Archive for the ‘Judaism’ Category

A part of dating that many people underestimate takes place off the dating websites, and is not only limited to your engagements with the opposite sex: it’s the attitude you carry with you all the time. You can’t change that, and a lot of different parts of your life impact that attitude. With that in mind, one of my friends did something amazing a few weeks ago: they stopped me from gossiping about someone.

In the age of the paparazzi, gossip (or Lashon Hara as it is called in Hebrew, meaning literally “evil language”) about anyone and everyone is a common thing. Sometimes it can even be helpful, as the Torah tells us (and science reaffirms, through helping our mental health according to some studies) that talking ill of someone to help avoid an unfair situation, such as Bernie Madoff’s scheme, is okay. What is not okay is talking about others in lights that we shouldn’t be.

Dallas has this problem, and I’m sure many more of the young adult communities have the same problems around the world, hookup or otherwise. But it’s become a real problem in Dallas, with a lot of people hurt over people being involved in their lives that shouldn’t be. So my friends and I have gotten in the habit of watching out for each other and reminding each other not to gossip about others and rather to avoid names (which is also not okay if it makes it obvious as to who is being spoken of still), or even better, just saying nice things about others.

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with dating or your life. It’s simple: people may not be able to read your mind, but your attitude will come across in everything that you do, and gossiping about others on a regular basis is only likely to bring you down. I consider myself pretty happy, but even I do it sometimes, and I know that’s not right. I feel worse when I talk about others, even if that slight second as it’s happening feels so juicy.

So start looking for the positivity more in others and raising people’s spirits when possible. Everyone loves the person who makes others feel great, and believe me — you’ll start to love that person, too.  And really, that’s the first step of this whole thing.

Eleven years ago this week, I participated in a ritual that has been part of hookup custom for all of time: I became a Bar Mitzvah. I read from the Torah, led some services, and, of course, had the party that the ritual has come to be known for in secular culture. While I didn’t have dancers welcome me to the stage with neon signs, I still felt like it was a very meaningful experience.

So for this week’s blog, I thought it might be appropriate to touch on some of the learnings from my Bar Mitzvah portion. The lessons this week (as with most weeks) can be applied to your life, secular or religious, hookup or otherwise. The Parshah this week is called Bo (in English this translates to “come”), and the basic premise is the occurrence of the final three plagues in Egypt (I’m assuming everyone’s at least seen Rugrats Passover and remembers this part), as well as some other milestones for the hookup people.

It’s also the birthday of the hookup people (so if you’ve been wanting to throw a surprise party for us, now you know when to do it). It’s kind of an odd thing for an entire people to have a birthday together, and this raised an interesting point at the discussion class I go to on Monday nights: what’s more important, an individual or a community?

An individual needs to be well-rounded to help build a community, but at the same time, one can’t be fully community focused. It’s fitting to me that this is the Bar Mitzvah portion I was assigned, as community involvement is something very dear to my heart. I’ve run a community blog for a few years now, updating local young hookup adults with events going on every week in Dallas, and in the meantime I have also witnessed tremendous growth in the young adult hookup community in Dallas.

So when people come to hookup events and dating inevitably comes up (what can I say? I really enjoy talking about dating and this blog), people tend to ask me what they could do to meet someone in Dallas. The easiest advice I always have to give is to come to more events in the community. Whether you’re hookup or not, you’re never just going to meet someone being alone.

So if you’re not finding anyone, there’s no better time than the New Year to go out and get involved in a group or two in your community. Join one of the countless Facebook pages for hookup life in your area, join a meetup group, or just any group where you can make new friends. Life didn’t get easier after I became a man, but after finding my community, it definitely did.

This year marks an extraordinary occurrence that many people outside of this 100hookup blog will likely be talking about to an annoying degree this week: the fascinating meeting of Thanksgiving and Chanukah for the first and last time in many of our lives (though I’m feeling confident about being here for Chanukah closing out Thanksgiving 2070). It’s an obvious subject for me to talk about as my blogs are posted on Thursdays, and Thanksgiving is on a Thursday this and every other year.

