I always see myself as young and healthy. Back when I wasn’t healthy, I was younger. Now that I’m healthy, I’m older. I never saw myself as overweight. Now, when I look at old pictures of myself, I wonder who that vaguely attractive semi-obese man is, and wonder why my mother never told me I have a second brother with no self control.

Back when I was big, and I saw those same photos, I didn’t see myself as other than skinny. Now, though thin, I refuse to believe I’m aging. My hairline is somewhat receding, yet I’m already using really cheesy middle-aged-man-methods to try to cover it up. I clip the front of my hair to make it try to blend in better. I brush my hair forward. I wear hats. I’m just kidding about the hats. I hate hats.

I believe God gave me the option of either youth or health, but never at the same time. Imagine if I had been young and healthy. I would have been married by age 18. That actually would have led to way more problems. In a way I’m glad I’m just now getting my life together.It helped me realize how bad things can get and appreciate how far I’ve come. If I had settled down by age twenty, I would have never realized what it’s like to really hit rock bottom, and wouldn’t appreciate anything, including my wife. Today, I appreciate my girlfriend more than anything, and I believe this is part of the reason. For ten years, I couldn’t even get a second date. Now, not only did I get a second date, but I’m on the cusp of starting a new life with someone who I wouldn’t have even imagined saying ‘hi’ to just two years ago.

However, I am still aging. My hair will fall out. My hip, which was just diagnosed with dysplasia, will give out. I will eventually care if my taxes get raised. I’m not a child anymore, and I really have no room to mess around. I can’t really sleep in anymore unless I’m sick, and even then, I really can’t. I can’t go to McDonalds everyday anymore. I can’t build forts anymore, because my sheets no longer have cartoons on them, so they would just end up looking like tents.

Though I am a good four months into my diet, it has taken a significant toll on the amount of money I have to support a lifestyle that, although has made me thinner, is also slowly killing me inside with every horrible, dry, disgusting bite that I take of one of my two daily Subway® sandwiches.

There is always a price one has to pay for getting thinner. For me, however, there are two prices. First, there is the monetary price. Not only do I have to buy two Subway® sandwiches per day, but I have to buy three independent Nutri-Grain® bars instead of buying them by the box in order to make sure I don’t get up in the middle of a hunger-induced dream and eat an entire box of bars at once. This leaves me with only a little spending money. The second price is emotional. Right now, if I had a choice between being fat with extra money or being thin with no extra money, I would do neither and kill myself. Both options sound like the worst possible outcome of a life that started with so much promise.

However, I am happy to report that women like me, in general, slightly more than they did half a year ago. The smiles I get last almost a second longer. Fewer people stop chatting with me for no reason on 100hookup® chat. I get more emoticons and exclamation points than ever before.

Now, I find myself sitting in my boxers in a dark room at four in the morning, and the only thing on my mind is how to find the shortest way to the kitchen in the faint hope that there is a drop of expired orange juice left. This isn’t a way to live. Why can’t I eat all the time and be thin and happy like people on television? Tell me, Regis Philbin! Tell me!

With 2011 being a New Year, it is a great time to make some New Year’s resolutions to get your dating life on track.  While New Year’s Resolutions are common and generic, let’s focus on online dating resolutions.  As you start this year, think about making the following improvements that will help to improve your online dating life.

Put up some new pictures – Put up some profile pictures that show your best assets.  Your photo album should be treated with care and carefully created.  The idea is to tell the story of your life through pictures.

Fix that profile – Writing an online dating profile requires a lot of effort and skill.  Look over that dusty old profile of 2010 and come up with a new profile that will help to build attraction and generate interest.

Improve your humor - The biggest way to generate interest in both males and females during an initial conversation is through humor.  Start finding ways to make your potential dates laugh through your emails and Instant Messages and rid yourself of repetitive small talk.

Improve your inner and outer health – Improving your physical health will not only make you more attractive to the opposite sex, but will increase your mental health, as well. This will provide you a tremendous boost in self confidence.

Follow these New Year’s Resolutions and you may just find your online dating life heating up for 2011.  So get to work!