Archive for the ‘Success Stories’ Category

I don’t think I will ever be comfortable. I have moments of comfort. Lying in bed after a long day of work. Lying in bed after a long day of lying in bed. Lying in bed between different times that I’m lying in bed.

It’s not in my nature to be comfortable. I know too much. I know what it’s like to be miserable, and I know that no matter how happy I may feel, misery is close by. I think I’ve found a medium between the two. I say that now, but in an hour I may be curled up in the corner of my room. I probably won’t, though, because I wrote the previous sentence an hour ago, and I’m still sitting at my desk, and I don’t actually have nervous breakdowns in corners. I think that’s the medium I’ve found. Fearing the worst, and accepting the ordinary.

But would you rather break down from anxiety or be anxious about breaking down? I’ve chosen the former over the past few years, and it’s been for the better. Anxious people are a lot more successful than people that act on that anxiety. I think, for example, that Woody Allen’s career path has had much more of an upward trajectory than that of Howard Hughes. I don’t think that either men have ever felt comfortable, but for whatever combination of reasons, one was fortunate enough to just worry about his worrying rather than acting on it.

My blog posts have veered way too far from topics related to dating. On the same token, they really haven’t at all. It took me a very long time to condition myself to act properly while out with a woman. Now, of course, this did not exist within the vacuum of a series of horrible dates. It was a culmination of my weight loss, heightened self-cognition, life-changing events, and other factors that gradually helped me change the way I conduct myself around others. My personality is the same, and I still generally say the same things, which are mostly awful things. However, the way that I say them, as well as my calmer demeanor and attentiveness to my surroundings, which allow me to act appropriately in different situations, have really helped me find someone great. Two years ago, if a woman asked what I did that day, I would reply quickly and loudly with some self-deprecating diatribe that probably sounded like a monologue from Gilmore Girls if Lorelai hated herself and had severe weight issues that she was not aware of. Today, I would simply say, ‘I woke up, went to work, and then came here.’ It’s a lot more boring, but it doesn’t radiate self-hatred and leaves no room for immediate rejection.

I can now legitimately give advice about dating. Listen to everything I’ve said so far in all 199 of my posts. I am a genius. Even if it sounds counter intuitive. Do everything I have said. Show no manners on a date. Wear whatever you want. Take her to the movies on the first date. Yell loudly and make her pay for everything. You will eventually get the girl you really like, it may just take a very, very long time.

Sure, you can take the easy way. Be a great guy all the time, and thus attract women immediately. Or you can be terrible at everything, for funsies. Be gross and horrible all the time, and then blog about how you can’t meet women. And then keep writing about it over and over, until you eventually run out of things to write about and keep retreading over the same topics, glossing them over with progressively more fancy words so you can pass yourself off as some intellectual humorist, when really you’re dying inside and just want a little acceptance.

So, something clicked, and I got my life together, and met a great girl who seemed to like me. So now you all have to listen to me. All you have to do is completely transform your life, lose ninety pounds, painfully recondition yourself and establish a routine, completely change your personality, and get a good job. It is so easy, and not at all painful, time-consuming, mentally debilitating, or in any way leaves you vulnerable to sweat-induced panic attacks.

So, there you go. I think writing about dating will be easier now that I’m actually dating somebody I like, and that I think likes me as well. This will be a lot easier on my mind than struggling and then writing about the same struggles over and over. Of course, a lot of what I write on here is not about dating at all. That makes writing a lot more pleasurable, and hopefully more readable.

Never go into anything with high expectations. Never look forward to dinner with friends, because you will get in a car wreck on the way to the restaurant. Never look forward to getting that call from that girl because she won’t call, and if she does, it will be an accidental call while trying to dial her actual boyfriend, Brad Pitt, because this fake scenario is happening in 1995. Never look forward to that European vacation because your plane will crash over the Atlantic and you will have to stay alive, while floating around and feeding on your dead family.

Almost anything that you have or will ever be excited about will be at least somewhat of a letdown. Even your happiest memories are marred by something that you either choose to ignore or have forced your brain to forget to preserve that perfect story. You think the first time you were intimate with a woman was great? Think about that really hard. Remember how you were in the backseat in your tiny car in your childhood driveway and had to contort your body so that you could fit and then your left leg fell asleep and you started sweating profusely, while constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure your parents didn’t see you? What part about that memory was great?

Nothing in life is good. All that is good comes from distorted recollections based around selected repressed memories. Life sucks, but thinking about life can be great. Why do you think The Hunger Games trilogy was so much more successful than The Unauthorized Autobiography of Joseph Lieberman trilogy, other than the fact that I just made up the latter? It’s because real life is boring, disappointing, and painful.

My date tomorrow evening is going to be awful, and I’m going to go into it knowing that. I expect nothing but disappointment. However, if even one good thing happens, I will hopefully be able to repeatedly replay that part in my mind until it is all I can remember about that event. If the very slim chance that we end up getting married comes true, then that one positive memory will become the official story of how we met.

