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Jun 7

Drunk Decision

by JeremySpoke under Date Night,Single Life

There are many terrible, life-altering decisions that you can make while drunk. You can get pregnant (usually this one is only possible if you are a woman). You can contract a disease. You can drive and get in a car accident. You can drunk-text your ex-girlfriend, thus setting into motion a two-month-long series of increasingly awkward ‘apology texts,’ where each one just makes things so much worse until she files another restraining order, and you forget about this until a month later while eating at a restaurant a mile from her house with your family, and then you get arrested by the undercover police officer posing as your brother.

However, the worst possible thing you can do while drunk is eat. You really don’t realize what and how much you eat while you’re drunk. Last Saturday morning I woke up feeling horrible. I checked my transaction history and noticed that I spent $50 at Wendy’s. I had no idea that they even allowed you to spend more than $10 at a time. Another good indicator of my ill-advised actions was the trail of French fries leading to my toilet.

I would have rather contracted gonorrhea than have had to deal with another fast food hangover. The best part of my weekend is usually the fact that I’m off my diet and can eat whatever I want. With a fast food hangover, I’m usually not hungry for the rest of the weekend. So then, if I still want to enjoy food, I have to force down bacon avocado hamburgers into my body which is already trying its best to purge everything inside of it.

I have an upcoming date this Sunday. I have to make sure I don’t drunk-eat too much this Friday and Saturday night. I not only want to be able to enjoy the date, but I also don’t want  to smell of hamburgers so much that I have to overcompensate by using an entire can of cologne and then end up smelling like Dave Thomas must have smelt while preparing for a social occasion.

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Jul 20

Don’t Drink and Date

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

There’s nothing worse than someone who gets drunk on a 1st 100hookup. There you are: you’ve both taken the time to make a profile, sought each other out, connected, made plans, met up, and now your date is plastered. It doesn’t matter if the date was going great or was a bust, it’s just awkward and bad manners. There’s a reason why The Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger has a 2 drink maximum rule as part of her 10 Dating Commandments — people lose clarity, let their inhibitions down and start to act a fool. You do things and say things you wouldn’t normally do or say and are probably going to end being quite embarrassed once you sober up. Another dating expert named Rich Santos says the same thing: “Alcohol should be introduced into the relationship slowly.” A drink or two allows you to relax and acts as a social lubricant. You can have a glass of wine or champagne for romantic effect, but leave the body shots and and puking for a different night.

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