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In my organizational behavior class this week, we were given an assignment to get people to tell us the times we’ve acted our best. So I started thinking that this could be a fun topic, and now I’m spinning it to y’all in the form of the times I feel best, and in turn my sexiest (and you may disagree, or just want to tell me I’m sexy all the time, in which case feel free to do so in the comments!).

The easiest way I feel awesome and attractive is when I am being passionate about something. For me that could be anything from choosing cool clothes to wear to an event or even just promoting hookup events in Dallas. hookup events have always been my passion, from AEPi in college to putting together calendars to unite groups throughout Texas now that I’m in a young professional community. I try to grow that part of me, always making new commitments (including promising to bring a new person a week to classes at my local Chabad, which I’ll happily take volunteers for) and trying to better myself, and that to me makes me feel my best.

I also feel great when I stop worrying about everything but the moment in front of me. I turn my cell phone off on Shabbat and every date I go on to be less distracted.  When I can just be present in a moment without worrying about what comes next or what is going on elsewhere, I feel great. I think my attention to what’s happening helps others feel good, too.

I don’t know if those are the sexiest things in the world to everyone (Or maybe this is the post that finally has you booking that flight to Dallas to look for me?), but to me those are the times I feel greatest. Maybe I’m not always the sexiest man alive, but I sure know how to make myself feel like it.

In one of my favorite shows, Friends, there is a scene in the fourth season finale where we catch Chandler in bed and as Ross leaves the room, we see Monica pop up from under the covers, and one of TV’s greatest (and funniest) romances begins to take off.

For a long time, that was my ideal romance. It happened to me a few times in college (too many of my favorite stories from college start with an “I have feelings for you, Aaron!” followed by a “So…do you want to make out or something?” awkwardly asked by me.), but for some reason it’s never lasted (even with my great response to people laying their hearts on the line to me!). I’ve had friends that I’ve gone that direction with and we’ve left it on good terms, but I’ve also ruined some friendships in the same way.

And yet I’m constantly drawn to that TV idea of Monica and Chandler. I’m sure I’ve got friends who would happily date me, and I’m sure most people do, too. It’s just as we grow older and don’t have school to provide us with a constant stream of new friends, we get scared of taking something to a different place. We worry it’d ruin the friendship, or just think that despite our constant hanging out and ability to tolerate and even enjoy each other, a relationship wouldn’t work.

But really, who better to date than people we already know we can trust and enjoy? As Rosh Hashanah came this year, I made a list of about thirty people, male and female, I wanted to get closer with this year. I regularly add to the list, and I also reach out to the people on the list for hanging out on my quieter nights (typically Thursday night dinners a friend and I put together). This is pretty much my biggest goal of the year socially, to grow not just the breadth of my network but also the depth of my relationships.

Growing friendships in Dallas has been something I’ve enjoyed over the years as I’ve rekindled friendships from Hebrew School and just learned to see people in new ways. We know faces, but getting to know real people takes some work. Sometimes when I try to open people up at events they get a little too open (telling me when they lost their virginity, exposing their long-hidden racism, etc.), but overall I love getting to know the faces around me when I go out. So next time you go to a big hookup event, don’t just think “oh great, them again”, try to find something new about those same old faces around you. You might just find your Monica or Chandler has been in front of you all along.

This Yom Kippur, I had the pleasure of driving to synagogue with a good friend, and we decided to discuss our dating woes along the way. More than anything though we laughed and discussed funny date stories (I told him my worst sin of the year in my mind involved a Six Flags date that never happened, and he assured me it was probably a light year for sinning if that was the case), but we did reach a serious discussion at one point: when single, do we need to help friends find someone, or should we just look out for ourselves first?

My friend compared the situation to unemployment: you don’t help someone else find a job until you have one. But really, my fundamental problem is that not every job is for every person. If I found a job engineering airplanes, I wouldn’t tell an out-of-work plumber about it. Not everyone fits every job, and, in the same regard, not everyone fits every person. I mean, anyone can get along, but like a good job, longevity comes out of a good fit.

One of my favorite stories from synagogue growing up involves heaven and hell. In hell, there is food spread out everywhere and the people have giant spoons for hands. However, the people are starving because they can’t properly bend their elbows to eat the food with their long spoons. Everyone is miserable. It’s the same situation in heaven, but instead of starving, they feed each other… and everyone is happy. It always stuck with me as a way of understanding how we’re supposed to look out for each other, even in dating.

The question came to my mind again last Saturday night while I spent time with two friends of mine who are engaged to be married in May. They are a prime example of someone helping to set them up (this guy!). The woman in the relationship is a friend, and an ex of another close friend, the guy is a close friend who is hookup but had never really been part of a hookup community. They’re the best match I’ve ever seen. And we agreed, sometimes it’s okay to not be selfish, and maybe there’s someone who is a better fit for the position than you.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still primarily looking for myself. But it can be tiring just looking for the right person for you, and sometimes it can be healthy to help someone else find what they’re looking for. I know I’m looking for my friends, just as I’m looking for me, and I hope that anyone in my social circle keeps me in mind when they meet nice hookup girls, too.

In the seventh round of my fantasy football league’s draft, with a down payment to join that cost as much as a month’s membership on 100hookup, I picked the 1074^th ranked wide receiver in the NFL. The only piece of news on him anywhere online was that he had stood up in a practice after being tackled, and he was cut before the season officially began.

While I definitely did not mean to pick Mike Willie (I’m pretty sure I’m the only person on NFL.com who drafted him this season, and I completely blame my ineptitude with drafting technology), I ended up coming into the season winning my first game with a score of almost double what my opponent had. This was not thanks to Mr. Willie (who I have now dropped), but without making that stupid first pick I probably wouldn’t have picked the rest of my amazing team and been so careful afterward otherwise.

