Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

I know nothing about them.

Some think that James Franco will raise one to rise up against us. Others claim that that is just a film. Either way, ever since I first saw the original Planet of the Apes, I do not trust them.

Recently, while at the zoo, a woman among the crowd watching the chimpanzees was actually eating a banana. I am not making this up. At the exact same moment, two chimpanzees had to dig this dirty stick into this weird hole thing filled with dirty orange juice, and then pull it out and lick whatever juice remained on the stick. I now completely understand why the apes will rise up against us. Our greed has surpassed anything we ever could have imagined. We can eat a banana during any moment of any day for the rest of our lives, and this one lady decided to choose the moment she was staring at chimpanzees in an enclosed space.

I don’t know how much time we have left on this earth, but judging by human behavior such as this, it’s not long. Let’s just think about things before we do them. For example, if we’re going to stare at creatures in captivity whose favorite all-time food is bananas, let’s wait until we leave to eat a banana. Also, now that I think about it, there’s no way that the zoo even sells bananas. This woman must have brought her banana from home for the sole purpose of eating it in front of these chimps.

Also, the second troubling thing about this scenario is the fact that there were maybe 50 people staring at the chimps, yet nobody mentioned to this woman that she should stop eating her banana, including myself. However, at the time, I was too hungry to really care anyway. If I had a banana in my hand, I probably also would have eaten it.

Let’s just be nicer to each other. If you’re angry, let it out when you’re alone. I do that all the time. Also, I’m an a** in front of people sometimes. I’m not better than anyone else. I just write about it like I am.

1. Mayim Bialik Announces Divorce Plans

Actress Mayim Bialik and her husband Michael Stone have decided to separate after nine years of marriage. The hookup actress shared the news on her parenting blog last Wednesday, telling fans that she and Stone agreed to separate due to irreconcilable differences “after much consideration and soul-searching.”

“Divorce is terribly sad, painful and incomprehensible for children,” Bialik posted on her blog. “The main priority for us now is to make the transition to two loving homes as smooth and painless as possible. Our sons deserve parents committed to their growth and health and that’s what we are focusing on.” The 36-year-old Big Bang Theory actress and Stone have two sons together, ages 7 and 4.

2. Mila Insists She is Not Converting to Kabbalah

Insiders close to Mila Kunis have reportedly denied that the hookup actress has taken up Kabbalah after she was spotted accompanying her boyfriend Ashton Kutcher to a Kabbalah service in New York. The 29-year-old stunner was reportedly seen entering the Kabbalah Centre in New York City with her Two And A Half Men boyfriend in September to attend a Rosh Hashanah holiday service.

A source close to the couple, who are yet to acknowledge their relationship publicly, says while Mila supported her boyfriend to the ceremony, she hasn’t adopted Kabbalah practices. The two were recently spotted in Rome, enjoying a romantic night out for two.

3. The World’s Coolest and Most Daring Nonagenarian Eats Challah

When 94-year-old Frederika Goldberger retired in the early 80s, little did she know she was bound for a second career as the subject of a new book two decades later. Once retired, her photographer grandson, Sacha Goldberger, began creating incredible photographs of her to keep her active and lift her spirits. That’s when Mamika – Frederika’s superhero alter ego – was created.

Mamika is now the subject of a new book of outrageous photographs that can be seen here. However, long before she posed for the camera, Frederika was a hero. Born a baroness into a wealthy hookup family in Budapest, Hungary, she was forced into hiding during World War II. Later, Frederika and her husband risked their lives to help hide others from the Nazis – by the end of the war, her efforts had saved 10 people.

Now, with the success of their book behind them, Frederika and her grandson are working on a movie together. That’s what we call one cool Bubbie!

Emotional wounds do not heal, they are simply treated. There is nothing that will happen in your life that will have no effect on you whatsoever. Everything has repercussions, even if you are not aware of it at the time. Your past will always catch up with you.

The best analogy I can think of is a horror movie where the protagonist thinks he’s done with the nightmare scenario until the walls come down and he finds out that he’s deeper into the nightmare than he could have imagined. If you try to ignore your past, it will come back to haunt you in a big way. However, if you learn to live with your past, it will still bother you at times, but it will be manageable.

