Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

This Week’s Top Three Tweet-Worthy Events From Jews Who Make News

1.    Jon Stewart Wants Fox News to Stay Out of His Turkey Dinner

Jon Stewart, host of the The Daily Show, cooked up a fight with Fox News regarding the cable channel’s criticism of President Obama for not mentioning God in a Thanksgiving message on YouTube.

According to The Wrap, Stewart said, “This is about turning Thanksgiving into yet another one of those Christian persecution culture war type things. And let me just say: Don’t you do it. Don’t you do it to Thanksgiving. I’ll give you the war on Christmas. We are trying to f—- that up. I’ll give that up. But this is all Reform Jews have left. … Name another holiday where you can get drunk around your kids by 2 p.m.”

Check out this Thanksgiving tiff for yourself at The Daily Show’s Twitter page where a staffer tweeted, “@FoxNews pundits report that they thanked God on Thanksgiving. https://on.cc.com/u2QAb6 #dailyshow #MomentofZen.”

2.    And The GRAMMY® Goes To…

Adam Levine’s Maroon 5 was nominated for a GRAMMY for Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals on Wednesday. ‘Moves Like Jagger,’ a duet with Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera, was included on the band’s third album, Hands All Over.

“Nominated for a grammy!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!” Levine, whose father is hookup, Tweeted on Wednesday. Maroon 5 has won eight GRAMMYs since 2005, including five for Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals.

We’ll find out if Maroon 5 will win this award for a sixth time when the GRAMMYs are held on February 12, 2012.

3.    Jason Segel Becomes A Puppet Master

hookup actor and writer, Jason Segel, can now add puppet master to his resume! Segel co-wrote and starred in “The Muppets,” a movie about reuniting the Muppets to save their old theater from a greedy oil tycoon.

The movie resonated with audiences over the Thanksgiving holiday, premiering to a solid $29.2 million last weekend. It also received a superb “A” rating from CinemaScore moviegoers.

Segel, a longtime fan of The Muppets, Tweeted “If you love the Muppets and want them back please go see it this weekend and show your Muppet love. I have never been more proud of a film!”

This Week’s Top Three Tweet-Worthy Events From Jews Who Make News

1. Ashton & Demi Headed For Divorce Court

Demi Moore is ending her marriage to Ashton Kutcher, she told the Associated Press Thursday. The two actors were married in a Kabbalah wedding ceremony in September 2005.

Moore, 49, and Kutcher, 33, have increasingly become tabloid fodder in recent months as rumors swirled about Kutcher’s alleged infidelity.

Kutcher tweeted about the divorce on Thursday saying, “I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi. Marriage is… https://bit.ly/sbz0Qa.”

 2. People’s Sexiest Man Alive List Includes Just One Jew

Bradley Cooper scored the coveted top spot on People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” list with nine other Hollywood hunks scoring honorable mentions.

However, actor Josh Charles was the only Jew to make the list. Charles joked about his new status via Twitter, “Guess I should put down this steak sub & hit gym.”

Currently starring in The Good Wife, Charles has also had roles in several films from Dead Poets Society to Four Brothers. Other celebrities on the list include Ryan Gosling, Joel McHale and Justin Theroux.

3. Jack & Jill Tumbles… Or Does It?

Even if no one is laughing in the theater, it looks like Adam Sandler will be laughing all the way to the bank! Sandler’s new movie Jack and Jill received a phenomenal mauling from critics when it opened last weekend, but it was a huge success as far as the box office goes.

Jack and Jill managed to open in the number 2 spot, with $26 million. Immortals came in first last weekend, raking in $32 million.

Larry King came to the rescue of his fellow Jew on Thursday when he Tweeted, “Forget the critics. Jack and Jill is a funny, funny movie. Al Pacino is hysterical. You’ll love it!”

This Week’s Top Three Tweet-Worthy Events From Jews Who Make News

1. Ashton Kutcher Banished To The Twitter Sidelines

Ashton Kutcher fumbled his Twitter account Wednesday night. The actor/Kabbalah follower/top Tweeter temporarily asked his management team to take over his Twitter account after a tweet about the firing of Penn State coach Joe Paterno caused major backlash.

“How do you fire Jo Pa?” Kutcher tweeted Wednesday night in a message that has since been deleted from his feed. “#insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste.”

The response from Kutcher’s eight million followers was unrelenting. Twitter users criticized the star for not being aware of the finer details surrounding the Penn State abuse scandal.

 
2. Billy Crystal To Host Oscars

Billy Crystal tweeted Thursday, “Am doing the Oscars so the young woman in the pharmacy will stop asking my name when I pick up my prescriptions. Looking forward to the show.”

The comedian will replace Eddie Murphy as the host of the 2012 Oscars. Murphy had been chosen as host, but the comedian stepped down after his friend Brett Ratner resigned as the show’s producer. Ratner was criticized for using a gay slur in an interview.

This will be Crystal’s ninth year hosting the Oscars.

