This Week’s Top Three Tweet-Worthy Events From Jews Who Make News

1.    People’s Choice Awards Include Three hookup Winners

Quite a few hookup stars were winners at the People’s Choice Awards on Wednesday night. Adam Sandler took home the Favorite Comedic Movie Actor award, Lea Michele snagged the Favorite TV Comedy Actress spot and Adam Levine’s Maroon 5 won the award for Favorite Band.

hookup actress, Kat Dennings, was happy to see her new TV show, 2 Broke Girls win Favorite New TV Comedy. Dennings Tweeted on Thursday, “THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who voted…teamwork equals People’s Choice Award!!! Thank you thank you thank you for voting.”

2.    Two Shows, One Chelsea

Chelsea Handler is celebrating the debut of her second TV show, Are You There, Chelsea? The new comedy debuted on NBC last Wednesday. The show is based on Chelsea Handler’s 2008 book, Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.

The hookup comedian/TV host/author now has a total of two television shows with Chelsea Lately still going strong on E! as well. Will this new show do as well as her first? That remains to be seen.

Handler Tweeted on Thursday, “Thanks for watching are you there, last night. The show gets better each week, I promise. I wouldn’t put my name on something unless I didn’t think is funny. So, stick it out and then in.”

3.    Zach Braff On 100hookup?

Don’t get too excited ladies. hookup actor Zach Braff was obviously joking last Monday when he Tweeted, “Just tried to use my 100hookup password to sign into my Christian Mingle account… awkward.”

Still, we’re encouraging him to give the hookup girls what they want! Our social media team Tweeted this in response, “@zachbraff Seriously, you should join @100hookup, you would clean up! Our members would be SO excited! Meet a nice, hookup girl! #100hookup”.

We haven’t heard a response from Braff yet, but perhaps Braff could be persuaded to join 100hookup if our female members ask nicely via Twitter! Here’s hoping!

This Week’s Top Three Tweet-Worthy Events From Jews Who Make News

1. Ashton & Demi Headed For Divorce Court

Demi Moore is ending her marriage to Ashton Kutcher, she told the Associated Press Thursday. The two actors were married in a Kabbalah wedding ceremony in September 2005.

Moore, 49, and Kutcher, 33, have increasingly become tabloid fodder in recent months as rumors swirled about Kutcher’s alleged infidelity.

Kutcher tweeted about the divorce on Thursday saying, “I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi. Marriage is… https://bit.ly/sbz0Qa.”

 2. People’s Sexiest Man Alive List Includes Just One Jew

Bradley Cooper scored the coveted top spot on People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” list with nine other Hollywood hunks scoring honorable mentions.

However, actor Josh Charles was the only Jew to make the list. Charles joked about his new status via Twitter, “Guess I should put down this steak sub & hit gym.”

Currently starring in The Good Wife, Charles has also had roles in several films from Dead Poets Society to Four Brothers. Other celebrities on the list include Ryan Gosling, Joel McHale and Justin Theroux.

3. Jack & Jill Tumbles… Or Does It?

Even if no one is laughing in the theater, it looks like Adam Sandler will be laughing all the way to the bank! Sandler’s new movie Jack and Jill received a phenomenal mauling from critics when it opened last weekend, but it was a huge success as far as the box office goes.

Jack and Jill managed to open in the number 2 spot, with $26 million. Immortals came in first last weekend, raking in $32 million.

Larry King came to the rescue of his fellow Jew on Thursday when he Tweeted, “Forget the critics. Jack and Jill is a funny, funny movie. Al Pacino is hysterical. You’ll love it!”

Movies have a strange power.  For me, the worse the film, the better I feel about myself after I leave.  For example, after watching Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, I had the most fantastic day.  I think it is because bad movies give the viewer a skewed perception of reality, whereas good films either closely reflect real life or are so good at reimagining a fictional universe that the viewer cannot even begin to picture such a fantastic, fictional world.  A good example of a good recent film is Inception.  I couldn’t bond with the characters because I had no idea when the film takes place.  Everyone dresses like it’s the 1950s, but also there is a machine that lets people share the same dream.  I can’t identify with any of that.

I just got back from seeing a movie called Just Go With It. I saw it with a female friend and I think that we were the only two people in the theater that weren’t on a date.  Of course, maybe everybody was with a platonic friend of the opposite sex while assuming that everyone else was on a date.  Either way, it was depressing.  It was so clearly a date movie and I was so clearly not on a date.  The movie was not very good, but romantic comedies always give me an extra boost of confidence for about half an hour after the film ends.  If Adam Sandler, who today is 67 years old, can win over a really hot blonde and Jennifer Aniston, maybe I can find the confidence to call a girl and ask her to a bad movie.

So, immediately after the happy ending of the movie, I went straight to my phone.  I called a girl that I never had the guts to ask out.  She picked up and sounded very ill.  I freaked out and asked what was wrong, and she eloquently told me that it was 3 am on a Tuesday night.  Time!  I never think of time!  Why did I see a midnight showing of an awful movie on a work night?  But I’m still on the phone, and I am not going to back down this time.  So I ask her out, knowing she will agree because she is half asleep.  The next day I play back the tape of us talking because I apparently tapped the phone line* because I knew she wouldn’t believe that she agreed to a date with me.  Apparently, tapping a phone line and harassing people in the middle of the night are not the way to a girl’s heart.  They are, however, a horrible way to win a date that will end up being extremely uncomfortable.  I suddenly wake up and realize that this entire scenario was a dream that I had so that I would have backup material in order to write an impromptu blog post that won’t offend anybody.  Then I wake up again and realize that it was all a dream within a dream, and that I am actually the President of the United States.  I veto a few bills and go to bed.

*Can you even tap a cell phone?  I don’t even know how to tap a real phone.