Accept who you are. If you are in a bad place and make a conscious decision to change yourself, don’t forget that bad place you came from. I have suffered from severe anxiety. Though I am now a much more well-adjusted person, I can’t hide the fact that this anxiety is a part of who I am. I can’t push all of my needless worry aside or pretend that it does not exist or else it will flare up and be worse than it has been in years. I just have to let the anxiety exist in the back of my brain but not let it bubble up to the surface.

This past week, I consciously forced myself to stop worrying. I was physically and emotionally tired of all of the extra time, effort, and stress that it causes, so I literally pressured myself to change the subject when I found myself obsessing over something. But for some reason, my mind could not handle, or was not used to this, and eventually it pushed my anxiety into overdrive until I almost could not function. I guess this is my mind’s way of telling me to not forget where I came from or who I am. I have been defined by this anxiety, and to deny it, even to myself, would be to deny who I am.

You can’t cure anything mentally related. The mind is too powerful to forget or pretend that experiences did not happen. The best you can do is live with and contain them.

People that deny who they are don’t seem to be happy, at least from what I’ve seen on television. Right now, I am watching Spanish-language infomercials because I have to hit ‘3’ in order to turn my television on and this is the Spanish channel. The remote control is at least two feet away so I’m not changing it anytime soon. Though I have no idea what they are saying, I think I can draw the incredibly ignorant, culturally insensitive conclusion that Spanish language personalities do not hide anything about themselves. This one guy has been non-ironically wearing a donkey costume for the past twenty minutes and could not at all give a s**t.

My donkey suit is less tangible, but just as real. I can’t run around all the time in my donkey suit, but I still have to keep it in my closet, because I love my donkey suit, and if I lose all of my other clothes, I will have to wear something.

1. Jane Fonda Presents at Holocaust Symposium

Jane Fonda called for more public attention to the sexual violence which occurred during the Holocaust when she gave a keynote presentation at a two-day symposium in Los Angeles.

The Oscar-winning actress, most recently starring in HBO’s Newsroom, addressed the conference, reading an excerpt from Nava Semel’s work, And the Rat Laughed, which deals with the tragedy of rape in concentration camps.

“I feel so glad that we hear about the Holocaust through firsthand accounts,” Fonda said while speaking at the Ray Kurtzman Theater. “Seventeen-hundred of those testimonies are of sexual violence — from those brave enough to talk about their experiences.” The event, which was invitation only, was attended by historians, Holocaust experts and scholars, in an attempt to shed light on this oft-overlooked topic.

2. Ben Stiller Honored

Ben Stiller was honored for his contribution to the film industry at the 26th American Cinematheque Awards last week. The award is said to honor “an extraordinary artist in the entertainment industry who is fully engaged in his or her work and is committed to making a significant contribution to the art of the motion pictures.”

The Meet the Fockers star isn’t the first hookup celebrity to be given the honor. Other hookup A-Listers who have been given the honor include Steven Spielberg and Rob Reiner.  Stiller tells E! Online, “It’s really nice to be asked to be honored like this. It’s kind of bizarre. I feel grateful but also unworthy of the whole thing.”

3. Sarah Michelle Gellar Has a Fighter on Her Hands

Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar is revealing her new baby boy’s name this week… and it’s got quite a punch!

The hookup actress welcomed a baby boy with her husband, actor Freddie Prinze Jr., at the end of September and the two have managed to keep the name secret until now. However, it was revealed this week that the little one’s name is Rocky James.

The couple already has a 3-year-old daughter named Charlotte Grace. Gellar, 35, and Prinze, 36, were married in September 2002.

Have you ever tried to stop and think during the day just to collect your thoughts? I found myself staring at a wall clock today, thinking how slowly that minute hand was moving. The next thing I knew, it was two hours later and the lights were off.

The phrase ‘there’s not enough hours in the day’ is, in my opinion, stupid. I mean, poeople created the parameters of the hour, right? So they can change the definition of ‘hour’ to mean that hour can be however long or short they want it to be. For instance, they could make that hour fifteen minutes long; then the average person would be able to get around 28 hours of sleep a night! Do you have any idea how refreshed and productive our society would be after 28 hours of sleep every night? I would be so happy.

