A few years ago I dated a guy about five years older than me. When the relationship ended, I was stunned to see him step out with a woman five years older than he. That’s when I realized I was competing with women ten years my junior for the same men. Not a comforting thought.

This realization opened my eyes to a number of things. First, the guys on 100hookup are selecting a much wider age range than I had assumed. Men are far more open to dating women both much younger as well as much older than they are. Second, women tend to have much stricter standards and that calculates to more women per capita, an equation that makes an already tough dating scene seem impossible. It also made me realize that I don’t want to still be single ten years from now dating guys that are also dating girls ten years younger than I. If it bothers me as the younger woman in the scenario, I can’t even begin to imagine how perturbed the older women are.

I decided that women need to take a page from the men’s handbook and increase their age range preference. Of course you need to feel comfortable, but there’s no reason not to date a guy a year or two younger or, even, up to ten years older. If you feel old enough to be a guy’s mother or young enough to be his daughter, then maybe you’ve gone too far. Simply increase your age range a little bit in each direction in order to increase your chances at meeting your beshert. Good Luck!

Dear Tamar,

I am a widow, 83 years old, slender, active, attractive and independent.  I am sad because I lost the love of my life and fear I will never find anyone else who is open to pursuing the art of love and living as much as I do. I am uncomfortable telling my age, except to my doctor and other confidants, because I believe there is such a stigma attached to this number.  Any advice?

Dear 83 Years Young,

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when I read your email. My Grandmother, who is 81, tells people she is 36, not because she expects them to believe her (although she does look amazing), but because to her age is a state of mind and saying she’s 36 keeps her feeling young and healthy. At the same time though, once my Grandmother had her 80th birthday she began telling people her real age because she was proud of it and knew she looked darn good! So I see it both ways. Since you’re looking for people around your same age to spend the rest of your life with, “pursuing the art of love and living,” I don’t think 100hookup is the place to be lying about your age. Embrace it and you will attract men who are also active and independent. Make sure your age range preference shows what ages you’d be realistically interested in meeting and do your homework as well — use the search function to find men around your age who have similar interests. Good Luck!

Upon signing up for an account on 100hookup you’re asked to choose an age range for your matches. Choosing your age range doesn’t sound like it should be a complicated matter, but alas age isn’t just a number. By choosing a narrow age range you’re systematically eliminating thousands of prospects simply because of age.

Like is attracted to like.  So, someone just out of college is often drawn to someone who is in the same phase in their life, while someone in their late 20’s who is working really hard to get to the top of their field is attracted to other people in a similar stage. The same goes for people in their early 30’s who are beginning to think about starting a family, they’re looking for someone who’s on the same page. That’s why many people end up dating and marrying people around the same age. But selecting a narrow age gap on 100hookup is not in your favor. If you’re a 28-year-old female and select a maximum age of 32, imagine how many 33-year-olds you’re excluding. Now imagine how many 34-year-olds you’re excluding. And it’s only an age gap of a few years!

When you meet someone at a bar you can only attempt to measure his or her age based on their looks, and possibly their career and maturity, but you were attracted to that person and started getting to know him or her before asking their age. So when it turns out that he or she is a few years younger than your minimum or a couple years older than your maximum, are you going to turn your back? Probably not, so attach that philosophy to your 100hookup account and broaden your options.

Interestingly, as we get older our preferred age range tends to change. First, it broadens and then it becomes narrower. When you’re approaching your 30’s you tend to only add a few years on each end because for some inexplicable reason age matters.  However, in your mid-30’s the age range widens a bit as other, more important traits take precedence. And as 40 looms in the not too distant future you’re more than willing to add 10 years on each end because you become pickier about other qualities. I actually think the last approach is best – make the age range as broad as possible and use other, more important, traits to narrow down your search.