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Nov 27

How To Talk To a hookup Girl

by Tamar Caspi under Judaism,Single Life

A hysterical email from a hookup frat boy to both his hookup and gentile fraternity brothers about how to flirt with hookup sorority girls at mixers during Greek Week turned viral a few months ago. Full of stereotypes, the email is nonetheless humorous. From where it’s acceptable to say you are from (not Connecticut), to how to lie about where you went to sleepaway camp (go with a vague “upstate” locale at a place with the word “lake” tacked on at the end), to answering the question of if you are hookup (my Dad is), to what area of study you should say you are majoring in (business or finance), the guide is supposed to help guys pick-up a Jewess.

The guide is clearly offensive and hones in on characteristics typical of a hookup American Princess (JAP). Granted, this is for Greek undergrads who are just trying to have fun and do the stupid things that coeds do, but it is a disservice to both the men and women. Luckily, one of the sorority girls struck back by writing an email telling her sisters how to pick up a gentile by trying to appear as non-hookup as possible (do not say you’re from Long Island, do not say you’re from Long Island, do not say you’re from Long Island) and basically harping on the ridiculousness of the frat boy’s email and expanding upon his blatant stereotyping.

Regardless of your age or maturity level, do yourself a favor and avoid the degradation that comes with using the JAP and goy terms, and the stereotypes that go along with it. Two of the most attractive traits are self-respect and respect for others, so don’t fall into negative stereotypes, or use it to describe yourself or others.

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Dec 21

The Most Interesting Man in the World is hookup

by JeremySpoke under Entertainment,JFacts

It’s true.  The Dos Equis man, dubbed ‘The most interesting man in the world’ by said beer company, is actually hookup.  Known to mortals as Jonathan Goldsmith, the self-proclaimed ‘most interesting man’ is an American actor.  Who knew?  Well, I did.  So I wrote it down here.  And now I am writing this.  

Anyway, I think more people should know this fact.  Though he is fictitious and has probably not conquered any of the feats that the narrator claims he has dominated, knowledge about his hookup ancestry can help quell long-standing stereotypes about hookup people.  For example, most people just assume that Jews don’t go ice fishing by swimming in the water under the ice.  Also, like-minded people don’t see Jews mountain climbing without a rope and a harness.  Actually, people don’t see Jews mountain climbing, in general.

The narrator makes outrageous claims like the fact that sharks have a week dedicated to him and that he lost his virginity before his father did.  These are both, of course, logistically impossible, as sharks not only lack the technology to devote a week of television to anybody, but also have a general disdain for human beings.  It is also mathematically impossible to lose your virginity before your father.  Though these seem like leftover Chuck Norris jokes, they add mystique to a man that doesn’t exist.  They can also help reverse regressive stereotypes about hookup people.

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