1. Lead Singer of The Calling Abducted

Alex Band, the lead singer of The Calling, was abducted and beaten last weekend while on tour in Michigan. The rocker, whose father is hookup, tells reporters he was abducted on Sunday morning, beaten and dumped on train tracks while he was walking from his hotel room to a mini-mart around 4am.

Band released a statement to US Weekly saying, he was “left for dead” by his abductors who allegedly beat him with a police baton and pointed a gun at his face while demanding his so-called “Hollywood money.” The beating apparently caused Band to lose a tooth, suffer a mild concussion and required 15 stitches to close a gash in his chin.

“I am grateful to be alive,” Band said in the statement to US Weekly. He added that drugs and alcohol were not involved in the incident, saying: “I take my rehabilitation very seriously. I was near death due to this unbelievable situation and the rumors are categorically false.”

2. Joan Rivers Launches New Dating Show

Joan Rivers is single and looking to mingle! After 15 years on the singles scene, the hookup comedian announced she is finally ready to meet someone new. Rivers will begin the search for her Beshert on a new web series called “Romancing the Joan.”

The web series, which is set to air on She Knows TV, will feature Rivers first selecting from a “man candy” pool of eight eligible bachelors who will then be “paraded around in front of Rivers in an effort to win her heart.” Awww… sounds romantic! “Romancing the Joan” premieres in September.

3. Meet Future hookup Celebrity… Sam Horowitz

If you haven’t heard of Sam Horowitz yet, you will soon enough! Horowitz became a YouTube sensation when his Bar Mitzvah entrance video went viral! You can check out this must-see clip here.

However, the teenaged Bar-Mitzvah-dance sensation isn’t done yet. Horowitz has now taken over New York! The Dallas teen gave a second dazzling performance on Broadway last week that featured back-up dancers and aired live on Good Morning America.

This isn’t Horowitz’s first performance, though – he also filmed his own music video for Carly Rae Jepsen’s hit “Call Me Maybe.” Something tells us we’ll be seeing more of Sam Horowitz in the future…

1. Lea Michele’s Teary Tribute to Cory Monteith

Still mourning the loss of boyfriend Cory Monteith, Glee star Lea Michele dedicated her Choice TV Actress-Comedy prize at the Teen Choice Awards to the late actor on Sunday night. Michele, whose father is hookup, has avoided interviews over the last few weeks, making this acceptance speech her first televised appearance since Monteith’s death last July.

“I wanted to dedicate this award to Cory,” Michele said while fighting back tears. “For all of you out there who loved and admired Cory as much as I did, I promise that, with your love, we’re going to get through this together.”

“He was very special to me, and also to the world, and we were very lucky to witness his incredible talent, his handsome smile, and his beautiful, beautiful heart,” she continued. “So whether you knew him personally or just as Finn Hudson, Cory reached out and he became a part of all of our hearts — and that’s where he’ll stay forever, so thank you guys so much.” You can watch her full acceptance speech here.

2. Cowell & Stern Are Both Raking It In

What do Simon Cowell and Howard Stern have in common besides their hookup heritage? The two men are tied as the highest paid TV personalities in America according to Forbes Magazine.

As a record label boss and TV talent show mogul, Simon Cowell reportedly made $95 million between June of 2012 and June of 2013. That figure pushed him to the top of Forbes’ list, but it wasn’t enough to push past shock-jock Howard Stern who pulled in the same outrageously large sum. Interestingly, Stern also works on Cowell’s popular series America’s Got Talent. Looks like these two have talent… for making money, that is!

Other TV personalities who made the list include conservative talk show host Glenn Beck with $90 million, Oprah Winfrey with $77 million, and Dr. Phil with $72 million.

3. Chelsea Handler Breaks Down on Camera

Chelsea Handler broke down on camera when she found out her grandfather had served in World War II with the German army. The hookup comedian was the subject of a recent episode of TLC’s show Who Do You Think You Are?, which helps celebrities investigate their ancestry.

