Archive for November, 2012

1. Jew-lection Results

Four new hookup Representatives entered the House after last week’s election, while four hookup Senators up for reelection retained their seats for a new term. Combined with the Congressmen and women who weren’t on the ballot this year, there are now 11 hookup U.S. Senators and 22 U.S. Representatives.

Democrats Bill Schneider, Alan Lowenthal, Lois Frankel, and Alan Grayson were each elected to the House, in Illinois, California, and the last two in Florida, respectively. In the Senate, Diane Feinstein (D-CA), Ben Cardin (D-MD) and Bernie Sanders (I-VT) were each reelected. Senator Michael Bennet (D-CO), the son of a Holocaust survivor, also re-won his seat.

2. J.J. Abrams Going to a Far, Far Away Galaxy?

Star Wars: Episode VII is in search of a director and entertainment-industry insiders are saying the honor may just go to hookup film and television producer, writer and director, J.J. Abrams. However, Abrams says that not likely at this time.

“I am looking forward more [than] anyone to the next iterations of Star Wars,” Abrams told Hollywood Life. “But I believe I will be going as a paying moviegoer!”

Other directors rumored to be in the running for the gig include Iron Man director Jon Favreau and a lesser-known director, Safety Not Guaranteed filmmaker Colin Trevorrow.

3. Critics Love Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln

The latest in a long parade of on-screen Abe Lincolns (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter as one of the most recent), is Daniel Day-Lewis playing a much more serious version of Honest Abe… and critics are apparently loving it.

New York Times Critic, Charles McGrath, says, “Mr. Day-Lewis, 55, has already won two best actor Oscars, and his performance here, tender and soulful, convincingly weary and stoop-shouldered, will almost certainly earn him a nomination.”

Day-Lewis, whose mother was hookup, has twice won the Academy Award for Best Actor, first for portraying of Christy Brown in My Left Foot (1989) and then again for his role as Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood (2007).

Millionaire CEO Brandon Wade recently wrote an article about the 5 things successful men look for in a woman. He asked 3,000 men who make upwards of $250,000 what the first thing they notice about a woman when assessing if they want to not only date her but marry her.

1. COMMUNICATION — verbal and written communication was the most important quality men noticed in women. They prefer speaking to a woman rather than text or email and desire a woman who can hold a conversation. When texts or emails are exchanged, they are turned off by silly abbreviations and typos.

2. POSTURE — don’t slouch. A woman that holds herself high is a confident woman who has manners.

3. WALK — a woman’s gait, how she carries herself while walking (speed, form) exudes confidence and creates a presence.

4. SENSE OF SELF — being a know-it-all or pretending to be a know-it-all is not attractive.

5. HAIR — men are not seriously drawn to a woman with messy hair, unnaturally colored hair. Having healthy hair is also an indication of the woman’s overall health.

Do you agree with this research?

None of the items seem too outrageous and most of them seem pretty obvious in fact. Speaking eloquently, sitting up straight, walking tall and not pretending you know something you don’t all seem like normal things a woman should practice, whether you are meeting a new man or interviewing for a job. The only one that caught me off-guard was the hair. Hair? It makes sense reading the reasoning, but I wouldn’t have thought that would have made the top five. It draws us back to a time when men would judge a woman’s desirability by her hips and weight, which equaled fertility and health and therefore her ability to bear a man children. So I guess healthy hair is the new indication of femininity. I could think of worse things…

As a continuation to the conversation about dating as a single parent, here is an example of what NOT to do:

A girl I know named Mandy got divorced when her son was just an infant and when he turned 2 last month he had already been exposed to a number of men his Mom thought she was going to marry. Granted, her son is young enough that he will not remember any of these men, but Mandy doesn’t know the meaning of the phrase “take it slow.” She jumps in blind: labeling the relationship after 1 date, introducing her son to each boyfriend immediately, changing her Facebook relationship status, and talking as if each boyfriend is her next husband. It’s astonishing how quickly she enters a relationship, exits it, and enters a new one. Her dating style is worthy of an entirely other column but since she has a child it’s an even worse offense.

