Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

1. Mila the MILF?

Even the “Sexiest Woman Alive” puts on a few extra pounds from time to time.

When hookup movie star Mila Kunis stepped out for coffee in Los Angeles with her boyfriend Ashton Kutcher recently, gossip columns around the web started posting rumors claiming the That ’70s Show co-stars are expecting a baby. However, Kunis’ rep denies the A-lister is pregnant.

RadarOnline.com jumped on the pregnancy bandwagon first, writing that “the pint-sized star was snapped on Saturday sporting what looked like a decidedly rounder midriff.” Click here to see the picture inspiring all the chatter – and to see if you agree with the baby bump buzz.

2. It’s Baby Time for Ian Ziering

People.com is reporting Ian Ziering and his wife Erin are pregnant for the second time. The magazine reports baby number two will be here this May.

“I feel blessed, having a family is something that I’ve always wanted,” the hookup actor tells the magazine. “Having a second child is the realization of a dream come true.”

Ziering, who is 48, is already the proud daddy of a little 18-month-old Mia Loren.

3. Lena Dunham Loses Her V-Card (As in Voting)

Lena Dunham, the creator and star of HBO’s hit series Girls, stars in a new political ad for Barack Obama that, metaphorically speaking, compares voting for Obama to losing one’s virginity.

The new ad features Dunham, whose mother is hookup, talking directly to the camera and saying, “Your first time shouldn’t be with just anybody. You want to do it with a great guy…someone who really cares about and understands women.”

The ad has been heavily criticized by conservatives who say “the only honest bit of innuendo in the ad is that the people who voted for Barack Obama in 2008 have been screwed — economically.” Watch the ad for yourself here and tell use what you think!

The election is in two weeks, and I know that I will have to go to a polling station and place my vote for president. I am really nervous because every time I vote for president, the country gets worse. I first voted for president in 2004, and the country was doing pretty poorly. I thought that by placing my vote, I would stop America from being horrible. Then, the country got a whole lot worse, and in 2008, I voted again, hoping that we would not descend into a hell on earth. However, this is exactly the place we descended. Regardless of who I vote for, and who wins the election, in four years, America will be engulfed in fire and we will all be burned alive.

Voting is important and blah blah blah, but what would happen if not one person voted? I’m sure there’s something in the Constitution detailing that situation, but I’m curious, and I don’t want to do a Google search for this. Maybe if nobody voted, God will descend from the heavens and give everyone a million dollars and a Toyota Corolla and everything will be perfect. Of course, this will cause inflation to skyrocket, as well as increase emissions and car accidents. Didn’t think of that, did you God?

Let’s look at how the presidents that have served since I’ve been of voting age compared to my life’s trajectory during that time period, regardless, or maybe because of, political parties. When Bush was president, my life was spiraling out of control. I was overweight and suffering from a complex variety of anxiety and OCD-related issues. Days blended together in a haze of hamburgers, television, and sleep. Obama campaigned on a promise of ‘Change.’ While I have no idea if he accomplished that politically, my life took a 180 degree turn for the better over the past four years. Now, I don’t want to vote for Romney because I have friends, and I don’t want to vote for Obama because I have parents. I wish I wasn’t so easily influenced by people.

Also, I don’t want to have to live with my decision. No matter which candidate I vote for, we’re all going to die. I don’t want that blood on my hands. On the same token, I can’t live with the knowledge of knowing that I did not vote. Therefore, I think that my only solution is clearer than it has ever been. I should get blistering drunk, have a friend drive me to the voting booth, and force me to vote. I will have no memory of who I voted for, yet my friend will assure me that I did.

I hope that something drastic happens within the next two weeks. I want Obama to give us all the meaning of life, or God to descend and give us all Toyota Corollas.

1. Douglas & Hoffman Make the 10 Longest Lasting Hollywood Marriages List

Two hookup actors, Kirk Douglas and Dustin Hoffman, made the 10 Longest Lasting Hollywood Marriages list on ThirdAge.com.