Exactly one year and one night ago, I was laying in bed, just like I had been for the previous consecutive 73 hours, aside from the two beelines to the toilet and the pain and energy it took to roll over every few hours so that my body could be in a good enough position to allow oxygen to flow from my lungs to my nose, without being obstructed by the debilitating effects of gravity on fat. I remember laying there, thinking about how fat and horrible I was and that it had to change. Something clicked. I know people say that when they decide to make big changes about themselves. Kind of like that cliche of the cannibal who, one night, decided that after eating all these dudes suddenly had a hankering for steak. Or the suicidal man at the top of a bridge who suddenly decided to strap on a cord and become a professional bungee jumper.

Though I had tried diets and losing weight countless times before, with each one, I knew they would fail. I wasn’t really into them, and I just liked food and not doing anything way too much. This time, I knew I was going to do it from the beginning. I think you have to know you will succeed or you won’t. Either go all in, or don’t go in at all. Either devote an entire year to a strict diet, or let it all hang out. There really is no in-between. If you’re not devoted to it, just eat whatever you want all the time. I’m completely serious. There’s no point to a diet if you just feel guilty every once in a while and decide to have a random healthy meal. Just eat whatever the hell you want until something clicks and you become totally devoted to losing weight. If you’re doing both, kind of in-between, you’re going to have the worst of both worlds. You’re going to be fat and you’re going to sometimes eat horrible, healthy foods.

I guess I figured that once the weight disappeared, the women would come. I started listening to this cornfield and it’s told me some really interesting stuff. I don’t think it was telling me the truth, here, though. Don’t listen to corn and do not base all of your off-topic jokes on 23-year-old movies that nobody will have remembered. They have not yet arrived, but I will be waiting, with your favorite flowers.

Maybe tonight, something will again click and I will be just as devoted to amassing millions of dollars over the next year. Or I will decide that I have to suddenly become a world-famous concert pianist. Who knows, maybe a year and a day from now I’ll be writing a similar blog post in a blog for hookup people seeking relationships with beautiful new pianos.

Despite my horrible attempt at a pop culture/what’s going on right now in my life/pun/blog post title, I think I am going to continue writing because I want you to know that I’m about more than just terrible titles. I’m about content.

I lost my voice yesterday. I don’t know what caused this. It was either from sleeping in a weird position or from constantly yelling at the top of my lungs whenever anything slightly inconvenient happens to me on a more than daily basis. I have gotten to the point where, even if I’m not mad about anything, I yell whenever I’m by myself because I feel that there is something going on that I need to be pissed off about.

I felt the full wrath of my own anger this morning when I went to  pay for breakfast and no words came out of my mouth. This wouldn’t have been a big deal if my job didn’t require 8 straight hours of nonstop talking. However, it appears that that is exactly what my job requires. Hopefully my voice will have recovered somewhat by tomorrow.

However, this got me to thinking (once I realized I needed a topic that I needed to write about that had to somehow relate to dating). Going an entire day without the ability to talk is a lot more frustrating than you might think. There are so many things that I want to say, all of the time. Now I guess I realize why I’m still single. I never shut up. What if I went out on a date without the ability to speak? I think that this is a terrific idea. Every single mistake that I have ever made has involved me talking. It certainly isn’t my looks. I’m pretty self-conscious, but I know I’m a good-looking guy. What if I just sat there for two-and-a-half hours and never said a word? Just sat there and pretended to listen and nodded and looked pretty. And then when I would call her later I wouldn’t say anything. And then we would get married and I would never say anything. We would never fight and we would be happy together.

Either that or I will wake up tomorrow with the ability to speak.

We’re celebrating more than just the beginning of the hookup New Year. A new study confirms that 100hookup is responsible for more hookup marriages than all other dating sites combined. Of course we already knew this was true, but now we have the facts to back it up.

We recently commissioned an independent research company, ResearchNow, to survey nearly 1,000 married hookup internet users. One of the most compelling findings: 100hookup is responsible for 52% of the marriages that started online, while only 17% of those surveyed met on Match.com® and 10% on eHarmony®.

Those who were surveyed were more likely to find a date on 100hookup than on any other online dating site. In fact, 63% of all online dates came from 100hookup. That’s three times more than Match and nine times more than eHarmony.

We couldn’t be happier about 100hookup’s success and contribution to the hookup community, and are thrilled to share the good news!

Additional Highlights

·         5 out of 9 Jews married since 2008 used online dating during their search

·         63% of online dates amongst Jews originated at 100hookup

·         76% of hookup online daters use 100hookup

·         Match.com’s President even used 100hookup

It is very common for women to dismiss all men as being afraid of commitment.  It seems they use this reasoning whenever they want to diagnose any problem they see in men.  If a guy doesn’t want to take a morning jog at seven a.m., he’s afraid of commitment. If a guy doesn’t want to go department store shopping for the better part of a weekend, he’s afraid of commitment.  If a guy has been dating a women for ten years, and still won’t propose, he’s afraid of commitment.  Okay, I concede on that one.

