Archive for October, 2013

Beer is, by its very nature, a depressant. So it should really amaze me that in the last two years, some of my best experiences have come from the very place in which I’m writing this piece, the Flying Saucer Draught Emporium.

You see, two years ago, I sat with my friend Josh and we decided to sign up to do the 200 beer challenge here, and I started off with a Blue Moon and Dos Equis. 198 unique beers later, I am about to celebrate with some friends who have been here since the beginning and some newer faces.

It’s amazing to me, the things we’ll celebrate. Literally anyone without an allergy to hops could complete this challenge. I haven’t run a marathon or cured some deadly disease, but we still find a reason to celebrate. My enormous intake of beer over the last two years is a new reason for everyone to get excited.

But for me, it’s really not about the beer. It’s about the experiences I have had with every beer. My memories involve my friends and family. Like the time my friend Lee and I spit up a non-alcoholic beer called Clausthaler Amber on a night we weren’t drinking alcoholic beers. Or the time my friend Roman ordered a Left-Hand Weaksauce and fell in love, only to have the bar sell out forever before he could order a second. Or the time Josh decided Big Sky Moose Drool was the most aptly named beer of all time.

Josh left for the IDF and is now back on leave, working again on his challenge. He’ll be here when I finish my 200^th beer tomorrow afternoon. The memories all come together, and the last two years have been some of the richest of my life as I’ve shared the beers with others (and even some days like today, when it’s just been me, a waitress, a computer and some nice cold beer). Maybe the next thing I celebrate will involve me doing something amazing, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m excited about the next round of 200.

What Would Jew Do?

There were some exciting commonalities within your 100hookup profiles and there was attraction and even some exciting email exchanges before meeting. But once you’re on your date you know almost instantly that it’s not meant to be. What’s a Jew to do?

You can either continue on the date but give off very platonic vibes and make it incredibly obvious that you’re not feeling your date as a romantic match but can enjoy their company on a friendship level and make sure to pay for yourself. Or, you can simply state that although you were very excited to go on the date that you “just know” this isn’t going to be a match but that since you’re already both dressed up and out on the town that you would be happy to continue enjoying each other’s company and get to know each other as friends and maybe think of other people to set each other up with or, if they’re not interested in doing so, then to just call it a night.

No matter which option you choose, treat your date with respect because they may not feel the same way as you… and one day you could be in their position.

What Would Jew Do?

You’re early on in a new relationship and run into your date’s last flame while out and about. The ex greets your flame very intimately with a kiss too close to his or her mouth, a hug that lingered a moment too long and overall just too touchy-feely. What’s a Jew to do?

First, take a deep breath and don’t pass judgment too soon. Your new prospect isn’t with his or her ex for a reason and their ex could either be still hung up on them or could be one of those people who doesn’t understand personal space. Give your beau a chance to explain and if you do ask any questions make sure to limit how many questions you ask and to control your tone as well as your facial expressions. As long as everything checks out, let it go and move on.

This week someone asked me, after going out on 3 dates with a new guy, how I felt about him. I couldn’t give her a straight answer. There was lack of interest or even passion on my part and I wasn’t even very excited to find out if he was going to text me. If that’s how I’m feeling after a 3rd date, it’s pretty clear what my answer to my friend should be.

Do: Treat love like you do books. When it gets boring, or too complicated, put it down. Skip to the end. Value your time, your emotion and your heart. Only let people in who are worth all three of those things.

Don’t: If by date #4, you’re questioning your interest in a person, call it quits. Don’t waste time letting something drag on that’s not meant to be—likewise, don’t force something that’s not meant to be.

Check out Jen’s new eBook “ALL MY FRIENDS ARE ENGAGED”.  Available now on Amazon or iTunes.

What Would Jew Do?

You’ve been 39 for a few years according to your 100hookup profile… or you’re in your early 50s but can easily pass for mid-40s so you calculate a fake birthdate… you do so hoping to attract a more suitable match but fail to recognize that eventually the truth will come out and the probability of ruining whatever relationship you’ve built will increase. What’s a Jew to do? It doesn’t matter how old or young you are or how great you look for your age or that no one ever believes your real age, it is best to be honest and sign up using your true birthdate and then taking some time to explain why your age range is what it is. If you really look that good then maybe it’s self-explanatory. Don’t spend too much time concentrating on it in your profile or in person because it will sound too much like you’re trying to convince or persuade someone to accept you when your sparkling qualities should do that on their own. Do to your age being higher than you may want to admit then you may have to make more of an effort to contact prospects whose age ranges you don’t fall into. Simply let them know that… I know I’m not the typical age of someone you’d normally go for, but I’m young at heart, super active, and luckily have great genes which help me look younger than my years and hopefully you can confirm all of the above yourself when we meet… or something along those lines. Embracing your age when your mind and body are younger is sexy!

