Archive for January, 2013

“Having a thousand different ladies is pretty cool, I’ve learned in my life. I’ve (also) found out that having one woman a thousand different times is more satisfying.” – Wilt Chamberlain

For those of you who are not sports fans, Wilt Chamberlain was a Hall of Fame basketball player famous for scoring 100 points in a game on March 2, 1962. He was also famous for his claim that he had sex with over 20,000 women over the course of his adult life.

While none of you are seven foot Hall of Fame centers who star in movies as Conan the Barbarian, have a giant penthouse in Honolulu, or will sleep with what amounted to 1.37 women per day, many of you have engaged in trysts similar to Chamberlain… usually called “casual sex” or “hooking up” or other variations on “sex without emotional attachment”.

Casual sex could come in many forms- from one night stands, to that two date lawyer who became the 2 A.M. make-out, to that friend who goes from your bi-weekly coffee date to a “hey, I’ve got some wine and sushi, wanna come over” text at 7 P.M. on a Wednesday night. It is a millennial dream in some respects: a simple text, a night of intimacy, friendship intact, with no title whatsoever. Convenience.

For some in our generation who are excellent multi-taskers, casual sex can translate into dalliances with multiple men/women, so long as they share the same goals as you. As the marriage age gets older, and society becomes more free in terms of dating and sexual constraints, more and more people, especially young adults, see this option as a feasible alternative until they do decide to marry.

With this in mind, does casual sex tend to change the way you date? Do you learn more about someone through casual sex, than you would by just going on a series of dates? As a 20 or 30- something would you prefer to find the person you want to spend your life with now, or would you rather swear by the adage of “taking multiple cars on a test drive, before buying one?”

You are on a great date with a great guy… he arrives bearing what is obviously a very expensive bouquet of flowers and takes you to an incredibly nice restaurant where he orders a pricey bottle of wine and encourages you to order a four course meal along with him. After paying for what can only be suspected as being a bill far into the triple digits, he takes you home and proceeds to kiss you good night. It was a perfect date. So why do you feel so cheap?

Is it because you’re a successful woman with a good career who has no problem paying for her own dinner or is it because you feel like you should be doing something in return? The man is probably — hopefully — considering it money well spent if it means another date with you and leading towards something more. If he wasn’t into you then the date would have consisted of the flowers (since he bought them and brought them before getting to know you) and a one course meal and no wine. If a man is trying to prolong the end of the date and is willing to shell out for it, then you shouldn’t feel cheap unless you didn’t like him from the get-go but allowed him to spend the big bucks anyway.

1. Gabby Giffords Visits with Sandy Hook Families

Gabrielle Giffords, the former member of Congress from Arizona who was gunned down at a Tucson shopping center two years ago, met privately last Friday with the families of the Sandy Hook school in Newtown, Connecticut where a school shooting took place last month.

Giffords, who is Arizona’s first hookup congresswoman, met with local officials at the municipal building in Newtown on Friday afternoon. She then went to visit with victims’ families at a private home later in the day.

“What drew her was the shared experience — our 26 victims and survivors, and what she experienced in Arizona,” Newtown First Selectman Pat Llodra told the Newtown Bee.

2. Bethenny Frankel Files for Divorce

Bethenny Frankel has filed for divorce from her husband Jason Hoppy. The former Housewife took the first step in ending her two-year marriage to Hoppy by filing a summons for divorce in New York City this month.

The hookup founder of “Skinnygirl®” isn’t shying away from discussing the divorce in public, recently Tweeting, “To those of you who are being supportive: thank you. To those of you who are judging: I totally get it.”

Frankel and Hoppy have a 2-year-old daughter together named Bryn.

3. Marissa Jaret Winokur Dishes the Skinny on Being Skinny

Marissa Jaret Winokur is happy to call herself a “loser” this week! That’s because the Hairspray actress lost a total of 60 pounds over the last seven months.

The 39-year-old hookup actress says her motivation was simple. “I did it for heath,” Winokur blogged for People.com. “I had a doctor’s appointment in April, and my cholesterol was high (220). My doctor mentioned I should lose some weight.”

Winokur told Us Weekly she thought she would try to lose 20 pounds and see what happened. “It was the little steps,” she said. “I think it worked because I was genuinely doing it for myself.”

After a break-up people are bound to ask what happened and it would probably be quite easy to talk shit about your ex. Don’t. Word will get around and not only will it get back to your ex but it also makes you look bad for doing the badmouthing. Rather, take the opportunity to take the higher road and just simply say “it didn’t work out” or “we grew apart” or “we decided to take a different path” or “we weren’t meant to be married” or anything else impartial and vague. It’s no one’s business. The hookup community in each city is small and you don’t want to be known as the person who airs their dirty laundry in public. If you don’t want to do it for your ex’s reputation, then do it for your own.

Everyone makes New Year’s resolutions, especially those who enjoy dating. At the beginning of each year, those single hopeless romantics create lists of 40-400 bullet points of what they are looking from in that dream hookup guy or girl, from the color of their eyes, to how they want to meet them, to their favorite sports teams. On that note, if any of you message me, and happen to be Washington Redskins fans, do not expect a response back, even if you do look like Natalie Portman.

With that in mind, here is Adam’s list of the 5 or so women I resolve to date in 2013.