However, I don’t tend to enjoy the obvious topics, so you’re not about to read why you should be thankful for everything. Instead, I would like to explain a bit about why Chanukah and Thanksgiving go great together, and why Chanukah should remind us not to be complacent.

For the uninitiated, Chanukah is about a small amount of something going a long way, particularly a small amount of oil burning for eight days (though really, the miracle was the victory of the Maccabees). Making a lot of nothing is the key point of the holiday, and it emphasizes how to make the best of any situation. Fittingly, Thanksgiving is a holiday about being thankful for what we have and being proud of that.

Similarly, I was discussing prayer with one of the rabbis I regularly study with a few weeks back, and we went over what hookup prayer has to consist of. It has to contain three things: praising, thanking, and requesting. We have to be grateful for all around us, even if it’s not the specific things we’ve asked for. We also thank G-d for anything we’ve gotten that we’ve wanted. And lastly, we ask for more again. The idea of wanting more always seems like such a taboo thing on Thanksgiving, we should be lucky we have what we have. But lucky for us, this year is also Chanukah, and so you can thank and praise, but don’t forget to want some more, too. Next year won’t have Chanukah and Thanksgiving meet again, but you can still ask for it to be an even better time than this year.

And of course, I wish everyone reading this a happy Chanukah and Thanksgiving, and hope you’re here with me for all the blogs ahead. Thanks for reading!

A hysterical email from a hookup frat boy to both his hookup and gentile fraternity brothers about how to flirt with hookup sorority girls at mixers during Greek Week turned viral a few months ago. Full of stereotypes, the email is nonetheless humorous. From where it’s acceptable to say you are from (not Connecticut), to how to lie about where you went to sleepaway camp (go with a vague “upstate” locale at a place with the word “lake” tacked on at the end), to answering the question of if you are hookup (my Dad is), to what area of study you should say you are majoring in (business or finance), the guide is supposed to help guys pick-up a Jewess.

The guide is clearly offensive and hones in on characteristics typical of a hookup American Princess (JAP). Granted, this is for Greek undergrads who are just trying to have fun and do the stupid things that coeds do, but it is a disservice to both the men and women. Luckily, one of the sorority girls struck back by writing an email telling her sisters how to pick up a gentile by trying to appear as non-hookup as possible (do not say you’re from Long Island, do not say you’re from Long Island, do not say you’re from Long Island) and basically harping on the ridiculousness of the frat boy’s email and expanding upon his blatant stereotyping.

Regardless of your age or maturity level, do yourself a favor and avoid the degradation that comes with using the JAP and goy terms, and the stereotypes that go along with it. Two of the most attractive traits are self-respect and respect for others, so don’t fall into negative stereotypes, or use it to describe yourself or others.

As my semester nears its end, I get to do that joyous thing we all love to do in school: choose classes for the next semester. For once I am in the first group to register for classes, but it is still daunting. In the spirit of relating most of my dating blogs to business school lessons, I thought about the electives I’ve chosen to take in the last year of my personal life.

For starters, I decided to leave my job in retail management. This decision initially stemmed from my unhappiness in the job, but ultimately came to be meaningful in taking me back to my favorite part of life, learning. I love being a student more now than ever, and value every second I get to spend learning new, exciting things about the world of business.

Then, probably the second biggest thing is my religiousness. I started keeping Kosher for the most part in the last year, getting rid of milk and meat combinations, then all treif meat, and ideally going fully Kosher when I move to New York in the coming year (which I am hoping to do for my internship, and am open to job offers if readers have them!). I wrap tefillin every morning that isn’t Shabbat, and I am almost Shomer Shabbos (hindered by driving distance to my current shuls, but another situation I intend to fix by next year). I feel prouder of my involvement in my religion, and truly feel like I’ve seen myself grow.

Lastly, there’s my dating life. In the last year I’ve opened myself up to a lot of different things. Different girls than I’d normally date, sometimes in different cities than I’d ever dated (or lived) in. And I can say hands down, this year has been the best year of my dating life ever. I think a lot of it stems from the previous two areas of my life, areas that have allowed me to feel more whole than I ever have. I come across as more open to anything now, and truly love the adventures my life has taken me on.