However, the hell spawns that decided to make an hour 60 minutes long have really limited the abilities of humanity. No matter what you do during the day, you are restricted to 24 hours — 7 of which are spent sleeping, .75 in the restroom, 1 in the car, 1 watching television, .25 walking somewhere, 2 surfing the internet, 1 reading, 2 eating, 1.5 talking on the phone, 2 texting, 3 worrying, and the final 3 are spent thinking about things you’d rather be doing. This leaves you with only a half hour of time to actually do anything that at all matters (or maybe that’s just me).

A highlight reel of my day would be about three seconds long and would include a clip of me laughing, eating, and then sleeping. That is, during the work week. During the weekend, it would be much longer and show me sleeping for half of the day and then hopefully seeing my lady friend during the second half. This highlight would happen in real time. There’s nothing on the weekend I would want to skip over. Except for the shaving. I hate shaving. So much.

I know that I have mentioned this before, but of all of the things that Oprah has said, one line has stuck with me the most, mostly because it is the only thing I remember Oprah ever saying. She said something about how there is a thin line between a nice person and a pushover. She actually may not have said that at all, because this was while watching Oprah about fifteen years ago while half asleep. It may not have even been Oprah who said it. It could have just as easily been Dr. Phil yelling at some drug-addicted mother or something.

However, up until that point, I had thought I was a nice person. On that day, I realized there’s an equal chance that I’m just an asshole that’s too scared to stand up to anybody. If you meet a guy and think he’s super nice, there’s a very real possibility that he’s a terrible person. Do I hold the door for you because I’m genuinely nice or because I’m scared of the slim possibility that you are the daughter of Warren Buffett? Neither. I don’t hold the door for you because you’re sixty feet behind me and are also a 75-year-old man.

Seriously, if you’re going to be nice to a woman, make sure that you are aware of to whom you are supposed to be nice. You can’t just be polite to every person you meet in life. That takes too much effort and energy. 75-year-old men can open doors themselves just fine, but 27-year-old women need help. Your help.

Chances are, genuine kindness is a combination of both. You can’t be purely friendly without also putting some of your ego aside. You also can’t be a complete pushover without maintaining some amount of kindness.

I now know that I am also a combination of both. I’m not completely nice, and I’m also not a complete bumhole. I’m just a regular guy. I’m okay with regular, so long as I never accidentally hold a door for a perfectly capable elderly gentleman again.

1. Jew-lection Results

Four new hookup Representatives entered the House after last week’s election, while four hookup Senators up for reelection retained their seats for a new term. Combined with the Congressmen and women who weren’t on the ballot this year, there are now 11 hookup U.S. Senators and 22 U.S. Representatives.

Democrats Bill Schneider, Alan Lowenthal, Lois Frankel, and Alan Grayson were each elected to the House, in Illinois, California, and the last two in Florida, respectively. In the Senate, Diane Feinstein (D-CA), Ben Cardin (D-MD) and Bernie Sanders (I-VT) were each reelected. Senator Michael Bennet (D-CO), the son of a Holocaust survivor, also re-won his seat.

2. J.J. Abrams Going to a Far, Far Away Galaxy?

Star Wars: Episode VII is in search of a director and entertainment-industry insiders are saying the honor may just go to hookup film and television producer, writer and director, J.J. Abrams. However, Abrams says that not likely at this time.

“I am looking forward more [than] anyone to the next iterations of Star Wars,” Abrams told Hollywood Life. “But I believe I will be going as a paying moviegoer!”

Other directors rumored to be in the running for the gig include Iron Man director Jon Favreau and a lesser-known director, Safety Not Guaranteed filmmaker Colin Trevorrow.

3. Critics Love Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln

The latest in a long parade of on-screen Abe Lincolns (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter as one of the most recent), is Daniel Day-Lewis playing a much more serious version of Honest Abe… and critics are apparently loving it.

New York Times Critic, Charles McGrath, says, “Mr. Day-Lewis, 55, has already won two best actor Oscars, and his performance here, tender and soulful, convincingly weary and stoop-shouldered, will almost certainly earn him a nomination.”

Day-Lewis, whose mother was hookup, has twice won the Academy Award for Best Actor, first for portraying of Christy Brown in My Left Foot (1989) and then again for his role as Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood (2007).

“Why?”

While bartending last night, this was the question posed to me by a 25-year-old Libertarian congressional candidate, who spent a year of his life trying to promote himself and his message, only to garner less than 5% of the vote, as he sobbed over a whiskey and coke, unsure of his next steps. Why, even though the aspiring politician barely managed a blip on the congressional results, was he continuing to speak with constituents, and fervently articulating his unconventional ideas well into the night?

