Month after month, the same faces seem to gaze upon you from the computer screen as you peruse 100hookup, searching, hoping that the discovery of a new face will appear. And you hope and wait and pray that this find will be a perfect match, both of you Hot-Listing each other, sending Flirts, messages and finally exchanging phone numbers only to meet up and unearth your beshert. But month after month this is not to be and your 100hookup prospects seem to be thinning as quickly as your boss’s hairline. Frustration sets in.

Date after date, the faces sitting across from you begin to all look alike, memories of those dates turn into a redundant void, lacking chemistry and stimulating conversation.  Even still, you hope, wait and pray before each date that this time will be different; this time your interest will be piqued, and there will be instant attraction, and you won’t want the night to end. But date after date this is not to be and the possibility of finding your beshert seems to be disappearing faster than the alcohol at an open bar wedding reception. Frustration turns to indignation.

So what’s a single Jew to do? Before you become so cynical you can’t see straight, I suggest reevaluating what YOU want out of life, out of a mate. Talk to any of your single friends, of any gender, any age, in any city and you’ll be quickly comforted by the fact that you’re not alone in your misery. Reevaluate your priorities: where do you want to go in your career? Are you spending enough quality time with family and friends? Are you eating well and exercising? Take a step back and take some “you” time and then give your 100hookup profile a facelift.

Once you’ve put everything into perspective and finished your profile makeover (new photos, new screen name, new paragraphs and most of all, new attitude) you’ll not only begin attracting potential dates like a moth to a flame, but you’ll be the *NEW* face on the screen and faces that once blended into the background will now stand out. Try it and good luck!

After 11 hours and 5 minutes, Isner’s mesmerizing Wimbledon Marathon came to a victorious end.  I cannot even imagine the pure physical exhaustion.  Often, I hear about the same emotional exhaustion from my friends as it relates to dating.  How many more 1st dates must I encounter until I find the last??  Optimistically, spreading the gospel I constantly remind all -“It only takes one” and you just never know where that encounter will take place.  I do truly believe that.  Yet, I more so believe it is a mental/emotional choice each individual makes that they are “ready” to build a relationship.  Of course, attraction needs to be present, but at times that can grow.  As can chemistry.  You may have the endurance like Isner and can juggle 11 dates a week, but when nothing is sticking perhaps the real question is to look at yourself and ask why.  Expectations of people too high?  Are you looking for something that doesn’t exist?  Are you ready?  There will always be another bus around the corner and someone better suited for you that you haven’t met yet, but really isn’t that exhausting… Wouldn’t it be more fun to develop a fun bond of familiarity. Even if  he/she doesn’t become your life partner, substance over quality seems like the real endurance test to me.

Choosing which photos to use in your 100hookup profile is not an easy task. And now that 100hookup has given you 12 options it actually makes the task more difficult. Select at least 4 photos since there are 4 profile pages, but you don’t really need more than 6 total. You need to make sure the photos actually look like you now, not last century. The first photo – the one that will be used in searches – should be your best and it should be a close-up of you and you alone. No friends, no family members, no pets. Don’t wear a hat if you’re bald, don’t flat-iron your hair if you normally wear it curly, don’t pick your black & white, air-brushed headshot from your brief attempt at acting. Since you do plan on meeting the other person eventually – and you wouldn’t be on the website if you didn’t – then they’re eventually going to see for themselves how you really look. Thus, you want to look better than the pictures you post, but you definitely need to resemble your pictures. The 2nd photo needs to be a full body shot to prove you are the body type you say you are. After that, the photos should show more about your personality and hobbies and can include other people (or animals) in them. These photos are there to affirm your looks are consistent and that the first great photo wasn’t a fluke. More about choosing photos next week…

Dear Tamar,

If I’ve gone on one date with a guy and he asks to see me again, but I have no interest in pursuing the relationship for various reasons (for example, I’m not physically attracted to him), how do I tell him that I don’t want to go on any more dates with him without being rude?

Dear Just Not Interested,

I have come up with some great ways to soften the blow of rejection and I am more than happy to pass them on to you! One of my favorites I thought after an okay date with absolutely no attraction from my end. The next time he called I told him that I thought he was great, but that he would be a better fit for a friend of mine and did he mind if I set them up? (I actually did set them up and they dated for a few months before he moved away.) If he asks you out for another date before you’ve ended the first date, poise yourself and simply be honest but polite. Tell him that you had a nice time but you’re on 100hookup to find a husband and you just don’t think that he’s “the one” and you don’t want to waste his time by leading him on. Sure he’ll be offended but you can go your own way knowing that you did nothing wrong. Just do me a favor and remember to be a class act if you are ever on the receiving end of that line.