Single parents really ought to wait as long as possible before introducing their little one to their new beaus. I know it’s hard for parents like Mandy who have full custody and receive little to no support from the other parent, but try your best to find time without your child present. Once the introductions are made limit the public displays of affection and make sure your child has Mommy (or Daddy) time all to themselves.

It’s understandable to want to make sure your new prospect and your child jive, but if you have good judgment and keep in mind that whomever you choose to marry is also going to be an extra parent to your child then hopefully there won’t be any problems with your kid and your lover getting along because you’ll have picked a great partner.

I had just finished my new post and then saw that someone left a comment on an older post of mine. Here it is:

‘“Most writers?” I have a sense of humor. You’re just not funny. You’re not even witty. Not a good writer either. You spend 20 minutes on these things? 100hookup : see what happens when you don’t pay your bloggers — or even read their posts? You get this.’

This review/comment was attached to a post I wrote titled, Real World, and it was admittedly a terrible post. I reread the post, and it is indeed awful. I apologize. I have written for this site for over two years, twice a week. For most of this time I have been overweight, single, and struggling with several anxiety-related disorders. Though I do like to think I am a decent writer, and occasionally funny, it has often been difficult to be consistent two times a week while dealing with my actual life.

So, Shannon November, while some of my posts are bad, and most aren’t at all about dating, and I certainly do not dole out advice, I apologize again. No, 100hookup does not pay me, and writing is not a full-time thing for me. However, writing here twice a week has been the only consistent thing in my life over the past two years or so. I actually didn’t think that anybody reads my posts, so at least I’m glad that somebody does. I know this sounds strange, but the opportunity that 100hookup has given me has honestly helped me point my life in the right direction, as every post of mine here, starting with the very first, chronicles this gradual change from who I was to what I am slowly becoming.

I do not know if you have read any of my other posts, but if you haven’t, you are more than welcome to. Chances are, you have, and you dislike them as well. In that case, there are two other wonderful bloggers on this site as well. If that isn’t good enough, there are millions of other free blogs on the internet to choose from, covering pretty much any topic you can imagine.

Really, my posts are just as much for me, maybe even more so, than they are for the readers. They force me to write. They give me a sort of structure that I desperately needed a few years ago. My life is completely structured now, thanks in part to this thing. So much so that I am completely rewriting this post after having read your comment, even though it is killing me that it is 10 pm, and that is the time that I need to be in the shower.

However, after reading that horrible past post of mine and leaving that comment, you’re probably never visiting my blog again, and are thus not reading this. If you do happen to catch this, leave a comment. If anyone else has read any of my posts, or are reading this one, please let me know how I’m doing. At least I’ll know I have a semi-consistent reader, because all I want is to be liked, and if not liked, noticed.

“Why?”

While bartending last night, this was the question posed to me by a 25-year-old Libertarian congressional candidate, who spent a year of his life trying to promote himself and his message, only to garner less than 5% of the vote, as he sobbed over a whiskey and coke, unsure of his next steps. Why, even though the aspiring politician barely managed a blip on the congressional results, was he continuing to speak with constituents, and fervently articulating his unconventional ideas well into the night?

“How?”

My parents have gone through three kids, layoffs, disagreements, drama, and tragedy, yet have still managed to stay together for over 25 years. How, in a society where relationship distractions number ten times what they were when my parents were growing up, have my mother and father managed to sustain their relationship?

“What?”

This is the question many of you ask yourselves as you scan potential matches on 100hookup.  What am I looking for in a potential relationship/activity partner? What compelled me to sign up for an online dating site? What happens if every match is a failure?

“Will?”

