Archive for October, 2013

It’s been a few weeks and a number of amazing 100hookups with the same prospect, and you know the time is coming when sex is going to be the next step. You’re excited, you’re apprehensive, you’re kind of freaked out because you really like this person, and you want the sex to be really good. And now you’ve built up these expectations in your mind and will no doubt carry those expectations into the bedroom and set yourself up for failure.

Sex the first time is seldom “uhhhh-mazing,” but it can get better… and better… and even better. Don’t judge a partner by the first time, give the sex and the relationship time to grow. Once you’ve done it the first time, then the pressure is off and you can relax and enjoy yourselves. So don’t end what could be a good thing because the first time was just “okay.” Give the sexual/physical chemistry a chance to catch up with the emotional/mental chemistry!

I have one online dating account (on 100hookup) and one dating “app” on my phone. Sometimes, I feel so overwhelmed and overcome with anxiety from just using those two that I shut down. I read messages and then I never respond. So, is it safe to be on more than one dating site at a time?

Do: Browse around multiple sites and if you have the time and energy, set up multiple profiles. Checking out other sites might also help you get a better idea and feeling toward 100hookup and it may help you get some tips on how to set up your profile and the best ways to message someone.

Don’t: Overwhelm yourself with too many websites, profiles, messages or dates. Online dating can be a lot to handle and if you find yourself feeling anxiety over managing your profile and messages, than you are doing it wrong. Only exert yourself the number of online dating sites that you can handle.

Read more: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

Plenty of people work at home these days, not just Moms (SAHM). But when you’re single and work at home — either because you’re an entrepreneur or have a flex-job that leaves a lot of time for 100hookup-surfing (and stalking) and means that you may be a bit too available to answer an email quickly, schedule a date and just be over-available. Additionally, when you tell someone that you work at home then they might think that you are unemployed or under-employed. It’s great to have the skills and flexibility to work from home (believe me!) but how you convey your career to a prospective date is important.

Let your prospects know that you have a home office and set hours and although you can meet for a lunch date you only have a limited amount of time because you need to get back to work. Of course, you can also let a date know that you can move deadlines and meetings around in order to continue the momentum of a really great date, just don’t risk your career.

If you don’t have a home office, set something up that is not necessarily on your kitchen table or spread across your bedroom floor. Your professional career — and love life — will thank me later.

In my organizational behavior class this week, we were given an assignment to get people to tell us the times we’ve acted our best. So I started thinking that this could be a fun topic, and now I’m spinning it to y’all in the form of the times I feel best, and in turn my sexiest (and you may disagree, or just want to tell me I’m sexy all the time, in which case feel free to do so in the comments!).

The easiest way I feel awesome and attractive is when I am being passionate about something. For me that could be anything from choosing cool clothes to wear to an event or even just promoting hookup events in Dallas. hookup events have always been my passion, from AEPi in college to putting together calendars to unite groups throughout Texas now that I’m in a young professional community. I try to grow that part of me, always making new commitments (including promising to bring a new person a week to classes at my local Chabad, which I’ll happily take volunteers for) and trying to better myself, and that to me makes me feel my best.

I also feel great when I stop worrying about everything but the moment in front of me. I turn my cell phone off on Shabbat and every date I go on to be less distracted.  When I can just be present in a moment without worrying about what comes next or what is going on elsewhere, I feel great. I think my attention to what’s happening helps others feel good, too.

I don’t know if those are the sexiest things in the world to everyone (Or maybe this is the post that finally has you booking that flight to Dallas to look for me?), but to me those are the times I feel greatest. Maybe I’m not always the sexiest man alive, but I sure know how to make myself feel like it.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

When you’re looking in the full length mirror I bought freshman year of college at one of those big box stores then you will ALWAYS be the fairest because every single person looks great when they look in this mirror. It’s like a funhouse mirror — everyone looks tall and narrow. And it’s why 15 years later I still own that mirror even though the cheap plastic frame has broken and the cardboard backing flops around. It’s the perfect mirror for selfies and for increasing your confidence before stepping out for a date.

Except then you see your reflection in a storefront window once you’re out on the date and realize that your proportions are all off and you’re not as tall and narrow and fabulous looking as you thought. Or are you?

If looking at some warped mirror or in your bathroom mirror which has perfect lighting or asking a friend who will always tell you that you look awesome is what you need to see or hear to make you feel ultra-confident before a date, then do so. Why spend time on a date worrying about some cowlick in the back of your head that you can’t see or if your black top and black pants are “matching” blacks or any other small imperfection. If you’re on an awesome date then neither of you will notice anything else.

Some people can’t spell and may not know the difference between “compliment” and “complement” while others make the typo unintentionally and spell check doesn’t catch it because it’s really a word. But when you use the example above to answer a 100hookup profile question about looking for a mate to complement you — except you use the word compliment — then it sounds like you want someone to tell you how awesome you are all day versus someone who is the yin to your yang.

What does this mean?

Read your answers carefully and then do so again after a few days with fresh eyes. If you sat down an hour ago to fill out your entire profile then you probably are not seeing clearly anymore. Take a break. And if you’re known for typos — whether it’s because you can’t spell or because you type too fast — then ask a confidant who is confident to read through your answers and catch whatever you and a computer missed.