1. Dianna Agron- I don’t watch Glee, but apparently she is in this show, according to my baby brother. I am not a vegetarian either, which Agron is, however I can look past that and see that she is a dancer, which will make our first date a two-stepping date, because honestly, two-stepping is like salsa for drunk people.
2. Amanda Bynes- Reports say she is “reevaluating” how to spend her social time. I am too, as I am considering pulling the plug on watching Dallas sports due to the pain it causes me. So Amanda, for our first date, let’s get a Venti Americano from Starbucks and watch She’s the Man.
3. Emmy Rossum- I am a sucker for girls with brown hair and brown eyes (wait, you mean every hookup girl?), and Rossum has it, as well as a cameo in my favorite Dragonball Z movie. She also happens to be a distant cousin of Vera Wang, and a singer of Christmas songs, so Emmy, what do you say we browse Bloomingdale’s to the tune of the new Cee Lo Green Christmas Album?
4. Melanie Laurent- My mother says I could use some world culture experience, so what better way to do that than by dating a French girl, who was in Inglorious Bastards. With that in mind, our first date would be at the gun range, firing .38 specials at paper targets with the pictures of America’s Ten Most Wanted Criminals, with the second half being at a low-key coffee shop.
5. Jamie-Lynn Siegler aka Meadow Soprano- Cause I’d be a total step up from Turtle (Entourage character).

Happy New Year everyone.

Dating my girlfriend is so much easier than dating single.

Okay, first I want to make a disclaimer that all of you will hate this post, outside of the fact that a lot of you hate my posts anyway, because I’m writing about my girlfriend. However, after being single almost my entire life, outside of a short stint at hookup sleepaway camp and dating a few other horrible people, I no longer care.

Anyway, dating your girlfriend is so much more pleasant and bearable than going out with strangers. I am a 100hookup success story, and though it has often been frustrating, which was mostly the fault of my own personality, I stuck with it for a long time, and all of those people I had previously hated that told me to not give up I hate slightly less now. Roughly five years of rejection, incompatibility, and lethargy did pay off in a big way.

I first signed up for 100hookup roughly five years ago, when, probably like many of you, my mother offered to pay for my account. I was new to online dating and was amazed that I could browse many women in my area, and was equally amazed by how little I knew about dating/the human condition. I was pretty proactive at first, but after years, I slowed down. I got to the point where I would get about one message a month from a woman, and we would go out, and it was usually okay, but would never see each other again.

Now, I’m in a wonderful relationship, and dating somebody consistently is so much better. If you’re out there in the 100hookup world, and are starting to lose hope, the best advice I could offer would be to not give up. I completely understand slowing down. Perhaps maybe you should not browse 100hookup nightly. This could come off as desperate while also increasing desperation within yourself. I’ve said this before, but take a step back. However, stay somewhat active. Browse peoples’ profiles, but do it in a more thorough way. Read their entire profiles this time. Don’t just rush through reading it to feel better about yourself. Don’t just send out mass messages in a one-night frenzy that you know in the bottom of your heart will not result in anything. Look for things that may pique your interest, or at least things that the two of you may have in common. I know this sounds obvious, and this may partly be due to the fact that I’m writing this while sick, but the way you act on 100hookup should reflect the way you act in the real world. You wouldn’t just run up to every women in a bar, one after the other, and scream, ‘Hi! You’re hot!’, and if you would, I really want to meet you.

It’s 9:30 AM New Year’s Day. You started drinking champagne and vodka martinis around six the night before, proceeded to shimmy your way into random New Year’s Eve parties, put your number in several people’s phones, and woke up next to some guy/girl named Jack/Jill (names adjusted based on your preference).

You both wake up, and in between shouting expletives due to your massive hangover, and your mother calling you asking you if you’ll be at the family brunch, one of you inevitably rolls over and says, “wild night, huh?”

As you both sit there in the nude, you begin piecing your night, and find out not only did you bond over the top-shelf open bar and the chocolate fondue fountain, but also a drunkenly shared appreciation of Downtown Abbey and celebrity gossip. While in the hotel, you notice next to the obligatory King James Bible is a People magazine from a month ago. You start reading it, recounting the best celebrity romances from 2012.

An hour passes. You are both still naked. You’ve hung up on your mother twice. Your head is still throbbing, but this random who you met in a state of alcoholic bliss appeals to your senses. You like being naked, with a mildly attractive-looking guy/girl and ESPN’s Rose Bowl preview in the background. You realize you have to go to work tomorrow. Your mother is calling again.

With the clock striking 1 P.M., you come to the understanding that there’s only a couple of hours remaining on your weeklong work hiatus, and while this guy/girl is charming, you did make reservations for the mimosa and chicken and waffle brunch at the American bistro downtown. You want to burn some more calories before this unlimited brunch, so you do things not appropriate to describe in a public blog, exchange numbers, and go on your merry way.

It’s January 3^rd. You are sitting at work, with your email, Facebook, work website, and 100hookup tabs all open. Then you get the text…

“What are you doing tonight?”

You pray it was Mr./Miss Random, and you open up to respond, but you look at the name of the sender and it happens to be… your mother.

Oops.

Do you have a type? I’m not talking about tall, dark and handsome but assholes, jerks, and players. Of course, you don’t see them as bad boys… but they are. Chances are, you are not going to change them or transform them or get them to settle down. Someone will, but chances are it’s not you. Could it happen? Sure. But don’t keep dating douchebags just so you can finally succeed in this quest to fix a man.

So when you get your heartbroken over and over and over, maybe it’s time that you take a step back and see what these guys had in common and why you are attracted to that type. Do you not feel like you deserve better? Yes, you need attraction but you also need to be treated with love and respect. Try to date against type and see if the attraction could grow rather than going for a guy where the relationship is built upon lust.