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Apr 9

If You Won’t Talk About It, Don’t Do It

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships,Single Life

I had a mantra during my teenage years that if I couldn’t tell my Mom what I was doing, then I shouldn’t be doing it. My parents are fairly liberal, yet protective, so they had boundaries that would widen with honesty. If I would tell them I was going to a house party with no parents, their response was that if anyone was to drink — me included, of course — and needed a ride home, then I should call them. Pretty cool, eh?

The older I got, particularly once I moved out of their house, I stopped following this philosophy. I was in college, and then in my twenties, and I was having fun and living it up! My parents wouldn’t understand and I didn’t want to share, certain things are private… at least that’s what I told myself to excuse any behavior I knew they would deem unacceptable. That alone should have told me something, but, of course, I can only see that in hindsight.

If you can’t tell your parents (or at the very least, your friends) about it, then don’t do it. If you’re dating someone that you know your parents won’t like, then there’s probably a reason for it and you’ll figure that out after you get your heart broken, or get stood up, or wake up with your wallet missing. As hard as it is to accept and to say “you were right,” our parents have our best interests at heart. You shouldn’t be ashamed to share, that’s a red flag warning if there ever was one.

So if you’re considering going on a date with someone you’re unsure about, or you’re pondering whether to get serious with someone you don’t think the ‘rents will approve of, or you’re thinking about quitting your job to move to another city either for a mate or to find a mate, then have a heart-to-heart with your mom or dad (or another trusted confidant) and see what their opinion is, and what their instincts tell them; then take that into consideration before making any decisions.

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