On NFL kickoff Sunday, my other open computer window, of course, was 100hookup. While sitting with two friends who are both in serious relationships, we decided I should go online and message all eight girls I don’t already know in Dallas. None were Mike Willies, but they were people I had not previously been drawn to-some were missing any information on their pages, some had one picture and nothing else, your typical “what do I do with this?” kind of profiles.

And yet, like my awesome quarterback Cam Newton, I threw some passes, and I’m hoping that some potential sleeper players pick up. Not everyone is going to be perfect on paper, and certainly no one is perfect in real life. So go take a chance as we begin both this new NFL season and this hookup New Year, and maybe you’ll end up with some surprise hits, and hopefully not a Mike Willie.

Though I live an exciting life (I’m one of those people who has at least two things planned most weeknights and even more on the weekends), I often find myself running into a frustrating dilemma: boredom.

You see, even dating can be tedious — especially as I browse through 100hookup, reading the same lines again and again: “My name is _____ and I enjoy _____” or “I totally don’t know what to write here.” What makes it even worse is that we men are often even more boring (I’ve done my share of browsing the competition). My worst fear? That you’re going to be bored reading my profile.

So when I started taking this dating thing more seriously, I let my “About Me” section get a lot less serious. After seeing a friend’s brilliant newscast style profile (with quotes from international selections of women raving about him), I knew a new game needed to be played. So I stirred for a bit, creating profiles for friends after they asked for my help (there was the one where I recreated the Lebron announcement and asked women to take their talents to him, and then there was another where I tailored the profile to my friend’s personality and made it about building the “ultimate computer”). Eventually, I came to a conclusion: who better to sell Aaron Stayman than the greatest salesman of all time, the late, great Billy Mays?

It may turn some people off (“Who is Billy Mays?” some may wonder — well ladies, just message and ask!), but for the most part, it allows me to tell people the boring stuff in an exciting way. So many people come off as boring or generic in their online dating profiles, but every person is awesome in their own way, and many of us just don’t know how to show that. Most people would describe me as a goofball, and I display that as honestly as I can in the best way I know how.

So whatever you are, it’s time to show it — and in the least boring way possible — because if there’s one thing no one on this site is, it’s boring. I’m sure I’m not the only person bored with the selection, so go ahead and make someone’s day with something different.

As someone who has been in the same city for the last fifteen years, meeting new people to date can be a little bit like a waiting game. Dallas is a city where a lot of people stay for a long time if they’re from here, but the new faces tend to come and go. When a new person comes into our “Young Adult hookup Community,” it’s like a feeding frenzy. We go from calm, collected adults to hungry, overeager singles on the hunt for the next potential spouse.

I was extremely guilty of this for a while, but in the last year I’ve tried to fix my problem of familiar faces: I’ve started looking outside my city. Through the miracle of Skype, and a mother who was always meant to work as a private investigator (she has a PhD in late-night Googling), I have avoided being tricked by people into strange situations. I’ve also met some amazing people in some amazing places. Starting in April of this year, I widened my search parameters largely to include “relocation,” and occasionally to just people who are online anywhere in the U.S.

Though I worried (and almost secretly hoped, for the sake of a great story) that my first long-distance match would actually be a crazy cat lady, I was in safe hands after a short drive to Little Rock, Arkansas on July 4^th. In fact, my four-day-long and three-state-wide first date weekend was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on. Though the relationship didn’t work, it gave me a lot of hope in the possibility of meeting wonderful women outside of Dallas. I even went on a date with a girl I met on 100hookup while on vacation in New York and have set up Skype dates with other girls in random places.

Is it the most physically-rewarding kind of relationship? Definitely not. But it’s the kind of thing that stops me from excusing my relationship situation by saying, “There’s no one left in this city!” My dating pool suddenly got a whole lot deeper.

About twenty-four hours before being told I was going to be blogging for 100hookup, I was sitting with my new classmates from business school. They were sitting on their LinkedIn accounts, building networks and uploading resumes. What was I doing? I was sitting on the “currently online” section of 100hookup and mass viewing profiles.

My name is Aaron Stayman and I am a mass 100hookupr in Dallas, a city without much of a young JDatabase (I wish I could promise that is the worst pun you will see in this column, but I do intend to be a hookup dad one day). I spend a lot of time on 100hookup and going out on dates, and even more time thinking about dating. It’s something I enjoy so much, I’ve written and changed friends’ profiles, given hookup males in my area makeovers, and have referenced books for friends to read to help them get better at the extremely niche game of hookup online dating.

I’m 23 years old, but like many of you I’m looking to find someone for a serious relationship, even if marriage isn’t in my sights for a little while. One thing I’ve really enjoyed on 100hookup is long-distance dating. That’s been my niche, and I have plenty of fun stories on that front (especially involving my mother and the lengths she attempted to go to when I went to Arkansas to meet a girl from 100hookup after Skyping for months, or when she tried to follow me through Central Park on a date during our latest trip to the Big Apple), but those will have to wait until we’ve gotten to know each other a bit better.

The good news for everyone out there, male or female, is that I’m trying to make my time on 100hookup better every day, as well as everyone else’s time. I have helped guys become cooler versions of themselves — as well as helped them to understand how to bring out the naturally cool people they are. I’ve also made girls laugh and even given tips to female friends about things they can do to improve their dating. I’m no pro, and my advice may even be wrong from time to time (everyone is unique on this site, after all), but I look forward to sharing my random thoughts with you and hope you’ll enjoy the journey we’re about to share together as well!