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Dec 4

Buffet Line Dating

by Adam under Relationships

Like any guy whose mother calls his stomach a garbage dump, I love a good buffet. For one price, whether $10 at Golden Corral, or $40 for the Bellagio dinner buffet in Vegas, I get as much food as I want, and can try all sorts of different combinations.

Now, say I don’t want Golden Corral, and want a more specialized buffet? Well, there’s Pizza Inn, Pancho’s Mexican Buffet and Golden China Buffet. I don’t have the tough choice of deciding between meat, enchiladas, kiwi, and kung pao chicken every time I want to fill up my plate, but I do know at Pizza Inn that I can decide between pepperoni, pineapple, spinach alfredo, and mushroom pizza. It’s a lot of decisions, but I know that at the end I’ll still be eating pizza.

So where does 100hookup fit in all this? 100hookup is a specialized buffet- many people to choose from but the reason you all are on here is to marry a hookup person. For some (women especially), this is an easy concept (New York City, Los Angeles) as the choice of entrees allows for even the girl who still dreams of marrying the hookup Pizza Piper to date multiple alfredos, vegetable surprises, mushrooms, and maybe a pineapple pizza or two. Sure, you may find a couple of meat lovers in there, but that all comes with the process of finding your one true slice, and regardless that person still possesses the one characteristic most important to you (hookup faith).

Wait, what about those in smaller hookup towns? Well, even though there happens to be only 7 pages of people to look at, it’s still a buffet. You are on 100hookup for a reason, so why limit yourself to the 24-27 year olds, even though that 34-year-old might actually be sauce that meshes with your cheese? From my count, 150 people on a search is still a bevy of people to choose from, so no reason to complain about not being a success story, when you go for the same thing over and over.

With a buffet numbering 50,000 strong, why complain about the menu options, when all you’ve had is one small serving?

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Nov 6

Pasta Profiling, or My Date with Dominoes

by Adam under Date Night,Relationships

Last night, while watching the Cowboys game, Cutler (his story referenced in a previous post) and I decided to splurge on dinner. “Splurge” meaning $25. “Dinner” meaning a large Buffalo Chicken Pizza from Dominoes, with a BreadBowl Pasta, and Parmesan Bites.

The BreadBowl Pasta was the crown jewel in that mix, similar to how the Millenium album is to any Backstreet Boys fan’s CD collection. Dominoes made it a point to ensure the pasta was well advertised, and that guys like Cutler and myself would salivate at the prospect of purchasing it during football games.

As the delivery guy pulled up, we raced upstairs, and opened the pasta. To our chagrin, it was smaller than we anticipated, the pasta was all broken up, with only four pieces of chicken included. It was absolutely depressing, and made me bring out frozen pasta to calm my stomach’s internal frustration with my poor Sunday night spending.

What is the point of this story? In the dating world, there are those who try and say what they aren’t. It may look great at the outset, and get plenty of views, but once your descriptive writing skills are put into action, be prepared for some blowback.

That being said, don’t undervalue yourself. Yes, you might be a quiet, shy, reserved person, but that doesn’t mean you stay that way when someone gets to know you. Saying you’re “quiet, but when you get to know me, am very sarcastic and prone to awkward humor” not only is funny, but adds intrigue to your online persona, and encourages people to get to know you.

On the other hand, writing “I am witty, gregarious and open to all types of conversation” when, in reality, you’re about as exciting as an Ayn Rand novel (apologies for all the conservative political theory folks out there), may lead to some dates gone awry.

In conclusion, I do not recommend the Dominoes BreadBowl pasta.

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