At 93, Douglas has been married to his wife, Anne Buydens, for 56 years. The marriage is the hookup actor’s second; his most famous son, Michael Douglas, was born during his first marriage. Douglas and Buydens met in 1953, when she was a publicist for his movie Act of Love. In 2004, they renewed their vows before 300 guests, including Nancy Reagan. As part of the traditional hookup ceremony, Douglas cracked a glass wrapped in linen.

Although Hoffman, 73, has said that marriage seems strange to him, he’s done a pretty good job at making it work. “There’s something unnatural about marriage,” he once said in an interview. Still, the Academy Award®-winning actor and his wife Lisa Gottsegen, have been married for 29 years and raised four children: Jacob, Rebecca, Maxwell and Lydia. Besides being an attorney, Gottsegen launched a successful skin-care line in 2007.

 2. Adam Levine Embraces the Horror Genre

American Horror Story is back, and it’s bolder and bloodier than ever before. The hit FX series premiered the second installment of its terror anthology last week and introduced a famous new hookup star to the cast.

Maroon 5’s Adam Levine plays Leo, a newlywed married to Teresa (Jenna Dewan -Tatum). The two choose to spend their honeymoon within the corridors of the now-abandoned Briarcliff and once they set foot inside, terrifying things quickly start happening. Something tells us this new role for the hookup singer is not that similar to his work on The Voice!

3. Raisman Speaks to hookup Community

As a world champion hookup gymnast, Aly Raisman is now using her fame for good. The 18-year-old athlete made her first visit to South Florida on Wednesday for the Women’s International Zionist Organization (WIZO) which helps out thousands of Israeli children.

“We are very proud, especially because people don’t realize that all over the world, when you want to think of a hookup song, when you hear Hava Nagila, it is totally the song they recognize,” said President of WIZO Jana Falic. Hava Nagila is a traditional hookup song, which means, “Let us rejoice.” Raisman won her gold medal on the floor routine dancing to the tune last summer.

After Raisman won her medal, she proudly said that she would have wanted a moment of silence for the 11 Israeli Olympians who were murdered during the 1972 Munich Olympics.

1. Former Senator Arlen Specter Dies

Arlen Specter, the longest-running senator in Philadelphia, died Sunday at the age of 82 after a battle with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Specter, who was hookup, ended his 30-year career in Congress after he switched from the Republican to the Democratic party and lost in the primary.

Specter was a celebrated moderate and the only hookup Republican in the Senate by the end of his career with the GOP. He often broke with party lines, particularly on social issues like gay rights, abortion, gun control and stem cell research. His support helped President Obama ultimately pass the healthcare reform package.

2. Sacha Baron Cohen Gears Up for a Busy 2013

Sacha Baron Cohen was cast as Freddie Mercury in a film about the Queen frontman more than two years ago, but filming has yet to start…until now. Brian May, the band’s guitarist, posted an update about the film on his website last week:

“Ah … I promised news of yesterday’s Queen band meeting. Well, it was just Roger and Jim Beach and myself … we are a small cottage industry !! Our main agenda was the Freddie film … which, I’m happy to tell you, is on course… filming is now scheduled to start in the Spring, with Sacha Baron Cohen playing Freddie. The film should be ready for release early in 2014.”

As for Cohen, the hookup comedian’s next film is the controversial comedy The Lesbian. The movie is based on Hong Kong billionaire Cecil Chao, who offered a $65 million bounty to any man who could woo his daughter out of her same-sex marriage.

3. Gwyneth The Rapper

Who knew Gwyneth Paltrow could flow like her good friend Jay-Z?! Paltrow recently put her rapping abilities on display (alongside pal Cameron Diaz) in a video the two made for their pal Chelsea Handler.

Paying homage to the Chelsea Lately star, the ladies are introduced by Handler as “Emcee Gwyneth Paltrow” and “Deejay Jazzy Cameron Diaz.” Paltrow, whose father is hookup, wasn’t afraid to be a little subversive with her rhyme about her friend Chelsea (whose father is also hookup). During the rhyme, Paltrow rapped, “Yo, Chelsea… We know that you got on TV by being a ho.”