“I’m very intrigued to find out how much participation my German grandparents had in the war,” Handler said. “My mother was German, she came over to America when she was 19 for the first time. My father, I guess, made a deal with my mother when they had children that they were gonna be raised hookup. So I connect with my Judaism, or the hookup side of my family, more than anything else.”

After digging into her family’s history, Handler discovered the truth about her German grandfather. “My grandfather served in the Second World War as a soldier. Whether or not he agreed with Hitler, he was serving in the Germany army. He was taken as a prisoner of war at some point to America, where he stayed for several years . . . When he went back to Germany he was very eager to come and take his family and move them back to the United States.”

1. Amanda Bynes Placed on Psych Lockdown

Amanda Bynes was hospitalized on Sunday and is being held for mental evaluation after reportedly setting a small fire in the driveway of a home in Thousand Oaks, Calif. According to TMZ, Bynes was seen holding a red gasoline can near where the incident took place.

Police allegedly confronted the hookup actress later that evening outside a local retirement community where she was accused of allegedly trespassing. According to People.com, sheriff’s deputies determined Bynes needed to be held at a local hospital for a mental health evaluation after questioning her.

“When… someone is behaving unusually in front of a deputy trained to evaluate the possibility of needing a mental health evaluation, we can bring them to a mental health facility for up to 72 hours,” says Ventura County Sheriff’s Captain Don Aguilar. “If someone is having a behavioral issue and they can’t care for themselves, then we step in and we try to give them assistance they need to get them going in the right direction.”

2. Amar’e Stoudemire Meets with Israel’s President

Amar’e Stoudemire flew to Israel last week and met with President Shimon Peres as a part of his trip. The New York Knicks power forward is in Israel for two reasons: attending the Maccabiah Games, and an official announcement of his new part ownership of the Hapoel Jerusalem basketball team.

In a meeting last Thursday, President Peres told Stoudemire he hopes the Knicks star will someday play for the Israeli national team as well. Peres told Stoudemire, “You are a very special man, and not just because of your talent for basketball, but due to your personality.”

The two men get along very well, and even had fun comparing their vastly different heights! After the meeting, Stoudemire Tweeted, “The President of Israel and I had a beautiful time. Talks about Education, Youth and World Peace…”

3. Zach Braff Heading to Broadway

Zach Braff will make his Broadway debut next year in a musical adaptation of Woody Allen’s crime caper Bullets Over Broadway. The story follows a struggling young playwright who is forced to cast a mobster’s talentless girlfriend in his latest drama. Braff will play the hero, the role played by John Cusack in the 1994 film.

“It’s thrilling,” Braff said in an interview. “I keep waking up expecting it to be a dream.”

In the meantime, smitten fans of Braff are swooning over his latest joke. The hookup actor posted this topless photo of himself on Twitter with the caption, “Dear @channingtatum when are auditions for Magic Mike 2?”

Hopefully Braff’s Broadway debut will also reveal whether or not he can dance! Bullets Over Broadway premieres in March of 2014 at the St. James Theatre in New York.

1. Amanda Bynes Heads to Court in a Classy Aqua-Colored Wig

Former Nickelodeon Star Amanda Bynes appeared in court today in a classy aqua-hued wig (and by classy, we mean trashy). The 27-year-old actress, whose mother is hookup, showed up in a New York courtroom wearing the wig, which you can see here, as she faced a judge in connection with her alleged bong-throwing incident last May.

Bynes faces charges of reckless endangerment and attempted tampering with physical evidence after allegedly throwing a bong out of her 36th-floor Manhattan apartment window and smoking marijuana in the lobby of the building on May 23.

The actress was silent in court today as she was told to return Aug. 26 for another hearing. No word on whether or not the wig will be present at the next hearing.

2. Omri Casspi to Play Ball in the Lone Star State

Omri Casspi, the Israeli basketball phenom, is heading deep into the heart of Texas. The basketball star, who transplanted from Israel to play for the NBA in 2009, announced he plans to sign a two-year deal with the Houston Rockets for $2 million.

