Archive for December, 2012

Dear Tamar,

I want the women I meet on 100hookup to know having sex right away isn’t my first concern. However, I don’t know how or when to bring up the subject. Maybe I shouldn’t? Please help!

Dear Sex on the Brain,

Your intentions are really great. Really. But in this case, actions speak louder than words. If you bring it up, your dates will most likely think it’s a “line” and sometimes it may even end up working out that way. But if you truly don’t want to have sex right away then simply treat your dates with respect and your intentions will be evident. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go in for the kiss at the end of  your first date if that’s what you want to do and it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hold hands or touch her arm/leg/back if you are compelled to do so. If you don’t make the normal, natural moves then the woman will think that you’re not interested. Don’t put yourself in positions to have to address it — so basically, until you are ready to have sex don’t make-out naked on the bed.

1. Celebs Celebrate Hanukkah

Hanukkah began last weekend and hookup celebrities across the country are celebrating by lighting their menorahs, cookin’ up latkes and giving gifts to those they love! Here are just a few of the ways A-listers in Hollywood let us in on their Festival of Lights festivities via Twitter:

Seth Rogen: Now that’s a f***ing menorah: pic.twitter.com/REzwjgNn

Mayim Bialik: Anyone else need a soundtrack for making latkes this Chanukah? I play this on over and over and I try not to get… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAbTDHblxFM

Lauren Miller: Just ate Ribs and Latkes. Just like the Jews ate when the temple was destroyed. #HappyHannukah

Mindy Kaling: @IamLaurenMiller I wish I was hookup with you.

 

 

2. New Awards List Features Top 10 Orthodox All Stars

United States Senator Joseph Lieberman, Billboard Top 10 Artist Alex Clare, and best-selling author Faye Kellerman are among those being honored as “All Stars” within the Orthodox hookup community in a new video hitting the web last week.

hookup author and inspirational speaker Allison Josephs is releasing her inaugural top 10 list of “Orthodox hookup All Stars” and her picks are quite diverse. Josephs, who founded JewintheCity.com, says her top 10 list is based on those “who have reached the pinnacle of their respective fields while maintaining a religiously observant lifestyle,” including:

• United States Senator Joseph Lieberman

• Billboard Top 10 Artist Alex Clare

• Best-Selling Author Faye Kellerman

• Professional Boxer Dmitriy Salita

• Basketball Star Tamir Goodman

• Former HBO Senior Writer/Producer Jamie Geller

• YouTube A Capella Sensation The Maccabeats

• Comedian Mendy Pellin

• Rhodes scholar Miriam Rosenbaum

• Former U.S. Supreme Court Law Clerk and Founder of Non-Profit Breast Cancer Support Group Rochelle Shoretz

 

3. Scarlett Johansson Rebounds Fast

Scarlett Johansson has been practicing her French with her new beau this week – French kissing, that is!

The hookup actress broke up with boyfriend Nate Naylor earlier this fall, but promptly rebounded with French journalist Romain Dauriac. The two have been photographed engaging in some major PDA in New York. The relationship has been blossoming over the last few weeks and the two have yet to shy away from getting touchy-feely around the paparazzi.

Everyone has “drama” in their lives, but try not to make it a distraction to your dating life. You could have a grandparent dying or a loved one battling cancer or you could have recently lost your job or your father may have recently decided to come out of the closet as a gay man after being married to your mother for 35 years or your sister and your mother could be feuding to the point of ex-communication and putting you in the middle or your dog just died or your house flooded or anything else that causes you to lose focus. These are things that bleed into your everyday life and can cause dates to become very sullen when you describe whatever it is your drama may be. Listen, EVERYONE and I mean, EVERYONE, has some shape or form of drama in their lives. It is not a conversation piece for your first date. If asked something, just respond “oh you know, family drama just like everyone else has. I’ll tell you another time.” Everyone can relate to that. Do not go into details. Once you hit the third date mark, or even later on, you can divulge. Allow your dating life to be the positive and use your date as the distraction to your drama rather than the other way around.

What is a first date?

This is a question that has left online dating experts puzzled, the reason for 7 seasons of “Sex and the City” and the question I asked my mom when she discussed dating on the dinner table for the first time.

It was a conversation I recently had with a friend of mine. She is a beautiful, brunette hookup girl who has been in her fair share of relationships and had her fair share of first dates. Her idea of a first date, she said, was a nice dinner and a bar after.

“Isn’t that setting expectations a little high?” I asked. “Wouldn’t a coffee date suffice, then you can move on to something better once you’ve gotten the initial jitters out of the way?”

She felt that if you’ve been talking, whether online or in-person, a dinner date was best. Her reasoning was that if she wasn’t comfortable with that person in an “intimate” setting, where pressure runs high, what kind of comfort level would you have with that person in a relationship?

I responded: I guess it’s easier for a sloppy make-out session after a nice bottle of wine as we wait for valet parking, than after a chai latte from Starbucks. To add, if I’m totally repulsed by the girl, I can always leave my coffee, as I make a beeline to the bar one street over. Plus, why add that unnecessary tension for a first meeting brought upon by a nice dinner, and what do you do for an encore?

