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Ahh dating…like on the back of a White Sox game ticket, fans assume the inherent risk that they may just get smashed by a flying ball. As with relationships, statistics reflect most don’t work except the “one”, so when engaging, do you tread lightly or dive in, be vulnerable and accept the risk you may get smashed? One may suggest there is no other way.. knowing the upside, that initial euphoric feeling that eventually turns into a deeper steady connection that still is so great by its own simplicity.  And well, for the downside, if you have had your heart crushed (and in my opinion everyone should at least once), you know what it is like to be completely vulnerable and that is both a scary and truly amazing feeling.  To know you can actually have and own those feelings. And once you’ve been there, you recognize though it may be difficult to recover, it is truly a gift that you were ever able to “feel” those feelings in the first place.

Here’s hoping that Professor Turley’s Torts 101 class rubs off, you assume the risk and go for it!

Recently a fun evening at Tao had my girlfriend, Leslie, and I engaging with a variety of interesting folks.  Some married men, asking of course the secrets of their success, and some single men having fun chatting us up and buying us Cosmos.  One particular person seemed perfect for Leslie.  They had the same goals, visions, likes (in what we could determine during the hour) and he made us laugh with his British accent.  One hitch – a good 70% of his time, he resides in Mexico City.  A small hiccup for Leslie… but he visits next week and I have great vibes on this.  So what if it is Mexico?  When it is right, and two people are on the same page and willing, distance is nothing if you can make the connection.

Would you date your friend’s spouse/girlfriend (assuming they were single and didn’t date your friend previously)? In this fast-paced world that runs at Internet speed high-speed, it can seem that you didn’t get the “memo” or overshot the empty musical chair when it comes to love.  The older you get, more of your high school friends now have their own families and you wonderingly remain the Lone Ranger of the group. But you also probably recognize that of your friends’ spouses/significant others, it is unlikely that any were a candidate to be your Bashert nor do you wish you met them first in the airport before your friend dropped that one-liner that lead them to the altar.  After this observation, I let out a sigh and felt a rejuvenated optimism that there is a lid for every pot, it’s just that yours jus may be temporarily detained in customs.

Despite the torrential downpour Saturday, it was by all accounts a great day. I ducked into a French bistro with one of my closest girlfriends for a late NYC brunch. Since it had easily been a month since we had last seen each other, we talked at a rocket pace discussing work, upcoming trials, future travel plans and of course, our current crushes. After brunch, we ran in the hurricane-like weather to our next destination…Mani-Pedi. Catching up with a girlfriend while accomplishing our errands was no doubt a great time. Yet, I couldn’t help to think on this dreary day that staying in bed, watching movies, eating Ben and Jerry’s and being goofy with that special crush would make for a priceless day.

It is comical how differently men and women think.  Posing in your profile without a shirt (despite your eight pack) or with your sleek, new (leased) Porsche is NOT a turn on.  That said, admittedly, I have dated those persons – fortunately for us we met offline or the relationship would likely not have gotten off the ground.

Ladies, I know from our conversations that it may give you the heebie jeebies, but I have learned to try to be open and see beyond the photo…you may just find your perfect partner worth photographing.

On a gorgeous spring-to-be day, I was out running along the museums and boat houses in Philadelphia.  I continued my workout going up the infamous “Rocky steps” with my iPod fortuitously playing “Eye of the Tiger.”  Cheesy? Absolutely, but pretty funny as this was my first occasion on the steps and they were flooded by tourists taking the obligatory photo re-enacting Rocky. After finishing my tenth rotation of the steps, I finally looked out at the snapshot that I’m sure is captured in any Philadelphia-based movie and sighed. Maybe it was the long-overdue sunshine…Maybe the scenery…but in the moment it was a reminder that life is pretty good and, as far as I am able to control, I have no regrets in life and love.  Maybe it was the endorphins or maybe the “wicked” weather, none the less, it’s just a reminder that life moves quicker than ever and to enjoy the moment.

This is my mantra today, this week, shooting for this month, and so on…It won’t be easy, I’m a planner; the Type A, where itineraries, schedules and plans have a calming effect. Not to say that I’m not an impetuous gal at the same time. John Lennon sang to us in “Beautiful Boy,” that “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” I think forward thinking affects both genders equally in relationships but perhaps it manifests in different ways. The future is filled with enough routines and serious subjects, so skipping over being fun, carefree and living in the moment, hinders us, no? Don’t get me wrong, this won’t be easy for a trained lawyer, but being (and enjoying) in the moment is really ALL we have.

If you have read my blog before you can gather that I have watched one too many fairytale Hollywood romantic movies in my time. On a recent double date, being kids in a candy shop “literally” in Dylan’s CandyLand, the other woman on the date conveyed to me that she believed in “soul mates” as we passed the licorice aisle. This got me reflecting past the Pop Rocks…In my past, there have been a few people who I thought could potentially be my soul mate, but ultimately as dynamic as these relationships were, they faded. A friend, who also happens to be a relationship expert and author, has told me time and again, ‘The people who you may be attracted to, may not actually be the right person for you.’ Through the years, I have been fortunate to date and meet some great folks, I think my fairytale-like notion of a soul mate has changed and now differs from my Dylan’s partner in crime. Yeah, there are a few soul mates that may meet (is it revisionist history, though?) but they are the exception far more than the rule. I am now more of the mindset that “love” is a verb, a choice you make. It is the person you choose to maturely love, and is a partner that survives the trenches with you, the ups and the downs, who I believe is your true sole mate.

How far would you go to potentially meet the “One”?  Would you drive seven hours for a date? For many New Yorkers, an Eastside/Westside; Uptown/Downtown courtship is considered “GU” –Geographically Undesirable.  For me, I’ve come to recognize that having money and a successful career is not what will ultimately fulfill me. So yes, although it’s a pain and more of a challenge, I would travel and fly (and have done so) for the potential “One.” Besides, distance is a temporary situation that can be rectified in the near future and just think of all the frequent flyer miles you can collect in the interim. You just never know where your Bashert may live!

Often I hear such cliché statements. You’ll meet “The One” when you are least looking for them. I appreciate the concept, but to negate that myth in a New York minute, Romeo has not circumvented my doorman and knocked randomly on my Manhattan apartment.

Secondly, when it is right, it should be easy.  Like forming an LLP (okay, so I’m a lawyer), relationships involve getting to know the players, their distinct personalities, what makes sense, and where compromise is needed.  Sure, in some rare instances Partnerships function smooth as silk but that is the exception rather than the rule.  The mantra “it should be easy” is a misnomer in my mind. Relationships and marriage (involving different opinions on finances, nookie, children and the like) are not easy topics. On top of that, men and women generally process things differently. There is no question that eventually bylaws are a necessary component to assist individuals who merge into a partnership. Bumps in the road, challenges, compromises, fights are all a part of the process. I would contend that your reaction and how you deal with such bumps is the more valid measure of success as opposed to whether the relationship is easy! That and as long as you are smiling a lot more than you are not…seems like a good basis for a solid corporation.