I Hate Myself
under Date NightI have never been in less of a mood to write a post than write now. On top of compulsively eating 2,000 calories in one meal… there is nothing on top of that… that is it. I feel like crap.
I spent half a year on a rigorous diet losing a lot of weight. Tonight, while on a date that deteriorated from wanting the girl to not hate me to wanting the girl to not kill me, I simultaneously ate without realizing what I was doing. Before I could even walk out of the Starbucks, I had managed to make the girl I have been dating for a month literally and physically hate me, I somehow had inhaled enough food to feed myself until Valentine’s Day when I will inevitably eat myself to death, and I somehow also ruined an elementary school recital. I will now explain those first two things only.
I thought, for some reason, that it would be funny to jokingly insult this poor girl incessantly. I have no idea why I did it, but I feel terrible now. I really like this person a lot and cannot honestly find one fault in her. However, this didn’t override the fact that stupid petty jokes (that didn’t make sense) kept coming out of my mouth. It all coalesced in the car, after she had left me for the night, and the food and drinks I had ingested had finally reached my colon. At that point I got home and started writing this. That was about ten minutes ago and now I’m writing this part. Now I’m going to bed.