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May 17

Blood Diamond

by JeremySpoke under Relationships

Diamonds should not be the symbol of love that they are today.  Aside from the fact that people die while mining, acquiring, and selling them, diamonds are dangerous.  They’re super hard, and can cut the skin easily.  Didn’t think of that, did you?  Since the only thing that can cut diamond is a larger diamond, you will keep having to buy larger diamonds to trump the smaller.

Besides, diamonds are still a bad idea.  I think that a symbol of love should be something which doesn’t cost so much money that it drains you of any money that you could have spent on health care, food, or clothes that your loved one desperately needs for life and hygiene. If you are okay with a malnourished, body-odor covered naked person, then it is okay to buy your loved one a diamond ring.

I think an equal token of love should be just that; a token.  Go to Chuck E. Cheese and buy a token.  Then, on your tenth anniversary, give her the token and tell her that because you don’t want people’s blood on your hands, this token represents your love.  She will leave you immediately.  You will have to rebuild your life until you are okay to date again.  You will eventually fall in love with someone.  When your tenth anniversary comes, be sure to give her a diamond necklace so she won’t leave you.

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