When I walked out of that conference I talked about last week, I had a new found respect for myself. No job was currently in my hands, but with all the guidance I’d been given, I felt like I could get the job I wanted with some good research and practice. I felt confident as I headed back to Dallas.

I think the big difference in dating and careers is the way we approach both. You see a lot of career advice for getting the job – the assumption being you’re technically capable of keeping the job. With dating, it’s the opposite. We assume you can find people (through something such as a dating website), but keeping a relationship seems to be the problem in dating – look at our current divorce rate.

So what if you’re experiencing the opposite problem, and you can’t get into that relationship groove? In a job, they have to work with you once you’re hired, at least a little bit, since there is some form of binding contract. But when we’re free to be our own people, our necks are always on the line. To me, that is the big difference: with a job, so much is clear-cut. If you have an awesome elevator pitch, good interviewing skills, and an ability to network by talking to a few people at any event, you can get a job within a few months given the proper effort.

Dating, on the other hand, is a real fluid thing. There is no elevator pitch, no mock dating. There’s no perfect, one-size-fits-all first impression. And most importantly, who you are when dating is a reflection on the rest of your life, and that cannot be covered in just one or two days at a convention. Generic dating advice that blankets everyone may not specifically cover the real thing that’s stopping you. Maybe you’re an axe murderer and have a bad habit of murdering people, and that’s getting in the way of your relationships. I can guarantee you there is very little advice on how to stop murdering that either I – or anyone else on the 100hookup blog – will be giving out (though really, anything harmful to other people, in all seriousness, you should probably stop doing).

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, and you may be looking for someone a lot longer than you’re looking for your next job. But there is definitely hope. Dating coaches are out there, advice is out there, etc. But really, go out and learn to be a better you. Take some classes in something you’ve always wanted to do, go better yourself by exercising or going to school, or just do something that challenges you in general. I had a teacher who once told me “practice just makes permanent, not perfect.”  Only when we start to change what we’re doing can we find new things, and lucky for us, you don’t need to go to a convention to do that.

What Would Jew Do?

You’ve just been on an amazing first date with a 100hookup whom you really matched up with both online and in person. At the end of the night, the prospect invites you up for a nightcap (or a drink, or to continue talking, or to…) but you don’t know if you should accept the offer or not. What’s a Jew to do? If you accept the offer and there were sexual undertones that you didn’t expect then you may be sending the wrong signals and get yourself in a situation that you don’t want to be in — then again, now you know what type of person this date really is and you can dismiss the match as a dud. If you don’t accept, and the offer was purely innocent and not sexual then you might send the wrong signal that you’re the one not interested because you chose not to continue the date. Best bet is to very politely and charmingly turn down the offer and instead try to make plans to get together again right then and there. This way you are sending the right signals about the type of relationship you are looking for without having to reject your date.

What Would Jew Do?

So you’ve had The Talk and you may have even had The Test and now you’re being asked to do The Wait. It’s been weeks, perhaps months, you are in a committed relationship, you have proven yourself to be “healthy” and yet you still haven’t, shall we say, sealed the deal…. what’s a Jew to do? If you really like your significant other and see a future, then wait it out. It won’t be much longer. Better to show respect and continue getting to know each other without sex getting in the way, then to rush things to the point where you can’t distinguish why you do or don’t like someone. Plus, there are tons of other fun stuff to partake in the meantime (stuff that often gets pushed to the wayside once you do round home plate).

What Would Jew Do?

After many successful dates with a 100hookup prospect you have decided to have “The Talk” and to take the next step into a committed relationship. One of the topics that eventually comes up is sex — safe sex, unprotected sex and getting tested. In this day and age it’s a common and expected conversation to have with a current or future partner as you become more and more serious. Agreeing to get tested without argument is the best answer when being asked to do so- it shows you have nothing to hide. If you do have something to reveal then it is best to do it now while you’re having the talk and to be upfront and honest because your partner is going to find out eventually… this way it’s up to you to decide how.

It may feel as though every time you log onto Facebook, there’s some teary eyed announcement over someone you know getting engaged. The ring is shiny and the champagne is flowing, but there you are. Alone. Single. And upset.

Do: Find it in yourself to be happy for others around you. It will open up a place in your heart where you’ll feel inspired and motivated to go out and date. To meet new people and hopefully find love.

Don’t: Get hung up on seeing others around you get engaged. Love doesn’t have an age limit and you are certainly not behind—no matter your marital status. Focus on living and pushing yourself to try new opportunities and through that meet new people.

Also, check out my newly released eBook: All My Friends Are Engaged on Amazon + iTunes now:
https://www.amazon.com/All-My-Friends-are-Engaged-ebook/dp/B00FX9K3Y6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382049734&sr=8-1&keywords=JEN+GLANTZ