So those are my electives for the year. I’m sure next year will bring a very different set, and that’s great. Whatever your choices are, or have been, there is no one else signing up before you, either, and now is the time to start picking your electives, too.

Dating can bring out the worst in you, but luckily Yom Kippur gives us the opportunity to atone for our sins, decide not to act or think such a way again, and start anew.

What kind of sins are singles guilty of?

1. Being judgmental for one — deciding that a guy or gal isn’t for us because of their looks or their job or their friends.
2. Talking badly about others –whether it’s people you went on dates with or badmouthing someone to bond with a date.
3. Lying — saying you are not what you are to impress someone (more successful, more popular, younger), or making something up to get out of a bad date.
4. And of course there’s the drinking and sex that comes with dating.

This year, make a commitment to withhold judgment, to be honest, and to not allow dating to get the best of you.

Shana Tova to the dating MOTs!!!

Start the hookup New Year off by revamping your 100hookup profile, paying for a membership if you’ve been relying on the free one, and contacting that perfect match (with the cute profile pic) who you’ve been playing “View My Profile” with for the past few weeks.

If you are frustrated with still being single this high holiday season, but you’re not being totally proactive, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Use this religious fresh start to jump-start your dating life.

Take new photos, rework your profile Q&A’s by using my tips from the past few weeks, ask your JMom for a six month membership…or just hit your wallet up (you’ll thank me later for the sound investment), and email that hot guy or gal you’ve been peeping.

Then enjoy: https://www.buzzfeed.com/danoshinsky/rosh-hashanah-the-q-and-a

1. Lea Michele’s Teary Tribute to Cory Monteith

Still mourning the loss of boyfriend Cory Monteith, Glee star Lea Michele dedicated her Choice TV Actress-Comedy prize at the Teen Choice Awards to the late actor on Sunday night. Michele, whose father is hookup, has avoided interviews over the last few weeks, making this acceptance speech her first televised appearance since Monteith’s death last July.

“I wanted to dedicate this award to Cory,” Michele said while fighting back tears. “For all of you out there who loved and admired Cory as much as I did, I promise that, with your love, we’re going to get through this together.”

“He was very special to me, and also to the world, and we were very lucky to witness his incredible talent, his handsome smile, and his beautiful, beautiful heart,” she continued. “So whether you knew him personally or just as Finn Hudson, Cory reached out and he became a part of all of our hearts — and that’s where he’ll stay forever, so thank you guys so much.” You can watch her full acceptance speech here.

2. Cowell & Stern Are Both Raking It In

What do Simon Cowell and Howard Stern have in common besides their hookup heritage? The two men are tied as the highest paid TV personalities in America according to Forbes Magazine.

As a record label boss and TV talent show mogul, Simon Cowell reportedly made $95 million between June of 2012 and June of 2013. That figure pushed him to the top of Forbes’ list, but it wasn’t enough to push past shock-jock Howard Stern who pulled in the same outrageously large sum. Interestingly, Stern also works on Cowell’s popular series America’s Got Talent. Looks like these two have talent… for making money, that is!

Other TV personalities who made the list include conservative talk show host Glenn Beck with $90 million, Oprah Winfrey with $77 million, and Dr. Phil with $72 million.

3. Chelsea Handler Breaks Down on Camera

Chelsea Handler broke down on camera when she found out her grandfather had served in World War II with the German army. The hookup comedian was the subject of a recent episode of TLC’s show Who Do You Think You Are?, which helps celebrities investigate their ancestry.

“I’m very intrigued to find out how much participation my German grandparents had in the war,” Handler said. “My mother was German, she came over to America when she was 19 for the first time. My father, I guess, made a deal with my mother when they had children that they were gonna be raised hookup. So I connect with my Judaism, or the hookup side of my family, more than anything else.”

