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Apr 1

Middle-Aged/Older Man Trying to Find Love Connections

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,100hookup,Online Dating,Single Life

Hi Tamar,

Is there anyway to be tactful when specifying the type of woman that you’re looking for? How do I tell if they’re looking for love or just a casual dinner because they don’t want to stay home and cook for themselves that night?

A lot of us middle-aged (55+) single men aren’t interested in angry, divorced women who are still looking for Prince Charming to rescue them and then get angry that we prefer to date younger women who are more lovingly appreciative without all the “heavy baggage.”

Please help!

-Frustrated Older Man Looking

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Dear Frustrated Older Man Looking,

Sounds like you needed to vent and I’m glad you got that out. Dating can be difficult at times and it’s healthy to express that frustration to your friends (or me) rather than let it fester as you review profiles and allow the negativity to seep into your dates.

That said, it is somewhat hypocritical of you to call the women your age “angry” because you sound angry yourself. As for the women your age having baggage… well, it’s pretty likely that you have baggage too. Or, as I like to call it, “a story.” There’s no way you get to middle-age status without one! So try to change your mindset about that because you’re not going to attract any women, regardless of your age, if you’re resentful.

To answer your first question, you can make it clear in the areas that ask what you’re looking for that you want someone who is interested in a relationship and not just casual dating. You can usually tell what women are looking for by reading their profiles thoroughly and asking serious questions when you begin a conversation.

 

 

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Mar 20

Age Range Rage

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,100hookup,Online Dating,Single Life

100hookuprs are not shy about sharing their opinions — and the strongest and most popular one I get is about age. Check out a few of the emails I’ve received:

“I, at age 57, have had mostly older people (by 10 years) reach out to me. Even when I expressed that was too old because it was a different generation, a man lied and said he was 67. When I met him, he admitted to being 77. Don’t people ( I know women lie too) realize that once a lie is admitted you can’t start a relationship  with trust?”

“Tamar have you checked out the wishes of many men who qualify as one foot in the grave and one foot in a nursing home? Somehow I think these men have not looked in a mirror for at least forty years. When I see a 76-year-old gentleman looking for a woman 20-40, it gets me very nervous. The problem is these men have an overinflated idea of their looks and an underinflated idea of their age.”

I will advise this until I’m blue in the face: don’t lie about your age if you are serious about meeting someone because they will find out your real age eventually — so why fib about it to begin with? Just like the first 100hookupr above wrote, starting off with a lie is not a great way to build a successful relationship. That said, your preferred age range is just as important.

A ten-year gap is a general rule of thumb, but of course there are exceptions to that. If you are looking for someone more than twenty years older or younger than you, then I strongly encourage you to rethink what it is you are truly looking for in a partner and in a relationship.  

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