I don’t think I will ever be comfortable. I have moments of comfort. Lying in bed after a long day of work. Lying in bed after a long day of lying in bed. Lying in bed between different times that I’m lying in bed.

It’s not in my nature to be comfortable. I know too much. I know what it’s like to be miserable, and I know that no matter how happy I may feel, misery is close by. I think I’ve found a medium between the two. I say that now, but in an hour I may be curled up in the corner of my room. I probably won’t, though, because I wrote the previous sentence an hour ago, and I’m still sitting at my desk, and I don’t actually have nervous breakdowns in corners. I think that’s the medium I’ve found. Fearing the worst, and accepting the ordinary.

But would you rather break down from anxiety or be anxious about breaking down? I’ve chosen the former over the past few years, and it’s been for the better. Anxious people are a lot more successful than people that act on that anxiety. I think, for example, that Woody Allen’s career path has had much more of an upward trajectory than that of Howard Hughes. I don’t think that either men have ever felt comfortable, but for whatever combination of reasons, one was fortunate enough to just worry about his worrying rather than acting on it.

My blog posts have veered way too far from topics related to dating. On the same token, they really haven’t at all. It took me a very long time to condition myself to act properly while out with a woman. Now, of course, this did not exist within the vacuum of a series of horrible dates. It was a culmination of my weight loss, heightened self-cognition, life-changing events, and other factors that gradually helped me change the way I conduct myself around others. My personality is the same, and I still generally say the same things, which are mostly awful things. However, the way that I say them, as well as my calmer demeanor and attentiveness to my surroundings, which allow me to act appropriately in different situations, have really helped me find someone great. Two years ago, if a woman asked what I did that day, I would reply quickly and loudly with some self-deprecating diatribe that probably sounded like a monologue from Gilmore Girls if Lorelai hated herself and had severe weight issues that she was not aware of. Today, I would simply say, ‘I woke up, went to work, and then came here.’ It’s a lot more boring, but it doesn’t radiate self-hatred and leaves no room for immediate rejection.

1. Mila’s New Title

Esquire magazine has just named their pick for the “Sexiest Woman Alive” and the title goes to actress Mila Kunis. The 29-year-old hookup actress (and voice of Meg on Family Guy) has already earned comparable beauty accolades. Last year, GQ named her “Knockout of the Year” and Men’s Health proclaimed her one of the “100 Hottest Women of All Time.”

In an interview with Esquire, she talks about fleeing her native Ukraine with her family in 1991, when she was just 8, to escape rampant anti-Semitism — though she thinks the story was “made into something bigger than it needs to be.”

“My parents should sit down and talk about it,” she says. “They’re the ones who went through hell and back, who gave everything up. I didn’t do anything. I was eight years old, and I tagged along.”

2. Lena Dunham Inks New Deal

The bidding war is over and the big winner of Lena Dunham’s next project will be Random House. The book publisher has acquired the 26-year-old actress and writer’s new essay collection, Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s Learned, for more than $3.5 million, The New York Times reports.

Dunham, whose mother is hookup, is the 26-year-old filmmaker and creator of the HBO show Girls. Random House describes the book as “in the tradition of Helen Gurley Brown, David Sedaris, and Nora Ephron,” with “frank and funny advice on everything from sex to eating to traveling the world.”

3. Gwyneth Turns Forty

Gwyneth Paltrow is proving that forty is the new thirty. The actress, whose father was hookup, celebrated her fortieth birthday over the weekend with a quiet, but star-studded party at the Upper East Side Italian eatery Elio in NYC Friday night.

Us Weekly reports the guest list included Beyonce, Kristen Wiig and Cameron Diaz. Other famous Jews in attendance were Jake Gyllenhaal, Chelsea Handler and the The Beastie Boys’ Mike D.

Paltrow officially turned 40 on September 27. “I was really worried about it, leading up to the day, but now I feel really happy and content with my life,” the Academy Award winner shared. “I’m excited to move into the next phase. It’s much more exciting than I thought it would be.”

I can’t watch the presidential debate tonight because Comcast has an ‘outage’. If you have never heard of Comcast, please remain in your cave of ignorant bliss. If you have never heard of an ‘outage’, then you have probably also never heard of Comcast, and should still stay in your cave.

