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The scariest thing a person can say when they are in a bizarrely terrible and wrong situation is, “Well, I’m staying in it because I’m scared I’ll never find better.” There’s often comfort in chaos but there’s certainly not happiness. If you find yourself in this type of situation and can admit you’re still dating someone ONLY because you don’t think you’ll ever find someone else, you may want to remember a few things:

• Do: Believe that you are a special and terrific gem. There are things about you that are beautiful and magnificent, things that if you suddenly forget your mother and even your grandmother will take less than 10 seconds to remind you of. If the person you’re with can’t acknowledge these traits or make you feel wildly amazing about yourself, why be with them? Always be confident enough to understand what you have to offer this world and never settle for someone who can’t see these things clearly.

• Don’t: Doubt your gut. If your gut is feeling all mushy, like it’s experiencing never ending acid reflex, take that as a strong indication that it’s filtering the true feelings of your heart. Have the courage to walk away from situations and people that no longer respect you. You will find someone else.

Read more of Jen Glantz here.

Though I spend the majority of my time during the day at the computer, especially writing emails, when it comes to remembering to answer messages on 100hookup I’m simply the worst. Sometimes I won’t write someone back, who genuinely intrigues me, for over 2 weeks. It’s a tendency of a forgetful mind that has me reading a lovely message, smiling, and then quickly being distracted into doing something else.

Do: Answer your messages as soon as you feel like it. Don’t even bother trying to engage in some “I have to wait 24 hours to respond game.” It’s responding to someone, not getting proposed to. There’s no harm in responding quickly and if they find that to be “unattractive” and like a girl they can “chase”, well then move on. That’s just bizarrely bogus and there’s no time for a person like that.

Don’t: Try not to wait an extended long period of time to write back to messages. Keep the conversation flowing and interesting. It’s also very easy to lose a conversation in an overcrowded inbox. Either keep a list of people you enjoy messaging somewhere else to remember to follow up, or respond once you have opened the message to ensure you won’t forget.

Read more of Jen Glantz here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

After going out on a first date with a guy, that mid-devouring a plate of nachos, I realized there was absolutely no future with, I was overwhelmingly surprised to get a voicemail from him just two days later. Instead of asking me out on another date, he told me that unfortunately he doesn’t see this going any further and would love to remain friends. Though we didn’t click relationship wise, I admired his courage, his honesty and his class for picking up the phone and breaking up with me (post a rough first date).

Do: Let someone know as soon as you can that you’re not interested in going out with them. Leading someone on just delays the inevitable. The least you can do is set them free from your charming chains and allow them to go out in the world and cling on to someone else who is better suited to sort through their baggage than you are. If you have the courage, give them a phone call or do it in person—It’s a difficult, yet well respected move. If you find yourself shaking in your boots, a simple polite text will suffice—and give them bragging rights of calling you a coward for a few weeks to come.

Don’t: Post it on their Facebook wall, tweet it to them in 140 characters, snap a photo of you smooching someone else and tag them on Instagram. Don’t ignore their calls and messages. Be a champ and pull the Band Aid keeping the relationship together off.

Read more from Jen Glantz, here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

The first blind date I ever went on also happened to be the shortest date I ever went on. I was greeted by a guy in a twisted baseball cap, tripping over his own feet and stumbling over words to say hello to me as he came to meet me completely intoxicated. He was so wasted that after 15 minutes of sitting across from him clogging my nose from inhaling the awful smell of whiskey on his breath, he passed out on the table. He full on took a little nap while I paid the check, for my water and his lemon drop shot, and suck asylum in a nearby ice cream store.

Thanks to this debacle, I established a two drink maximum rule I like to stick to when it comes to first dates.

Do: Limit yourself. Even if you adore drinking and believe that you have quite the bottomless tolerance, stick to a two drink maximum. That way you will ensure that your words are not being sloshed together and you can still have meaningful conversations that you will remember in the morning.

Don’t: You may think that double fisting a few beers or throwing down some shots before a first date may help alleviate tension or those nervous shakes you’re beginning to get, but showing up all topsy turvey to meet someone will be an instant turn off and will automatically make them lose respect and interest for you. If you’re going to have a drink before, also have a breath mint. No one wants to hug someone hello who smells like tequila.

Read more of Jen Glantz, here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

I’ve learned large fragments of stranger’s lives stories while sitting, alone, on my couch sifting through text messages that read more like short stories than quick back and forth “what’s up” banter. While getting to know someone through text message chatting before going out with them on an actual date is helpful and a great first step, too much “foreplay” with text messages can be an easy way to turn someone off.

Do: When texting someone you’ve never met in person, it’s perfectly okay to dabber in conversation over how their day was and to go back and forth, for a little, in order to get to know some of the things they enjoy and a few things that are important to them. When it comes to the best time to text someone, do so in the same hours that you’d communicate with your parents. Would you ever text your mom at 2am? Apply those same rules with date texting.

Don’t: Save your life stories, your epic monologues, your day to day play by play for the in person conversation. Don’t divulge in excessive texting of a person you’ve never met before for three main reasons: they may not get your humor before they meet you and be instantly turned off, it’s best to save some game and hot topics to speak about when meeting in person, and too much texting may make it sound like you’re placing them in a ‘friend zone’ with no intention to set up an actual date. Keep the texting to a minimum and to just a few days, then, go for the gold and ask the person out.

Read more Jen Glantz, here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

Just the other day, while on my way to meet a strapping gentleman for our first date at a restaurant in Chelsea, I found myself flustered and in a bizarrely terrible mood. I was running over 15 minutes late, stuck on a conference call for work, and though I had enough time to take a shower I didn’t have enough time to dry my hair, forcing me to exit my apartment with a wet mop of tangled split ends resting awkwardly on my head. When I finally stumbled my way into the arms of my date for a friendly “hello”, I was still huffing and puffing and feeling like a 5”7 catastrophe.