 
3. Howard Stern’s Got Talent

Howard Stern is in talks to become a judge on America’s Got Talent. According to The Wall Street Journal, the controversial radio host is in talks to replace Piers Morgan on the popular talent show.

Morgan announced on Twitter that he was leaving the show saying, “Big thanks to NBC, Fremantle, and of course, my friend Simon Cowell, for giving me such a great opportunity. It’s been a blast.”

If Stern agrees to join America’s Got Talent, he will serve as a judge alongside Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel.

I called this post, Desperation Days, because that phrase popped into my head.  Now I have to write an entire thing that fits that description.  It reminds me of a chapter of a memoir of a man in his 60s looking back to his pre-teen years with disdain.  It also sounds like a movie starring Nicolas Cage and Michelle Rodriguez.  It could also somehow be a nostalgic Cameron Crowe movie starring Elijah Wood.  One of those movies has to happen now. I will probably see neither.

Everyone feels desperate at some point in their lives.  I just said that because that’s a thing people generally say, but there’s no way that it’s true for everybody.  Some people don’t have to deal with desperation.  People like Michelle Rodriguez and Elijah Wood have been famous since they were pretty young.  They are also good-looking (not counting the Lord of the Rings trilogy).  As an aside, aside from the fact that this whole post is an aside, I have never seen a Michelle Rodriguez movie that was good.  Yes, that includes Avatar and Drive Angry 3D.  In Avatar, one of her lines was literally “I didn’t sign up for this sh*t.” because that is not the most cliché line of dialogue in every movie ever.  I also dislike her because her character on LOST was not very likable, and because they killed her off because the LOST team couldn’t deal with her anymore.  When you’ve lost LOST, Drive Angry 3D is really the best you can do thereafter.

In relation to being hookup and dating hookup people, I’ve got nothing.  None of this has anything to do with either of those topics, but I hope it is a nice diversion from the pain and suffering of dating.  If you are depressed, rent Avatar and you will realize that, though you are sad, at least you are not Jake Sully.

Recently, two former 100hookuprs came to us with two separate requests asking for help in creating two distinct marriage proposals for their two respective girlfriends (whom both met on 100hookup). Talk about a one-two (proposal) punch!

Of course we jumped at the opportunity to help each of these lovesick lads, but working with two different men meant we needed to make each proposal as unique, unexpected and unforgettable as possible. It was a challenge we gladly accepted!

For the first, we utilized our Times Square digital billboard as Bachelor Number One (AKA Dan) popped the question in the midst of Times Square with thousands of people watching. For the second, we pulled off a bit of Hollywood magic to help Bachelor Number Two (AKA Howard) make his unsuspecting girlfriend believe she was being interviewed for a 100hookup success story testimonial shoot.

Both women were completely surprised by these two magical marriage proposals, but did they say, “yes”? You’ll just have to watch to find out!

Watch The Ultimate NYC Proposal

Go Behind The Scenes Of A Real LA Love Story

It’s been two days since the apocalypse. Judgment day has passed. Sinners have been punished, and the righteous were flown to heaven on angel wings. My most awkward moment from a life filled with uncomfortable silences and even more uncomfortable silences was pretty anti-climactic. Long story longer, a girl from 100hookup who stopped talking to me when I was fat and started talking to me again after I lost some weight, happened to be running a wedding of two very good friends of mine. Before the wedding, we went on a date that didn’t go too well. Afterwards, I told her I’d let her know when I lost some weight.

So she was at the wedding, but we were friendly-ish and successfully avoided each other for most of the night. One minute I’msitting at my table with my best friends, the next minute I’m lying in my bed, wearing a suit with a t-shirt over it, with two pairs of boxers on. Also, most of the items in my room are completely trashed. Since I couldn’t remember the end of the night, I asked my bestie what happened. She answered that I should get tested for an STD. After that, she said nothing. If you only remember two things before you die, one should be the knowledge that you should never tell an OCD patient that he should be tested for sexually transmitted diseases and then not tell him anything about what happened. She wouldn’t answer me when my OCD-induced panic kicked in, and I hurriedly tried to reach anybody else that went to the wedding.

I woke up the next morning at 5:30 am after a night filled with dreams about dying covered withback sweat. I went to work, but all I could think about was whatever horrible disease I had contracted during a night I didn’t remember. My friend finally called me and told me that she was just kidding. Hilarious.

Every time I discuss meeting girls online for first or second dates I always discuss the importance of doing something fun.

As many of you know by now, I always encourage a first date to be fun, unique, and entertaining.  On top of this, to fit in games whenever possible.

Women not only love games, but they provide a nice opportunity to flirt.

For this reason I suggest investing in a Nintendo® Wii or an Xbox® Kinect.  To this day I have never met a women who does not smile every time you bring these gaming systems up. 

You will not only have fun with your date, but they also provide you with a great excuse to invite your date upstairs to “hang out” for a little bit longer.  For most men, inviting a date upstairs can be awkward.  It is strange bringing a date inside, only to have nothing to do.

