Single Mom Mating
by Tamar Caspi
under Relationships
As a continuation to the conversation about dating as a single parent, here is an example of what NOT to do:
A girl I know named Mandy got divorced when her son was just an infant and when he turned 2 last month he had already been exposed to a number of men his Mom thought she was going to marry. Granted, her son is young enough that he will not remember any of these men, but Mandy doesn’t know the meaning of the phrase “take it slow.” She jumps in blind: labeling the relationship after 1 date, introducing her son to each boyfriend immediately, changing her Facebook relationship status, and talking as if each boyfriend is her next husband. It’s astonishing how quickly she enters a relationship, exits it, and enters a new one. Her dating style is worthy of an entirely other column but since she has a child it’s an even worse offense.
Single parents really ought to wait as long as possible before introducing their little one to their new beaus. I know it’s hard for parents like Mandy who have full custody and receive little to no support from the other parent, but try your best to find time without your child present. Once the introductions are made limit the public displays of affection and make sure your child has Mommy (or Daddy) time all to themselves.
It’s understandable to want to make sure your new prospect and your child jive, but if you have good judgment and keep in mind that whomever you choose to marry is also going to be an extra parent to your child then hopefully there won’t be any problems with your kid and your lover getting along because you’ll have picked a great partner.
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