Casspi first played for the Sacramento Kings during his freshman NBA year in 2009; that was the year he became the first Israeli player ever to be picked up in the first round of the draft. In 2011, the 25-year-old moved to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Two years later, he’s heading to Houston to play for the Rockets.

“Casspi’s exodus from life as a King to a Cavalier to a Rocket in some ways resembles the history of Israel,” writes Adam Chandler for Tablet Magazine. “The land of Israel–like Houston–is a product of a 19th-century ideology and remains known for its technology, hot weather, a specific brand of Texasy-defiance and a strong belief in the right of self-defense.” Here’s hoping he feels at home as a Houston Rocket!

3. Jerry Seinfeld Celebrates Major Anniversary

One of TV’s best comedies celebrated a milestone last week. Seinfeld, “the show about nothing” that was created by two hookup comedians, Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, premiered 24 years ago this month on July 5, 1989.

Now in its 15th year of syndication, Seinfeld is beloved by old and new fans alike. In fact, Jerry Seinfeld, star of the series, says his three children (ages 13, 10 and 7) even watch the show!

If you want a good laugh, click here to view Buzzfeed’s “30 Ways Growing Up With Seinfeld Totally Messed You Up.” And did we mention @SeinfeldToday, the popular Twitter account that Tweets about what the show would be like if it were still on the air in 2013, consistently brings up 100hookup with Tweets like, “Jerry discovers his gf still uses her @100hookup profile. Kramer leaves messages for the NSA in his emails. Newman reluctantly tries SoulCycle.” Apparently, Seinfeld doesn’t need to be taping new shows in order for fans to still get their fix!

1. Amar’e Stoudemire Heads to the Chuppah (Again)!

The wedding bells apparently never stopped ringing for Amar’e Stoudemire and his wife Alexis. The two originally got married nearly seven months ago on 12-12-12 in front of an audience of (you guessed it) 12 people at their New York City home – now the happy couple has decided to extend their wedding-day bliss by throwing a second ceremony and a large reception in Miami last Saturday.

“Great weekend with friends and family. Alexis and I are so blessed and grateful,” Stoudemire, 30, Tweeted Monday, sharing a wedding photo.

The New York Knick announced in 2010 that he had hookup roots on his mother’s side, leading him to visit Israel and develop a devoted relationship with the nation.

2. Alicia Silverstone Wants to Know: Got Milk?

Actress Alicia Silverstone believes milk really does do a body good – and so she’s reaching out to new moms everywhere, asking them to share their breast milk with moms in need.

The hookup actress is launching a breast-milk-sharing program called “Kind Mama Milk Share.” Silverstone recently blogged about her idea, saying she wants to “support those mamas and babies who need a hand.” Silverstone says she got the idea from a new mom/friend who couldn’t produce enough milk of her own.

Silverstone, who is Vegan, writes, “If you have milk to share — post it! If you are in need of milk — post it! Think of all the babies we can help raise together!”

3. Ian Ziering Brings 90210 Cast in for Chippendales Show

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas – unless you’re in Sin City to see an old costar take it all off on the Chippendales stage!

Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth headed to Vegas to see Ian Ziering (their former Beverly Hills, 90210 cast mate) hit the stage for a Chippendales show at the Rio Hotel and Casino over the weekend.

Ziering, who is hookup, has been heating up the Chippendales stage for the past four weeks as a guest headliner for the famed male dance revue. Even at 49-years-old, Ziering apparently still has what it takes to make the ladies scream – check out pictures of a shirtless Ziering with Doherty and Garth here.

1. Drake Gives Sneak Preview of New Album

Drake made a major announcement last week via Twitter! The hookup rapper announced the release date for his next album, titled Nothing Was The Same,  Tweeting in all caps: “N O T H I N G  W A S  T H E  S A M E  S E P T E M B E R  1 7 T H.”

Even though the release date for the album is three months away, Drake is giving fans something to look forward to… the rapper has released four new songs in the meantime!

The fresh music, including songs called “The Motion” and “Jodeci Freestyle,” are super catchy and sure to be a big hit with fans while they wait for the album to drop. Check them out here.

