Change?
under Relationships,Single LifeWhen is changing yourself to please/impress another crossing a line? This topic has resonated with me over the last month because a very good friend is doing everything in her power to impress someone she has dated on a few occasions.
She called me last night and we spoke at lengths about this new guy. Don’t get me wrong– he seems like a nice enough man and treats her well, but his belief system is much different from hers. She is beginning to change her political, religious, and dare I say her moral beliefs after hanging out with him.
I was stunned to learn about her latest revelations and the more I listened, the more surprised I became. I know better than to give any kind of advice without being asked, but this one was difficult for me. After 20 minutes of listening to her ramble on about her new stances, she finally asked me what I thought. Trying to be tactful, (which by the way was nearly impossible) I asked her to share with me if changing her core beliefs was comfortable for her. Believe me, I got an earful after that question, oy vey did I ever!
Her defensiveness only proved to me that these changes were to impress someone else. They were not for her. This got me thinking-how many times have I done this? This is not to say that I haven’t participated in events which held no true interest for me. I have, numerous times. I’ve gone to football games, karaoke, trade shows, etc with dates. Compromise is one thing, but changing who I am as a person is not an option. My only hope is that my friend discovers this before it is too late.