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Feb 25

When Do You Reveal Something Major?

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Entertainment,Relationships,Single Life

Another episode of The Bachelor, and another post about dating. This time, a “final-three” contestant, Becca, waited until overnight dates to reveal that she’s a virgin. The Bachelor reacted in a respectful and classy way, and even kept her for the final two, but you could almost tell he did so because he didn’t want people to think he was a jerk for eliminating someone for their sexual experience (or lack thereof). Yet, the week before he eliminated the fourth-to-last contestant after she waited until he met her family to reveal that she had posed nude for Playboy.

The Bachelor

Chris and Becca on ABC’s The Bachelor

So, when is the right time to reveal something major? Is it anyone’s business if you’re a virgin, or posed nude, before you’re in a committed relationship? Yes.

You should give your prospect MAJOR information BEFORE you have “The Talk.” Would it suck if they used that information against you to decide not to want to be with you? Yes, but at least you know that now rather than later. You know what this major info is because you know there’s a chance you’ll get judged for it.

This is not the minor details about having dated someone you know they don’t like, or being one class short of earning your Bachelors even though you claim to have graduated, or having gotten hair plugs or a hair transplant, or anything that you wouldn’t really care about if roles were reversed.

But, if you have a latent yet permanent disease, or if you tested positive for the BRCA gene, or if you can’t have kids, or if you were previously married, then you should share this information after you’ve created momentum with several dates, but before you’re in a committed relationship.

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May 12

Make Your Own Momentum

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

After a few dates where you and your match have several great conversations, and discover tons of commonalities, you may get to a point where you don’t know if the person sitting across from you is just a super-cool person you happen to jive with, or someone who could become your next great love. As much as you may want to jump to an answer, there’s really only one way to find out!

The only way for you to know if you could have a future with this amazing person is to continue dating them. It’s through dating that you create momentum and take the time to explore your chemistry. You can’t expect the three C’s (conversation, commonality & chemistry) to be instantaneous and simultaneous; it takes work to get all three in sync! If two of the three C’s are already there, then keep up the momentum by planning dates closer together so that you can see if the third C develops.

Only then will you know what becomes of this new relationship; and whether you just become good friends, or you find your perfect match, you’ll probably have a lot of fun along the way.

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