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Jul 8

Playing Hard to Get on a 100hookup

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

You give off so much information in your 100hookup profile that by the time you exchange a few emails, have a phone call and make plans for the first date, you already may get the feeling that you know your prospect much better than you actually do. So when the first date rolls around you end up sharing much more than you normally would because there is an automatic comfort level with knowing how old someone is, what general field they are in, where they’re from, what they’re looking for, and so on. And if you’ve done any cyber-stalking — admit it, you at least tried! — then you may know even more.

After the date ends, whether good or bad, you’re left feeling like you may have overshared. It’s easy to overshare on a first date, especially when it’s going well. Try, try, try to reign it in, you’ll be happy you did if the date sucked and you’ll be happy you did if the date went well. Even when a first date lasts for hours upon hours until you end up watching the sunrise together because you can’t stop talking, there are many tidbits of information NOT to share. This is not about playing a game as the title of this post alludes to, but rather playing hard to get by keeping everything in perspective.

Yes you know a lot of information from someone’s 100hookup profile, but you don’t know them. Your 100hookups are still strangers, treat them as such until you know there is even somewhat of an inkling of a future. Your relationship past is not fodder for a first date, neither is your family drama or your finances. Keep the first date chatting to expanding upon some of the questions asked in your profiles: where did you grow up and how did you get to (or get back to) your current town? where did you go to college, what did you study and why? what do you do for a living and is this your passion or what do you really want to do with your life? Allow those questions to lead to further conversation, but without getting too deep too quickly.

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Mar 11

Extreme Profile Makeover – “Hillary”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

Get an Extreme Profile Makeover

Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers each Monday. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Hillary.”

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Hi Hillary,

Good call having your profile name be a combination of your name and an abbreviation of the city you live in. The only suggestion I would make is to maybe spell out the entire city because I didn’t know what the acronym was until I clicked on your name and saw where you lived.

More importantly, you need more pictures… way more pictures! The two you have look very different from each other. The first one is cute, but since you’re obviously dressed up for a simcha you need extra supporting photos to show that you always look that good! You’re second and only other photo makes you look much older than you are and much different than your profile photo. I would delete that one to be honest. You also do not show anything more than your face. Add some full body photos whether you like your body or not — because every man has a type, but more than that, every man wants to know what you look like from head to toe!

You should have about six photos with different angles, different lighting and different poses. Have a trusted friend or relative help you because we oftentimes see ourselves as much different than others — for good and bad. For instance, others often see us as more attractive than we view ourselves and we may think a certain hairdo is sexy, while others think a different ‘do is better on us.

All of your answers under the “In My Own Words” heading are great. Nothing stood out to me that was written poorly, or too much information, or not descriptive enough. Well done.

I appreciate that the minimum age range is 5 years younger than you, but I would increase the maximum. Don’t be afraid of entering the decade above yours because a man in his early 50’s may be younger at heart than a man in his mid-40’s.

Good luck!

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