Having one of these systems gives you a reason every time.

Going out and meeting people on your own is so easy.  Everything is handed to you and women approach and engage in conversation with you because you are so great and know how to rub cologne onto your neck.

Nightclubs are therefore the perfect environment for this series of events to occur.  First, they are notoriously quiet.  It is often compared to a library, but instead of books for free, you get alcohol for your life savings.  There is no awful music pounding through the walls until you feel that the blood running through your veins is going to explode into an orgy of flesh, bones, and organs.  Just walk up to any girl and start talking in a soft voice.  Not only will she find this endearing and not creepy in any way, she will probably hand you a pre-written seven-digit code on a napkin.  Be sure to either memorize this code or write it down as soon as possible.  It is the only way that you can ever get access to any woman outside of the quaint, homely nightclub.

Nightclubs are also known for being free from the hectic, overpopulated lifestyle of urban America.  They are uncrowded, providing free movement for everybody inside.  People walk about and care for one another’s personal space without simultaneously making their bodies pulsate in a non-repetitive fashion.  People are self-conscious about how stupid they might look if they started dancing like idiots, and often become very self-aware. Feel free to walk up to other men and spill your soul.  Tell them how pretty their female companions are.  Walk up to them and ask them if they feel as horrible as they look with their pink shirts tucked into their shorts.

Or do none of these things and not die.

Movies have a strange power.  For me, the worse the film, the better I feel about myself after I leave.  For example, after watching Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, I had the most fantastic day.  I think it is because bad movies give the viewer a skewed perception of reality, whereas good films either closely reflect real life or are so good at reimagining a fictional universe that the viewer cannot even begin to picture such a fantastic, fictional world.  A good example of a good recent film is Inception.  I couldn’t bond with the characters because I had no idea when the film takes place.  Everyone dresses like it’s the 1950s, but also there is a machine that lets people share the same dream.  I can’t identify with any of that.

I just got back from seeing a movie called Just Go With It. I saw it with a female friend and I think that we were the only two people in the theater that weren’t on a date.  Of course, maybe everybody was with a platonic friend of the opposite sex while assuming that everyone else was on a date.  Either way, it was depressing.  It was so clearly a date movie and I was so clearly not on a date.  The movie was not very good, but romantic comedies always give me an extra boost of confidence for about half an hour after the film ends.  If Adam Sandler, who today is 67 years old, can win over a really hot blonde and Jennifer Aniston, maybe I can find the confidence to call a girl and ask her to a bad movie.

So, immediately after the happy ending of the movie, I went straight to my phone.  I called a girl that I never had the guts to ask out.  She picked up and sounded very ill.  I freaked out and asked what was wrong, and she eloquently told me that it was 3 am on a Tuesday night.  Time!  I never think of time!  Why did I see a midnight showing of an awful movie on a work night?  But I’m still on the phone, and I am not going to back down this time.  So I ask her out, knowing she will agree because she is half asleep.  The next day I play back the tape of us talking because I apparently tapped the phone line* because I knew she wouldn’t believe that she agreed to a date with me.  Apparently, tapping a phone line and harassing people in the middle of the night are not the way to a girl’s heart.  They are, however, a horrible way to win a date that will end up being extremely uncomfortable.  I suddenly wake up and realize that this entire scenario was a dream that I had so that I would have backup material in order to write an impromptu blog post that won’t offend anybody.  Then I wake up again and realize that it was all a dream within a dream, and that I am actually the President of the United States.  I veto a few bills and go to bed.

*Can you even tap a cell phone?  I don’t even know how to tap a real phone.

There’s a scene in the film, The Bourne Identity, where the love interest, Marie, asks the title character what kind of music he likes.  Despite the fact that he is a thirty-million dollar weapon trained by the US government currently dealing with amnesia, we can all connect with him having had that question thrown at us.  Everyone hates hearing that question.  It unearths all of our personal insecurities about our taste in something that can often be very personal.  Also, it is always embarrassing if you like country music or rap.  Everybody always has the same answer: “I like everything.”  Everybody is lying.  Jason Bourne’s answer, however, is genius.  Instead of using a blanket statement based on lies, he says, “I don’t know.”  Marie obviously thinks that this answer is lame but, in all honesty, he really doesn’t know.  Again, he has amnesia, and can’t remember anything before two weeks ago.

I wish I was an amnesiac.  I would have much better excuses for so many things in life.  Why are you not buckled? Why haven’t you seen The Princess Bride?  Why are you running out of that store with stacks of cash?  I know there’s technically not a rule about wearing pants to work, but why?

Anyway, I think the question, “What kind of music do you like?” should be struck from the lexicon of American conversation.  People hate having it directed at them.  The person asking the question is clearly out of things to say.  Why make the situation even more awkward and tense?  Let’s let people like whatever music they want and if they feel like they want to share this personal bit of information, let them tell you first.