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In today’s blog, “Online dating advice I hate,” I would like to discuss those that provide advice which encourages online daters to act the same way with every person they attempt to date.

How many articles have you read where some expert says to just do this, this, and this, and you will be guaranteed to succeed!

The truth is, not all of us are born in the same mold and we are far from carbon copies of each other.  The many principles of what needs to be done hold true.  Learning how to properly build attraction, push past competition, generate interest, etc.

However, within these broad principles there are certain intricacies that must be adapted to whomever you are trying to pick up.  For example, teasing a woman about her looks if she is not the greatest looking women will come off as rude and offensive, and possibly hurtful.   However, teasing a beautiful women about her looks may generate attraction, create a chase, and generate more interest.   Each woman is unique and your comments must be adapted to their specific characteristics as well as their innate personality traits.

Remember, if there is one thing that you don’t want to do when it comes to online dating, its spam generic conversations to every girl out there.

So don’t listen to all of these so called experts that inform you to behave and act in universal ways with every girl.  Learn the philosophies that work than tailor your game more specifically in order to be highly effective.

Why are these women so rude!

Sometimes online dating can give a false perception of how all the women out there truly are.  Let’s face it; many women often come across as rude, and sometimes even mean, when men try to pick them up online.

Why do they come off this way?  The answer is usually because many of these women are being bombarded with upwards of 50 emails a day.  It’s nearly impossible for some of these women to write back to every guy in a way that is “nice.”  This results in many emails or instant messages either getting completely ignored, or short responses that are intended to let the male down easy.

Unfortunately, many guys out there fail to realize this and do not always take the lack of response well.  Many guys will even lash out and accuse the women of being just plain rude or mean.

Instead of assuming a girl is rude or mean, find ways to approach women that will ignite  interest and curiosity, allowing you to push away all the competition out there and be first in line for a response.  Finding the proper way to open is your best way to improve your responses and have a completely effective online pick up.

Today I would like to discuss a skill that online daters often neglect within their day-to-day interactions.  The skill involves preparing with transitions that can be used within an online conversation.

A transition is the concept of following up your initial conversation opener with something interesting to keep the conversation going.    Although most people do not worry about this aspect of online dating, being unprepared leaves you in a potentially vulnerable position. 

Many people often start up an Instant Messaging conversation, only to find themselves quickly running out of things to say.  This can blow up in the person’s face and destroy a potential match. 

Instead, take the time to read the profile and come up with a bunch of things that you will plan on saying.  Or, develop transitional material that those of us who are advanced at online dating always come armed with. 

Whatever you do, do not fall into the trap of resorting to boring small talk!  This often means two words:  GAME OVER.

In the last blog I discussed the concept of using a context opener with your potential date.  A context opener is when you open up a conversation relating to something that has to do with what is currently occurring in every day life or pop culture at the moment.

Today I am going to discuss a different type of opener – “Humor Openers.” A humor opener is just how it sounds.  Opening up the conversation in a way that invokes a laugh and a potentially humorous conversation.

Why do we want to sometimes open the conversation in this manner?  Most women simply become bored after they have been online dating and, after a while, being opened up with the same questions over and over again.  This translates to one word: BORING. 

Women want to laugh, be entertained and know that they will have fun if they eventually go on a first date.

Using a humor opener will raise eyebrows, instantly peak interest and have women give you that opportunity you are looking for.  Once the opportunity is given, it is up to you to keep the conversation going, which is why you should always be prepared with a transition.  In my next blog I will teach you the art of transitioning the conversation.

What is a context opener?

Many people often seek online dating help from me in relation to how they should approach women online.  Opening up is half the battle and sometimes this can be very difficult to do.  In order to successfully attract and peak a women’s interest we must survive the initial screening process of the opener.  If this is not done successfully we may, unfortunately, never get to the point where our personalities are able to shine through.

While there are tons of ways that women can be approached, one method is to use a context opener.  A context opener is not always easy to think of, but when used properly they can be highly effective.

Definition of a context opener:  Opening by using something that specifically pertains to what is occurring in the moment, in society at the time, or in pop culture.

An example of this might be something we previously discussed in my Valentine’s Day blog.  Using a context opener pertaining to this situation would involve making a joke, comment, or using a conversation starter that specifically relates to this day.  This is providing a conversation starter that is in context with what is going on in the world around you.

By doing so you will avoid the generic and boring emails that many women receive, and make yourself current, up to date, and original.  So the next time you are wondering how to open, try one of these.  You may just find yourself having plenty of success.

In the previous blog I discussed the potential benefits that Valentine’s Day can bring to the online dating world.  Despite the fact that the media bombards us with messages that make us feel lonely and almost ashamed of being single on this day, Valentine’s Day will always be full of thousands of singles logged into 100hookup.com just dying to meet someone new.  Online daters will more likely be more open than ever to meeting someone on a day like this.

As a follow up to this online dating help, I would like to propose the idea of going out for one night only.  Why?  This is a dream day for those of you that fear approaching men or women out in public.  Most men and women have approach anxiety due to fear of rejection.  However, on this day, if there is one thing that we know for absolute certain, it is that any men and women whom are out without a significant other are single.  This is a great time to approach, without fear, and practice all the online dating skills that you have been working so hard to perfect.