I noticed that when I started unloading my hectic day on the salad plate of my date, he began looking soggy, uninterested, and unsure of what to say or to do to cheer me up. I realized this complainer was not who I was! I quickly apologized and vowed to never again unleash these kinds of dragons during first impressions. Instead, I decided that next time I’m faced with chaos before a date, here is how I will deal with it:

Do: If you had a tricky day, call a good friend before you head out on your date and spend a few minutes venting to them. You should always try to put your best peep-toe forward when marching into a date, so a good a venting session will help clear your mind and bring you back down to earth.

Don’t: Leave your problems at the door. If you had a terrible day at work, just got into a screaming match with your darling parents or are finding yourself overwhelmingly tired, check these things with your coat and don’t bring them with your handshake when you go to meet your date. It’s okay to allude to them briefly, in a joking matter, mentioning the tough day you may have had, but why harp on it? The point of a first date is to get to know someone, so show off the things that make you energized, happy, inspired and motivated on a daily basis.

Read more of Jen Glantz here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

They say first impressions count for a lot. If anything, the first couple of minutes that you spend meeting your date is a moment that won’t ever leave the wiring of your brain—for both good and sometimes really, terribly bad reasons. On a recent first date I recently went on, the guy turned to me just after we ordered our drinks and said, “I’m sorry, I just woke up from a deep nap and didn’t feel like changing.” There was no need for an explanation as the wrinkles of his white Hanes shirt and zip up jacket said it all. His look was fine, except it was a Saturday night and he had never met me before. The least he could do was comb through his fallen, dandruff hair.

When you’re getting ready for a first date, please wipe the nap-time crud out of your eyes and pull together a nice, simple and memorable (for a good reason) outfit. Here are some tips:

• Do: Wear something that you’ve worn before. Now is certainly not the time to try new outfits. Neither is it a good idea to pair two pieces together if you’re unsure how they will look on you. Girls, put on light makeup and simple accessories. Boys, just one spray of cologne is all you really need.

• Don’t: When picking out an outfit, it’s a good rule of thumb to select something to wear that your grandma would approve—in other words, be modest. Don’t wear something too revealing, something with too many wrinkles in it, or something that could easily turn into a wardrobe malfunction and have you channeling your inner Janet Jackson circa the 2004 Superbowl. Guys, it’s best to change out of your work clothes, or something that you’ve had on all day. Keep it fresh and clean.

Read more of Jen Glantz: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

I have gone broke from a first date more than once. Somehow, going on a date just extracts the paper bills from the inside of my pleather wallet without me realizing what’s happening. Once, a few months ago, going on a date even forced me to overdraw my bank account. Talking about who should pay for a first date should be on the list of topics for the next presidential debate (just kidding), as it warrants much emotion, opinions and even deal-breaking decisions by those who have rules and guidelines tattooed in their minds.

Here’s my breakdown on the payment plan for a first date—this one is targeted to the girls:

• Do: Always offer to contribute on the first date. You both mutually decided to go out and “meet” each other on this awkward rendezvous and it’s only right you offer to shell out the cash for your half of the meal, or your gulp of a full glass of Pinot. You can follow your own rules on dates two through infinity. However, you should use your manners and offer to pay on the first round.

• Don’t: Turn your shoulder on a first date who makes you pay. Yes, it’s lovely to be wined and dined on occasion, but it’s best to consider a first date with someone as a friendly meeting. A “let’s get to know each other—on a surface level and go from there” kind of thing. Don’t be upset or feel as though you’ve been stiffed.

Read more of Jen Glantz here.

I always imagined that the more first dates I would go, the more immune I would become to the awkward situations and clingy moments that come with meeting and spending time with a stranger. But, no matter how many takes I make my couch potato bottom go on, I find that there are two parts of the evening that never get any easier. First, when the bill comes and second, when it is time to say goodbye.

Both situations make my heart race like it’s trying to keep up with a techno song and my palms get so sweaty that if the poor lad reached for my hand, he would quickly slip away.

Here’s what I learned when it comes to parting ways on a first date:

Do: Leave in a way that you feel comfortable. Whether that means with a hug or a handshake, bow out in a way that makes you feel at ease. Always say thank you and if things went well don’t be shy to tell them that you hope to see them again.

Don’t: expect a kiss. When meeting someone for the first time on a date, they are practically still a stranger to you. Remember, we don’t kiss people we don’t know so don’t rush into this sacred and beautiful thing. Take things slow and say goodbye in a thoughtful and memorable way.

There is a language for love and then there’s a language for finding love online—both, I whole-heartedly believe, take trial and error, and countless embarrassingly syntactical mistakes to master. But when learning how to present yourself and tame your feelings for a person you have just scrolled upon online, there is a certain etiquette to foster if you want to rendezvous in the real world.

Just like it took me some time to understand when to use the “Poke” button on Facebook (which is never), it also took me a bit of time to understand when to use and when to respond to messages in my 100hookup inbox that are “Flirt Messages,” (the standard template of one-liners 100hookup provides users).

• Do: Send a “Flirt Message” if you want to make someone smile, for a second, to show that you are thinking about them or interested. Follow up with a personal message that showcases a bit of your personality, and above anything else, that you took an extra couple of seconds to browse more than just their selection of glamour shot photos.
• Don’t: Use it as a cop out and send someone a “Flirt message” over writing your own personal note to them. Remember, your first message to someone doesn’t have to be a novel of questions or a five-paragraph essay. It can be a simple remark about something that caught your eye about them on their profile. Your chances will skyrocket that someone will respond back to a personal message over a standard template message.

Read more of Jen Glantz here.