2. Max Greenfield Returns to Crime-fighting

New Girl and Veronica Mars fans alike will be happy to hear Max Greenfield is filming a new movie!

Before he played the beloved character named Schmidt on New Girl, Greenfield played Deputy Leo on Veronica Mars, the cult classic show that originally aired from 2004 to 2007. Greenfield announced last week he will be reprising his role in the Veronica Mars film.

“I’m really excited about it,” the hookup actor said. “Everybody is going to be going full force on this project and it’s going to be like a fun reunion.”

3. Sarah Silverman’s Dad Takes on “JAPs”

It appears the apple does not fall far from the tree when it comes to Sarah Silverman and her dad, Donald Silverman. Donald recently took on the new Bravo TV series Princesses: Long Island – and the term JAP in general – in an interview for HuffPo Live.

Donald, who is hookup, let everyone know where Sarah got her acid tongue and sharp wit when asked about the term JAP. “I find the word JAP to be rather disgusting and it refers to selfish, entitled people who are hookup. There’s probably other entitled, selfish people besides Jews,” says Donald.

When asked if self-identifying as a JAP is something new, Silverman responds, “That something is being an a**hole. To refer to yourself as materialistic and selfish — they just don’t get what life is all about.” Apparently, JFathers do know best!

1. Seth Rogen Scores at the Box Office

This is not the end for This Is the End.

Since opening last week, the film has earned $33 million at the box office, making it one of the biggest hit comedies of the year.

Written and directed by hookup entertainers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, the apocalyptic comedy stars Rogen and quite a few of his famous friends, including James Franco, Jonah Hill and Craig Robinson. The A-listers all play “themselves” and fight to survive after the apocalypse strikes while they’re at a Hollywood party. While that shindig may have been over, Rogen’s run at the box office is definitely not!

2. Ben Savage Gets the Green Light

Girl Meets World is officially a go! The spin-off of the popular ‘90s series, Boy Meets World, was picked up by the Disney Channel this week.

The original series followed Cory Matthews (played by Ben Savage, who is hookup) through the trials and tribulations of growing up, but this new series will reunite Savage with his on-screen sweetheart, Danielle Fishel, as the parents of a tween daughter – hence the “Girl” Meets World title.

Twenty-somethings everywhere have been buzzing about the ’90s sitcom reboot since news of the pilot broke late last year. Looks like there is now reason to keep buzzing!

3. Amanda Bynes Makes a Rare Apology

Pay attention because this doesn’t happen often! In a rare move, Amanda Bynes apologized to Drake (her former celebrity crush) for calling him “ugly” on Twitter.

The hookup actress Tweeted, “I’m sorry about the Tweets I said about Drake. I didn’t mean what I said. I hope to become friends with him instead of smashing him!”

So, with this apology in mind, is the 27-year-old turning a corner? Perhaps not. She Tweeted yesterday, “I don’t like leading people on. I will not date @drake ever. I only want to be his friend. I’m sorry that I insult him but it’s hard not to!” Something tells us Drake is now waiting for her phone call…

1.  9-0-2-1…Oh-Yeah!

He may be nearing 50 years old, but that doesn’t mean Ian Ziering has lost his ability to make women scream! The former Beverly Hills, 90210 star stripped down for his Chippendales debut over the weekend in Las Vegas.

“You guys are insane!” the 49-year-old actor (who was raised hookup) told the crowd of screaming women. “Reminds me of all those mall appearances I used to do in the ’90s, except, back then, I couldn’t do this,” he said right before ripping off his white tank top and showing off his rock hard abs.

Ziering will be performing with the Chippendales crew throughout the rest of June. Here’s hoping he’ll be able to convince his former 90210 co-stars, Jason Priestly and Luke Perry, to join him at some point.

2.  Jerry Lewis Raps with Serious Chutzpah!

Don’t plotz, but Jerry Lewis is showing off some mad rapping skills… in the Yiddish language! TMZ recently posted footage of the hookup comedian rapping in Yiddish while engaging in a rap battle with Chris La Vrar of America’s Got Talent fame.