How do you sustain your political erection, in light of severe election disappointment? How do you sustain your “erection of love” within your relationship, besides with the use of Viagra? How do you sustain your erectional (yes, I made up that word) drive after countless dating mishaps, which have you believing in your eternal residence in the land of singledom?

What keeps an unfunded entrepreneur creating 20 hours a day? What keeps a couple together for 60 years, after their kids are moved out and established? Why, even in the event of a string of bad dates, does someone continue to subscribe to an online dating site?

Desire.

A friend of mine got divorced about two years ago and he has a 4 year old son. He wasn’t ready to really date until recently — he didn’t want to date someone awesome while he was on the rebound and not trusting enough to get serious and he also had a little fun on the nights he didn’t have his son. He said he’s grieved his failed marriage and is ready to meet someone new after having learned many life lessons about himself and who/what he wants in a marriage. I was very impressed with what he had to say and felt he truly was ready — mentally and emotionally — to move on.

His question for me was this: what is the appropriate time and way to introduce his son? There are a couple scenarios here: 1) if she also has a child, they can do platonic playdates after dating at least a month and mutually deciding it is a serious relationship; 2) whether or not she has a child, they can arrange group Shabbat dinners or outings with other families; and 3) if she doesn’t have a child, he can tell his son that he wants to introduce him to a special friend after seriously dating at least a few months and then have a casual greeting at a park or other activity. I cautioned him that he should not be affectionate with a woman in front of his son until his son has met her a number of times and is comfortable with her and trusts her. The last thing he wants to do is introduce his son to a woman just to have her disappear from his life. At 4 years old, his son won’t totally get what’s going on but these kids are smarter than we give them credit for. It’s not worth confusing the child,  especially when he has already gone through the emotional journey of divorce. Obviously it will be “easier” if the woman has a child because then she is just “so-and-so’s Mommy” (or even having her bring a niece or nephew would be great!) but even if there’s no playmate to ease the introduction the goal is to have his son be as secure as possible knowing that Daddy’s attention isn’t being diverted from him.

Finally, I advised my friend that he should have as many dates as possible on his child-less days and to try and wait as long as possible to make any introduction. If the woman doesn’t understand and is pressuring you to introduce her to your son sooner, then there are probably other underlying issues here and it should be a red flag warning to you.

Right now, I care way more about myself than I do America. I don’t think that’s unpatriotic. It would be unpatriotic if I cared more about a different country, but I don’t. However, I suppose it’s selfish to care about myself more than I do about some flawed man-made construct that is decaying from the inside.

This is really hard to write about, mostly because I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. If I was not born and raised in America, I am 100% certain that I would be dead right now. I need all of my middle class luxuries. How do people in third world countries wake up without digital alarm clocks? Oh right, probably extreme hunger.

Four years ago, I didn’t care about myself at all. I also was not in a relationship, and had to focus my care elsewhere. I focused it on America. I think it was a mix of that and the fact that I was influenced by the fact that I was still in a college atmosphere, and college kids tend to care about things like politics and are idealistic and haven’t failed miserably in life yet, which is usually why they were able to go to college. After college, according to Romney, 50% of graduates can’t find a job. I would assume that this harsh realization forces people to narrow their world scope to themselves so they don’t starve or freeze to death. Once they earn enough money to be comfortable, they look outward again. Depending on the amount of money they earn and the part of the country in which they live, they vote accordingly.

Right now, I just don’t care about politics. No matter who we vote for, as I’ve said before, it doesn’t matter. We’re all doomed, and terrible things are coming. I’ve decided to focus inward toward myself and people I care about rather than external forces I have little to no control over. Think of it this way, if you knew that an asteroid was going to hit the earth tomorrow, which very much may happen, would you grab a gun and frantically shoot into the sky, or would you spend time with those you love? Exactly. Me too. Let’s stockpile our weapons and save the world.

Last night, while watching the Cowboys game, Cutler (his story referenced in a previous post) and I decided to splurge on dinner. “Splurge” meaning $25. “Dinner” meaning a large Buffalo Chicken Pizza from Dominoes, with a BreadBowl Pasta, and Parmesan Bites.