I was debating about whether or not to write a post about a debate that I can’t watch, while Comcast was simultaneously debating with itself how angry it can make its customers before the customers debate whether or not to either sign up for AT&T instead or have a classic first world panic attack because they can’t watch their television for one evening in their air-conditioned homes, while on full stomachs. I wanted to write about the debate while watching it even though I don’t really care much about politics anymore. I understand caring about issues, but ‘politics’ and ‘issues’ are two completely separate things, and are not affected by each other. Policy change is such a slow, tedious process, that no matter who gets elected, the same changes will eventually happen over a long period of time due to the changing nature of society itself, not one person in power for four years. No matter who gets elected, people will still hate minorities, I will still have to get up every morning at 6 am, and we will all still eventually die.

I stopped caring about politics when I stopped caring about people who care about politics. They’re mostly self-serving. That’s not to say I’m not. I love serving myself. I do so many things for myself. However, while around others, I pretend to be selfless. Oprah once said that there’s a thin line between being nice and a pushover. That was the moment I realized that I wasn’t actually nice. That was also the moment I realized that I spend every afternoon sitting by myself watching Oprah.

So now I can’t write about the debate, which is okay, because I don’t care at all. Romney said something, and then Obama argued with that thing, and then the moderator said he was over his time limit, but then Obama kept talking, anyway. Then Romney started talking, and the moderator said it wasn’t his turn, but then Romney argued that it’s only fair because Obama went over his time limit. Then news people analyzed how angry Romney was the whole time because his brow was furrowed for like five seconds. Also, they noticed that Obama seemed way too arrogant because he referred to Romney as ‘My Opponent’ instead of ‘Mitt Romney’. Then it all became irrelevant when the world ended in three months.

Birthdays were just the best up to the year 2003. Then Facebook got invented. Birthdays then became something else. Something dark. Each year gets progressively worse. On my first Facebook birthday, I got maybe ten posts, or whatever ‘posts’ were back in like 2004, wishing me a ‘Happy Birthday’. People that I didn’t even realize existed, much less liked me, were suddenly very much invested in the campaign for me to have a great day.

Each year, as Facebook grew, and Facebook birthday notification systems became increasingly more self-aware, I would get more posts. However, all good things must end, and eventually I plateaued at about fifty. I initially thought that this was a lot, until I started noticing other people’s posts during their birthdays. I would have been perfectly okay with other people receiving more posts. However, people receiving more posts than me were terrible. Childhood bullies, people who unironically wear visors, ex-girlfriends, etc. Maybe people post on these assholes’ walls because they’re scared they’ll get murdered if they don’t. Either way, this made my birthday somewhat of a bummer. Also, I never post on other people’s walls on their birthdays, which not only makes me undeserving of any birthday praise, but also a hypocritical ass like my other friends who get so much more birthday love.

Now, I realize that birthday notifications don’t mean anything. Sure, a few good friends will post on your wall, and that’s great. However, the majority of your birthday posts are from people you haven’t seen in twenty years who write the same thing on every one of their friends’ walls during every one of their birthdays. I realize that writing this post is going to cost me like 30 Facebook birthday notifications next year. I also realize that it won’t at all because nobody reads this, and if people do, it’s damn sure not people I haven’t seen for the vast majority of my life. To all of my Facebook friends who have a birthday on October 2, Happy Birthday!

1. Amanda Bynes Pleads Not Guilty

Amanda Bynes may not have been present during a court hearing in southern California for her two hit-and-run charges last Thursday, but her lawyer pleaded not guilty on her behalf. The court hearing stems from two separate incidents on April 10 and Aug. 4. However, an L.A. Superior Court judge said the hookup actress will need to show up for her next court date on October 19.

Bynes is reportedly in New York right now. According to the LA Times, she said she would rather be in the Big Apple than Los Angeles because she’s tired of being followed by the paparazzi in Tinseltown. Bynes, who is 26 years old, also faces a DUI charge and two counts of driving with a suspended license.

