Extreme Profile Makeover — “David S.”
by Tamar Caspi
under Monday Makeover,Relationships
Get an Extreme Profile Makeover
Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “David.”
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Hi David,
I appreciate the amount of photos you uploaded which really show consistency in your appearance. But (and there’s always a but), you need to reorder them. Consider deleting a few and add a lengthier description to the others. I would make photo #6 (the mud pic) your profile photo as it shows your face close-up — plus it’s unique, interesting and fun. In your current profile photo, you’re wearing sunglasses and not showing your natural smile, so it’s not the best representation of your face. I would delete photos #7 (too far away) and #11 (chef) as they don’t add much value. Even photos #1 and #5 are expendable as you’re wearing sunglasses. Additionally, 11 photos is a bit of an overkill. I would also describe who the cute little girl is in photo #9 since you say you don’t have any kids, but don’t identify her as a niece or god-daughter.
Your profile is overwhelming, I’m not sure how else to put it. Sometimes there’s too much information, sometimes your sarcasm is questionable, and sometimes there’s a bit of a cheesiness factor. The first paragraph in your “About Me” section is great. I would delete the second paragraph completely and leave the third paragraph as is. The music and books you mention are again mentioned in “My Favorite…” and in the “Likes and Interests” tab so there is no need to repeat yourself — especially when the information fits better in another area.
Your “My Life and Ambitions” answer is confusing as it doesn’t align with Areas of Study/Occupation/What I do questions you answered. This is a huge red flag with anyone’s profile. If what you put under Occupation is no longer what you currently do, then address it in this section. Similarly, “A Brief History of My Life” is incredibly confusing. I appreciate good sarcasm, but this was completely over my head. The first line is cute — if vague. The rest of the quotations should be deleted. I mean, I get it, I just don’t think it belongs there. “My Perfect First Date” is perfect. The last line is questionable, but it’s up to you about whether you want to keep it or not. “Things I Could Never Live Without” is very well written, as is “My Favorites.” Under “The Coolest Places I’ve Visited,” you should delete the last line as it is kinda corny. The question is written in past tense, so to say: “somewhere with YOU!” is cheesy. The rest of your answers are good… there’s some humor mixed with seriousness, which is great.
Your “Details” and “My Ideal Match” are fine, broad enough to attract the most potential matches. Again, the list of “Area of Study” is a bit lengthy and confusing. Try to pare that down as a I doubt you majored in six areas. Finally, I like your new profile name, but since you mention a comic book character. I would describe somewhere how you are the female version of that character — rather than just assume a reader will make the connection on their own (adventurous, sarcastic, etc).
Good Luck!
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