“How?”

My parents have gone through three kids, layoffs, disagreements, drama, and tragedy, yet have still managed to stay together for over 25 years. How, in a society where relationship distractions number ten times what they were when my parents were growing up, have my mother and father managed to sustain their relationship?

“What?”

This is the question many of you ask yourselves as you scan potential matches on 100hookup.  What am I looking for in a potential relationship/activity partner? What compelled me to sign up for an online dating site? What happens if every match is a failure?

“Will?”

How do you sustain your political erection, in light of severe election disappointment? How do you sustain your “erection of love” within your relationship, besides with the use of Viagra? How do you sustain your erectional (yes, I made up that word) drive after countless dating mishaps, which have you believing in your eternal residence in the land of singledom?

What keeps an unfunded entrepreneur creating 20 hours a day? What keeps a couple together for 60 years, after their kids are moved out and established? Why, even in the event of a string of bad dates, does someone continue to subscribe to an online dating site?

Desire.

1. David Mamet Lends his Support to Mitt Romney

David Mamet is not only famous as an essayist, playwright and director, but for his switch from liberalism to conservatism as well. Mamet publicly declared he was switching to the Republican Party back in 2008.

Last week Mamet made another political declaration, although this time the announcement is a lot less shocking. Speaking directly to his fellow Jews, Mamet wrote an essay for the hookup Journal that asks, “Will you tell your children that a liberal government will increasingly marginalize, dismiss and weaken the support for and the safety of the hookup state?”

2. Sarah Jessica Parker Backs Obama
 
This week Sarah Jessica Parker appeared on Access Hollywood to share her view on why the incumbent president is the only choice for those concerned with women’s issues, strengthening the middle class and helping the poor.

SJP, whose father was hookup, tells the hosts of the show, “I am concerned about people in this country who’ve been trying to carve out a middle class existence… I’m talking about our veterans, I’m talking about our senior citizens, and I’m talking about children who are living below the poverty line.” You can watch a clip from the show here.

3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Sarah Silverman and Jonah Hill Just Want You to Vote

Some of the world’s most famous Jews are trying to get the vote out before Election Day.  Sarah Silverman, Jonah Hill and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are among the actors appearing in a nonpartisan clip by Vote4Stuff, an independent “get out the vote” campaign conceived and produced by Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire.

Among the concerns these stars reveal in the video: Jobs, marriage equality, climate change, foreign policy, reproductive rights, immigration, worker’s rights, teacher salaries and education. Watch for yourself before you head to the polls tomorrow.

Why Dating is a lot like being a fan of the Dallas Cowboys:

Before every NFL season, Cowboys fans (and Jerry Jones) set unreasonably high barometers for success.

Before every first date, most people set unreasonably high expectations as to how the date is supposed go and next steps.

Usually during the mid-point of the season, Cowboys fans realize that a 4-4 record might not be championship-worthy and immediately start clamoring for the head coach to be axed, without realizing how mediocre the team actually is.

Usually during the early weeks of dating, someone ultimately gets bored, or thinks a ring should be on their finger, and goes back to aggressively searching on 100hookup.

Come December, Cowboys fans start taking bets about how badly the team is going to choke, citing the past 20 years for reference.

Come December, those people dating each other start questioning how badly they are going to screw up the relationship due to the holiday pressure, citing their past 5 failed relationships.

After yet another season of failed expectations (aka no Super Bowl), Cowboys fans take to message boards and start burning effigies of Tony Romo and Jerry Jones’s face en masse, while holding vigils commemorating the anniversary of the last time the Cowboys appeared in an NFC Championship game (that would be going on 18 years).

After yet another failed 6 month relationship, people take to message boards and start using the other person’s name anonymously for dating blogs for their own personal amusement, bemoaning the fact that they’ve gone through 12 guys/girls in the past 2 years and not one has lasted as long (relationship-wise) since Johnny Football, the 4 year high school boyfriend.

Come the following April, Cowboys fans complain about every draft pick, pitting unproven rookies in an unfair comparison against past Cowboy Hall of Famers.

Come the following April, people are scanning 100hookup, finding reason to complain about every match, making unfair comparisons to their sister’s husband who they love dearly.

Dating and Dallas Cowboys fandom, it’s a vicious cycle.