, free spirit, willing to try “most things” from scuba diving the Great Barrier to skiing Aspen…to living in Japan for several years in my early twenties. 1/3 traditional romantic idealist, who roots for the underdog, believes in karma – that good guys/women finish first, and believes in happy endings. 1/3 responsible, fiercely independent and trying to live up to the expectations of others and most importantly, for what I have set up for myself.

I am a sassy single woman in her mid-thirties who continues to evolve and take risks, not sure where my path may lead but recognizing “change” is generally never a bad thing. As such, after 14 years of a comfortable life in the burbs of D.C., I picked up and moved to NYC to try my hand as a city gal….