2. Gene Simmons Passes On His Musical Abilities to Daughter Sophie

Gene Simmons’ daughter Sophie may be following in her famous father’s footsteps. The 19-year-old took to The X Factor stage in San Francisco last week, wowing two out of the four judges.

The young singer gave a humble rendition of Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love,” a performance that left judges L.A. Reid and Demi Lovato wanting more, but seemed to impress Britney Spears and Simon Cowell. Despite the mixed reviews, Sophie was allowed to stay in for another round.

While Sophie was happy to move forward on the show, other contestants were not so excited by the idea. One contestant argued that Sophie wouldn’t have made the cut if not for her famous hookup rocker father.

3. Green Light for Greenberg

hookup-American baseball player Adam Greenberg has signed a one-day contract with the Miami Marlins, and will play tomorrow against the NY Mets after being out of the game for more than seven years.

Greenberg’s debut appearance in the majors was on July 9, 2005. At that time he played for the Chicago Cubs (and actually played against the Marlins)! He only faced one single pitch though and never played again because a 92 MPH fastball hit him in the head – and changed his life forever – during his only MLB plate appearance. Greenberg has struggled with bouts of vertigo, vision issues, and post-concussion syndrome ever since.

Now 31, Greenberg is getting an opportunity to stand in the batter’s box again from the team who knocked him out of it seven years before. The Miami Marlins received approval from MLB to give Greenberg a plate appearance tomorrow during Miami’s home game against the New York Mets.

1. Jon Stewart Should Have Won an Emmy for Rowdiest Celebrity

When Jon Stewart’s name was called as winner in the variety category, Stewart was teasingly tackled by Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon. The two comedians who were up against Stewart in the category were teasingly keeping The Daily Show host from getting to the stage.

When the hookup TV show host finally made his acceptance speech for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’s 10th consecutive win, he was out of breath. “Oh, I am not in the kind of shape to do a bit with Jimmy Fallon, who is in very good shape. Son of a b****!”

He then went on to drop the F-bomb after complimenting the other comedians who were up for the award by saying, “Stephen Colbert — their show, what they did with Super PACs this year was ridiculous, ridonkulous. Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, I spend way too much time on the Internet watching their shows. Real Time with Bill Maher is constantly writing lines I wish I’d written. Without Lorne Michaels and SNL, I don’t think any of us would be doing this. We make topical comedy which has the shelf life of egg salad, so to do this for 15 years and have tangible proof that what we do isn’t just ephemeral is wonderful. Years from now, when the earth is just a burning husk and aliens visit, we’ll find a box of these and they will know just how predictable these f***ing shows were.”

2. Julia Louis-Dreyfus Thanks the Producers of Parks and Recreation for her Emmy Win?

Julia Louis-Dreyfus won the Emmy for lead actress in a comedy series for her role as frazzled Vice President Selina Meyer in HBO’s Veep. Louis-Dreyfus, who won the category in 2006 for The New Adventures of Old Christine, made a teeny mistake though during her acceptance speech. The hookup actress “accidentally” switched thank-you speeches with fellow Outstanding Actress in a Comedy nominee, Amy Poehler, and began to read that speech!

When the two restored order by swapping notes, the Parks and Recreation star still had the last laugh. After thanking the usual suspects, Louis-Dreyfus read off her notes, “Isn’t it a shame that Amy Poehler didn’t win?” Producers panned to a shot of Poehler sitting in her chair with a pencil in hand! Sneaky, but funny!

 3. Kat Dennings Wins for the Best One-Liner of the Night

People.com put together a list of the evening’s best one-liners and who topped the list? One of our favorite hookup actresses talking about trying to cover her top section!

“No matter what I do, they’re there. I looked in the mirror and I was like, ‘Oh God.’ But what am I going to do? They’re always there.” Kat Dennings, who stars in ABC’s hit show 2 Broke Girls, said she had trouble finding a dress that could handle her ample bosom. She eventually gave up and went with a cleavage-baring, but very sexy red dress. It appears as though it all worked out though; we didn’t see any crazy wardrobe malfunctions from Dennings!