Use openers that pertain to the situation such as starting up a conversation along the lines of:

“So my friend wouldn’t come out tonight because he/she thinks it’s embarrassing to go out without a date on Valentine’s Day.  Do you think he is right because I think it is just ridiculous?”  (People love opinion openers when out at bars etc).

Be sure to ask this to the entire group, not just the girl/guy you are interested in.

Does this mean forget 100hookup?  Absolutely not.  But a little real world practice never hurts every now and then in order to prepare ourselves for when we do find that special someone online.  So get out there, practice and enjoy the single life!

As I mentioned in the blog entry, I am going to be varying up my entries a bit more and taking a slight break from my discussion of attraction building techniques.  Do not worry because they will be back in the future.

Today I want to get into a new topic I will be writing about on a fairly consistent basis and that is online dating advice that makes me rage.   In these blog entries I will be referring to online dating advice that I see all over the internet, hear on the radio, or watch on television that requires some top notch anger management coping skills.

Today’s Online Dating Advice that Makes me Rage:  Being Realistic

This is something I hate to hear more than anything.  I can’t tell you how many times I have seen so-called professionals tell men that they have to be realistic about what they can achieve through online dating.  These alleged professionals are making these statements with the implication that not all men are good looking enough to get women of high beauty, or that not all men can learn the skills to becoming completely successful with any woman at online dating.

This is all completely false, completely irresponsible advice and only shows a complete lack of understanding when it comes to knowing about the female mind.  Anyone who has read my online dating guide knows that, in order to be truly successful, one must learn the female mind because it gives you access to winning any women over no matter what you look like.

So my advice to all you “professionals” out there:  Learn how to be successful with women before you tell others what they can’t do.

It has been just about three months since I began writing for 100hookup and I thought this would be a great time to take a break from my attraction building series to reflect on my experiences here, as well as discuss the future of this blog.

Since starting this blog I have increasingly come across more people finding me on 100hookup, Facebook, and other mediums informing me that they are enjoying the online dating advice I am providing.  For that I would like to say thank you, but make no mistake; I am not writing this blog to give myself a pat on the back.

The reason I am writing this blog is to once again open up the blog to suggestions from new readers.  When I first started this blog I asked readers what they would like to know about and to write in with suggestions.  However, at the time I was new and still largely unknown to 100hookup members.  Now that I am receiving emails from 100hookuprs® on a consistent basis  about this blog, I would like to once again open the floor to all 100hookuprs on topics you would like to learn or read about.  So feel free to send me any suggestions you may have or anything you would like to learn about.

I will also be continuing my attraction building series in the future, however, I have decided to space out the attraction building blogs to give the blog some more variance.  For those of you who were enjoying these entries, and according to the feedback frommany of you, do not worry. They will be back in the future, so stay tuned! 

And for those of you who want to contact me with any suggestions at all, please keep commenting!!

Today we will continue our series on building attraction with one of the most important aspects that you could ever learn to develop – Self-Confidence.

One of the things I discovered while writing my online dating book was that self-confidence is a huge attraction builder; bigger than most people realize, in fact.  Ask any woman what they find most attractive about a man and self-confidence is always one of their top three answers.

Why is self-confidence so important?

High self-confidence is scientifically proven to make women more attracted to males.  They are wired this way and cannot help it. Think about how many times you have seen a so-so looking guy with a beautiful woman.   Often times these guys have tremendous self-confidence.

Some theorize the reason women are attracted to this is evolutionary; that women are wired to men who seem the most capable as a survival mechanism.  Others will argue that the reasons are largely social.  Whatever the reason, showing a ton of self-confidence gives women a lot of reasons to be interested in you:

• You are showing that you are someone with a ton of value (another attraction builder).   If you act like you are great, women will wonder why you are acting this way and assume there is something special about you.

• You are showing that you are someone that women who date you can bring anywhere without worrying about the social implications.

• You are showing you will be someone that is fun, entertaining, and has the ability to take control.  Women want someone that is strong and confident which ties into our alpha male attraction building in a previous blog entry.

For all these reasons, do whatever it takes to build up your self-confidence.  In my next blog we will discuss ways to do so.

In my last blog post I discussed the importance of using humor to build attraction when meeting women online.   This is something that I write a tremendous amount about in my online dating guide and should not be underestimated.  Last time we talked about all of the reasons it is important and today we will discuss exactly how to use humor to your advantage.

Allow me to start out by saying this: All humor is good humor as long as it is not completely juvenile and makes the girl laugh.  You can’t go wrong with making someone laugh.  However, the best humor to build attraction with is humor that is both slightly cocky and funny at the same time.  In addition, we want to be playful and flirtatious.

An example of how to act cocky and funny might be:

“You better ask me for my phone number soon; don’t you know there are fifteen women on the waiting list right now on 100hookup for me? =P”

Notice how this statement incorporates humor, but is also playful, slightly flirtatious, implies that we are in demand and encourages good conversation back.  You may notice that a few other attraction builders that I previously talked about have been simultaneously hit on.

Whatever you write about, keep it playful and show lots of confidence.  If you need help with humor, hang around funny people, watch comedians and practice.  Exposing yourself constantly to humor will make you funnier.  I am out of time for this blog.  In my next blog we will move on to our next attraction builder: self-confidence.