I may not speak for all men.  I may not be speaking for many men.  I may be speaking only for myself.  I don’t see anything wrong or scary with spending the rest of your life with the woman that you love.  I don’t even see anything wrong with spending the rest of your life with the woman that you tolerate.  Seriously, dating is hard.  The constant fear of rejection and the relentless pursuit of self-perfection gets tiring.  They can wear on you until you become irrationally afraid of weekends and of any restaurants that have valet parking.  Sometimes, we just want it to be over.  I am very much looking forward to becoming fat and apathetic about life.  Complacency is my ultimate life goal.

Though I don’t think I am afraid of commitment, I know for sure that I am scared of crazy women.  I think that if a woman becomes so sure that any man she dates is scared of settling down, she may work herself up so much that she can come off as insane.  If I’m on a date, for example, and the woman starts asking me how many kids I want before our bread arrives, I get scared.  This is not because I don’t eventually want kids.  This is because we have literally known each other for five minutes and I spent all week obsessively getting ready for this dinner.  Right now, I am completely committed to making this dinner as pleasurable as possible for the both of us.  You can’t just skip to us having kids.  Right now, I’m too focused on trying to figure out how to fill the next two hours with inane small talk to produce another life with you.

I spent this last week in Greensboro, NC.  It’s the city I grew up in.  My sister was getting married, coincidentally enough to a guy she met on 100hookup 3 1/2 years ago in New York City.  The wedding was a smashing success, and everyone had a lovely weekend.  I spent some time with my brother-in-law Chris, and while we were shooting hoops in the backyard, we discussed 100hookup.

Chris had dated a few girls from 100hookup before he met my sister, Miriam.  He said the same  thing I have been experiencing; he would meet a girl, they dated for a bit before they both realized it wasn’t working, and then he went back to browsing profiles.  Eventually he came across my sister’s, and after reading her profile that stated how much she enjoyed Broadway shows, sent her an email.  In it contained a well-written and thought-out letter, which included a less-than-true statement about his own passion for musical theater.

Lo and behold, it worked!  My sister was intrigued, and they met for coffee later in the week.  He gladly went to Broadway shows, and in return she was willing to give professional hockey a chance, a sport that Chris enjoyed.  Of course, later in their relationship, Chris admitted that he wasn’t a Broadway enthusiast, but by then it didn’t matter.  His willingness to embrace a passion of my sister’s was enough for her, and in return she did the same for him.

What does this teach us?  That you should lie about your interests?  Not quite.  But I don’t think there is a problem with embellishing them slightly to catch the interest of a certain 100hookupr®.  Who knows, maybe you can impress upon them an interest of yours!

The most gratifying part of our jobs here at 100hookup are the thousands of phone calls, emails and letters we receive every year from 100hookup success stories thanking us for connecting them with their beshert. We never tire of hearing stories and testimonies from Jews all over the world about how 100hookup has influenced their lives and, in the process, helped build the hookup community.

Two weeks ago, we had the unique opportunity to turn the tables and thank the “products of 100hookup” for being such loyal alumni, brand ambassadors and prime examples of 100hookup’s success.

Our President and Chief Operating Officer, Greg Liberman, and his wife Jessica hosted an elegant dinner party at Geisha House in Hollywood, inviting several 100hookup success stories of all ages (ranging from 23 to 77) as the honored guests of the evening.  The party kicked off with a toast and, less than halfway into the delicious four course menu, it was as if everyone at the table were old friends. Check out the photos below for highlights of the evening and stay tuned for news of our next success story dinner party in NYC!

Avi & Margarita drove down from San Diego to attend!

The entire group of 100hookup Alumni with Greg and Jessica Liberman

Erika & David are expecting their first JBaby. Mazel tov to the happy couple!

What happens when you put a group of attractive and single 100hookup members together in a room with a half dozen 100hookup success story couples of all ages?  100hookup Photo Shoot 2009, of course!

Two weeks ago, the 100hookup marketing team organized a professional photo shoot at Smashbox Studios in Los Angeles where 100hookup members and success stories were invited to receive the fashion plate treatment and pose to be the next “faces of 100hookup.” The photos, to be used in marketing campaigns both onsite and off, were to capture real moments in relationships and the authenticity of the 100hookup experience.

Once the ice was broken (which took all of about 5 minutes), it was time to hustle our models into hair and makeup, wardrobe, and lastly, in front of the flashing lights of the camera. Our models blew our expectations out of the water and posed as naturally as if they had been born to smile and strut their stuff.

In between shooting, singles mingled (a few even exchanged numbers!) over delicious food and success story couples traded anecdotes of how 100hookup has changed their lives.

Here are just a few of the beautiful photographs that resulted from the shoot:

Barb & Larry came all the way from Scottsdale, AZ to participate!

Haleh & Itai are getting married in September! Mazel tov to the happy couple!

Lorraine & Marv met as childhood friends and reunited several decades later via 100hookup!

Don’t Nicole & Max make the most adorable couple!?