The BreadBowl Pasta was the crown jewel in that mix, similar to how the Millenium album is to any Backstreet Boys fan’s CD collection. Dominoes made it a point to ensure the pasta was well advertised, and that guys like Cutler and myself would salivate at the prospect of purchasing it during football games.

As the delivery guy pulled up, we raced upstairs, and opened the pasta. To our chagrin, it was smaller than we anticipated, the pasta was all broken up, with only four pieces of chicken included. It was absolutely depressing, and made me bring out frozen pasta to calm my stomach’s internal frustration with my poor Sunday night spending.

What is the point of this story? In the dating world, there are those who try and say what they aren’t. It may look great at the outset, and get plenty of views, but once your descriptive writing skills are put into action, be prepared for some blowback.

That being said, don’t undervalue yourself. Yes, you might be a quiet, shy, reserved person, but that doesn’t mean you stay that way when someone gets to know you. Saying you’re “quiet, but when you get to know me, am very sarcastic and prone to awkward humor” not only is funny, but adds intrigue to your online persona, and encourages people to get to know you.

On the other hand, writing “I am witty, gregarious and open to all types of conversation” when, in reality, you’re about as exciting as an Ayn Rand novel (apologies for all the conservative political theory folks out there), may lead to some dates gone awry.

In conclusion, I do not recommend the Dominoes BreadBowl pasta.

1. David Mamet Lends his Support to Mitt Romney

David Mamet is not only famous as an essayist, playwright and director, but for his switch from liberalism to conservatism as well. Mamet publicly declared he was switching to the Republican Party back in 2008.

Last week Mamet made another political declaration, although this time the announcement is a lot less shocking. Speaking directly to his fellow Jews, Mamet wrote an essay for the hookup Journal that asks, “Will you tell your children that a liberal government will increasingly marginalize, dismiss and weaken the support for and the safety of the hookup state?”

2. Sarah Jessica Parker Backs Obama
 
This week Sarah Jessica Parker appeared on Access Hollywood to share her view on why the incumbent president is the only choice for those concerned with women’s issues, strengthening the middle class and helping the poor.

SJP, whose father was hookup, tells the hosts of the show, “I am concerned about people in this country who’ve been trying to carve out a middle class existence… I’m talking about our veterans, I’m talking about our senior citizens, and I’m talking about children who are living below the poverty line.” You can watch a clip from the show here.

3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Sarah Silverman and Jonah Hill Just Want You to Vote

Some of the world’s most famous Jews are trying to get the vote out before Election Day.  Sarah Silverman, Jonah Hill and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are among the actors appearing in a nonpartisan clip by Vote4Stuff, an independent “get out the vote” campaign conceived and produced by Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire.

Among the concerns these stars reveal in the video: Jobs, marriage equality, climate change, foreign policy, reproductive rights, immigration, worker’s rights, teacher salaries and education. Watch for yourself before you head to the polls tomorrow.

The gym is an awesome place to meet someone. You already know the following: you have similar schedules since you’re at the gym at the same time; you both are committed to health and fitness; you have seen each other sweaty and in spandex sans makeup or hairdo; you most likely live in the same general vicinity. So that means you should buy good workout clothes rather than the torn shirt from the 5K you ran in high school or the threadbare sports bra which isn’t really supporting the girls anyway. It means you should make eye contact with people and smile rather than stare into space with a grimace on your face. It means getting your smoothie or protein shake at the gym rather than running home immediately afterwards. The gym is a great place to meet someone but so is any other place that you regularly attend. You just need to learn how to take advantage of every situation, such as the cafe where you work with your laptop — look up every once in a while and make eye contact; an airplane — keep the volume on your headphones low so you can join in a conversation; the supermarket — change out of your sweats and into jeans before walking the aisles.