One Liners Induce One Finger Replies
by SweetLo
under Single Life
So with the rising temps in L.A., everyone is ready to come out and play at night- models, rockstars, and pests. Some guys simply excel in their ability to bug anyone in the vicinity, and inhabitants of the hills have learned strategic moves early on to avoid annoying gnats. First off, boys, let’s talk about opening one-liners. Asking a girl if her father is a thief or a gardener, or if there is a mirror in her pants is not going to help get you anywhere near her, let alone in her. No number of glasses of low cal white wine is going to make any of those oh-so-appealing lines seem any less appalling. The A for effort you were hoping to gain will be replaced with an F for something you undoubtedly won’t be doing that night. Moving right along, lets talk about sleek rather than street savoir fair. In case you haven’t noticed, girls take more than five minutes to get ready, so don’t think you can get away with a wife beater and flip flops. There is a reason grunge died along with Kurt Cobain in the 90s, and while there is always something to be said for low maintenance style, hygeine also offers some serious sex appeal. If girls are willing to flit across sunset in stillettos, the least you boys can offer is a sentence that uses at least one word with more than two syllables. Any less and we’ll be countering with a one-up au revoir. Any Hollywood chick knows the sacrificial statement 4-inch heels exhibit, so if the girl is willing to suffer, the least a guy can do is avoid telling me that though he’s not Fred Flinstone he’ll make my Bedrock. A one-liner like that and he’ll be socially extinct like the rest of the homo erectus men from days of yore. The right ettiquette can help a girl go from zero to lust in 3.5 seconds, so if you don’t plan on sleeping alone, avoid telling your target that her shirt would look better on your floor- or the only date you’ll be getting is with your tivo.
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