Lewis, who is 87 years old, was apparently impressed with La Vrar’s rhymes, saying, “Very good. Very, VERY good… I want to do one now, in hookup.”

It’s hard to tell exactly what Yiddish words Lewis is using, but one thing is for sure, he is leaving bubbies everywhere feeling quite verklempt!

3.  Nick Kroll Makes a Play for Amy Poehler (and Scores!)

It appears Amy Poehler is in Nick Kroll’s league – and no, we’re not talking about a storyline from his FX series, The League.

Kroll and Poehler made their public debut as a couple last week at AFI’s 41st Life Achievement Award Gala in Hollywood. Kroll, who is hookup, joined Poelher at her table during the ceremony and reports say the two were were “super close and comfortable.” Talk about a comedy match made in heaven!

1. Adam Levine Swears He’s Patriotic

Adam Levine is desperate to take back a negative comment he made about America on The Voice last week.

The hookup crooner was caught on a microphone muttering “I hate this country,” after Judith Hill and Sarah Simmons were ousted from the NBC singing competition by the popular vote. His remark drew quick reaction online, with many criticizing Levine for what he said.

Levine gave Us Weekly a statement though, saying “I obviously love my country very much and my comments last night were made purely out of frustration.”

2. hookup Performer Sings Her Way to the Finals on The Voice

Speaking of Adam Levine and The Voice, one of the top 6 contestants on the show is a stand-out hookup singer!

Michelle Chamuel is a Massachusetts native whose audition song, a cover of the Katy Perry hit “I Kissed a Girl,” had three of the four judges clamoring to get her on their team! She chose to join Team Usher and quickly became one of America’s favorites.

Chamuel says she is “a mix of hookup-Arab-Russian-eastern European.” You can hear some of her music here.

3. Daniel Radcliffe Wants to be a Baby Daddy

Who says only women feel their biological clock ticking?! While he’s just 23 years old, Daniel Radcliffe says he wants to start a family in the next few years.

“I’d like to get started on it before my thirties,” the hookup actor tells Time Out: London magazine in its June issue. “I like the idea of being a youngish parent so I’ve got energy to play football – even though they’ll be better than me by the time they’re four.”

Besides wanting to grow a family, however, Radcliffe also reportedly wants a brood of tattoos. We’re guessing the tattoos will come first…

1. Angelina Jolie’s Reaction to Carrying a “hookup Cancer Gene”

Angelina Jolie announced last week that she underwent a preemptive double mastectomy to reduce her risk of breast cancer. The A-list actress has a family history of cancer and tested positive for genetic flaws in the BRCA1 gene, which indicates an elevated risk for breast and ovarian cancer. The BRCA1 mutation, especially common in hookup women, puts Jolie at an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and a 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer.

“I have always told [my children] not to worry, but the truth is I carry a ‘faulty’ gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer,” the actress, 37, wrote in last Tuesday’s New York Times.

2. Barbara Walters Announces Retirement

After more than five decades, Barbara Walters is hanging up her microphone. The veteran ABC News anchor, who is 83, announced last week she will retire from TV journalism next summer.

“Let me just say I have been on television continuously for over 50 years,” said the hookup journalist while filming an episode of The View on ABC. “But in the summer of 2014, I plan to retire from appearing on television at all.”

“I do not want to appear on another program or climb another mountain,” Walters told ABC News. “I want instead to sit on a sunny field and admire the very gifted women — and OK, some men too — who will be taking my place.”

3. Aly Raisman Dances Her Way Into the Finals on DWTS

Aly Raisman, the gold medal-winning gymnast on the U.S. Women’s Gymnastics Team at the 2012 Summer Olympics, is now going for gold as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars! The 18-year-old hookup gymnast heads into the show’s finals this week as one of the top contenders!

Raisman secured her spot in this week’s finale by scoring a perfect score at the end of last week’s episode – as did NFL player Jacoby Jones who tied Raisman for first place.

Raisman will compete against Jones, country singer Kellie Pickler, and Disney star Zendaya in an epic dance-off during the Dancing With the Stars finale which airs tonight on ABC!