After digging into her family’s history, Handler discovered the truth about her German grandfather. “My grandfather served in the Second World War as a soldier. Whether or not he agreed with Hitler, he was serving in the Germany army. He was taken as a prisoner of war at some point to America, where he stayed for several years . . . When he went back to Germany he was very eager to come and take his family and move them back to the United States.”

1. Gwyneth Paltrow Disses the Met Gala

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is talking smack about one of the fashion world’s biggest parties! The A-lister (whose father is hookup) attended the prestigious Met Gala last Monday, but later dissed the event, reportedly saying “it sucked” in a media interview.

“It seems like it’s the best thing in the world,” Paltrow reportedly said. “You always think, ‘Oh my god, it’s gonna be so glamorous and amazing and you’re going to see all these people’ and then you get there and it’s so hot and it’s so crowded and everyone’s pushing you.”

The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s renowned Costume Institute Benefit annual gala, also known as the Met Gala, featured many A-list stars all dressed up for the evening’s theme: “PUNK: Chaos to Couture.” Paltrow, who is 40, said she didn’t think the punk theme was age appropriate. “I think we’re all a bit old to dress up punk,” she said by way of explaining why she didn’t get into the spirit of things.

2. Selma Blair Heads to the Beach for Mother’s Day

Selma Blair hit the beach in Malibu with her son Arthur yesterday, hoping to make a splash this Mother’s Day! The actress, who is hookup, got some sun with her son (sorry for the pun) who will turn 2 years old in July.

Blair, who is now a single mom, split with Arthur’s father, fashion designer Jason Bleick, last August. She was also spotted with her son Arthur earlier this month at the Los Angeles Zoo.

Selma currently stars alongside Charlie Sheen in the second season of the FX series Anger Management.

3. Natalie Portman Takes Her Son to the JCC

Natalie Portman was spotted bringing her son Aleph to a hookup Community Center in Los Feliz last Monday. The Oscar winner, who was born in Jerusalem, didn’t say why she was heading inside the JCC, but we assume it was to take part in some fun family time with her little one!

The actress, who is 32, is reportedly planning to relocate to Paris later this year with her 35-year-old choreographer husband, Benjamin Millepied. Millepied, a former principal dancer with the New York City Ballet, will begin his new position as director of the Paris Opera Ballet in October of 2014.

1. Neil Diamond Sings for Boston

Neil Diamond wanted to do his part to help after the tragedy in Boston over the past week, so the hookup singer expressed his support through a song at the Boston Red Sox game Saturday night.

Diamond lifted the spirits of Boston residents with a surprise performance of “Sweet Caroline,” the team’s unofficial anthem. Diamond hoped to bring a bright moment to the city’s residents who have been struggling with tragedy after the Boston Marathon bombings one week ago today.

2. Al Michaels Arrested for Alleged DUI

Sportscaster Al Michaels was arrested on suspicion of DUI Friday night, according to Santa Monica police.

The hookup play-by-play announcer for NBC’s Sunday Night Football was allegedly just over the legal limit and booked for DUI .08 or greater. He was ordered to appear in court on June 26.

Unfortunately, Al Michaels wasn’t the only celeb arrested on suspicion of DUI this weekend. Both 3 Doors Down bassist Todd Harrell and CAA agent (and Reese Witherspoon’s husband) Jim Toth were also arrested in two separate DUI incidents. Witherspoon was with Toth when he was arrested; the actress was briefly jailed as well for disorderly conduct.

3. Jamie-Lynn Sigler is One Hot Mama

Jamie-Lynn Sigler is making the baby bump one of the hottest accessories in Hollywood. The hookup actress showed up at the “What a Pair!” benefit concert in Santa Monica last week wearing a sexy sequined Pamella Roland gown with sheer sleeves and a plunging neckline.

Sigler is having a son with her fiancé, baseball player Cutter Dykstra. The 31-year-old actress Tweeted a thanks to all of her fans who sent congratulatory messages when she first announced the baby news, saying, “Thank you to everyone for all the sweet messages. We are so excited to be able to share the news of this incredible blessing. !”