She said another dinner date and a movie maybe… but then doesn’t it get repetitive? “Oh, another dinner date with Adam… how routine.” Routine is for married couples with kids, not two people trying to get to know each other. Shouldn’t you vary your dates at first?

I’ll leave this up to you. Let me know what your idea of the perfect first date is on Twitter @adamrosenfield or by email at [email protected]

They say that the clothes make the man. I don’t know if this relates to that adage, but I love almost nothing more than wearing ties, aside from eating, sleeping, and wearing more than one tie at once.

I can’t remember if I’ve talked about this before, nor do I care, because you are not reading this, and I am not currently wearing a tie. If your workplace environment has a casual attire, try dressing up in a tie at least once. If you are female, try dressing up nice as well. It really makes the whole day so much better. Whenever I’m feeling down during the day, I look down and see that I’m in a tie and then I cannot be stopped. Try to wear a tie and not feel important and destined for greatness. Peeing in a urinal will never be so noble.

The first, and last, time I wore a tie on a first date, I managed to meet and hang on to the greatest woman of all time. I’m not necessarily saying that the clothes you wear will change the person you’re sitting across from. However, it may change the way that you present yourself to her, and thus change her perception of you and the trajectory of a relationship that may have been dead, had you worn your Polo shirt. I’ve worn a Polo shirt on several first dates, and never lived to see a second. Again, I was still in the process of losing weight and completely changing my lifestyle and the way that I presented myself.

A tie can be an impetus for a lifestyle change for yourself. If you want to lose some weight, wear a tie. You will still be fat, but you’ll feel better about yourself, and that may motivate you to do something. I actually have no idea what I’m talking about, and am really hungry right now. Wear a tie at the gym. Don’t even work out. Just stand there. You’ll burn some calories. Or you won’t. I’m no scientist.

I recently initiated Tie Tuesday at work. It’s pretty self-explanatory. If you don’t get it, I want people to wear a tie…on Tuesdays. Usually it’s just me that participates. It has also caused me to start going to the dry cleaners. I never went before on a regular basis. No story there. It’s just something I do now.

The world should all dress nice.

A lot of young adults have moved home and are now adult roommates with their parents. In fact, it’s such a phenomenon right now that books written on the topic have made it to the bestseller’s list. So here you are, probably in your mid-to-late 20’s, maybe even your early 30’s, and you are working on furthering your career but aren’t making quite enough money for a down payment and a mortgage. Or you just moved back to town. Or you are getting a divorce. Or you consider yourself old-fashioned and want to live at home until you get married. Or you just got laid off. Whatever the reason is, it’s a popular circumstance for many singles right now. But how do you date when you live with your parents? For starters, try not to lead with this fact. When asked where you live, state the neighborhood not the homeowners. Try to avoid being too specific until further into a first date conversation. And when you do, be matter of fact about why, but be brief. At this point, your date should already know that you’ve gone back to school for a Masters, or just relocated, or was previously married, or are unemployed (another word to find a synonym for) so when you share that you’ve moved home with your parents you don’t need to go into detail. Stress that you plan on it being temporary (if that’s the truth) but really, if the person likes you then he or she will not be turned off by your current living situation. Finally, try to arrange it so that your date doesn’t have to meet your parents too soon and once it does happen keep it simple, “Mom, Dad, this is Adam/Eve, Adam/Eve this is my Mom (insert name here) and Dad (insert name here).” Allow them to exchange niceties and then excuse yourselves. Warn your parents ahead of time so that they are presentable (no housecoats) and that this is just a quick introduction on your way out the door. Hopefully your request will be respected and the interactions can be easy and comfortable.

My four-month anniversary is coming up and it only took 28 years and 11 months to achieve. From the moment I was born, I was built to sabotage myself into being alone. In junior high, a girl literally told me I was cute, and I sarcastically said something about how fantastic that was and then ran away. Granted, that was junior high, but really Jeremy? Really?

In high school a girl asked me if I wanted to tan with her in her backyard. I responded by telling her I couldn’t because I had to do math homework and I didn’t even have any math homework. A few weeks later I volunteered to watch X-Men with her little brother. I don’t remember my thought process during this whole ordeal, but I imagine it’s similar to that of a crystal meth addict weaning himself off over the course of maybe one hour and suffering severe withdrawals. “Hey! I know you’re really cute and want to lay shirtless with me, but I’d rather watch a movie with your brother.” I wouldn’t have blamed her if she never spoke to me again. And she didn’t.

In college, a girl in my apartment told me I was the most attractive man she works with, and then I told her goodbye and she left.

I don’t know which one of these three scenarios is worse, but it doesn’t matter. If none of these had occurred, I wouldn’t have learned to not do stupid things, and wouldn’t have forced myself to rebuild my life. I would have settled down with one of these three women, remained fat and horrible, and she eventually would have divorced me. I do want to note that fat and horrible are two separate things, and your body size says nothing about you as a person. It was just another factor that made me feel miserable.

I needed to fall in order to get myself back up. I am now back up, but still limping. The most glaring difference in my life is my girlfriend. I know bragging about my girlfriend in a blog about online dating sounds pompous, but I think I’ve been self-conscious on here for long enough to merit that.

Like any guy whose mother calls his stomach a garbage dump, I love a good buffet. For one price, whether $10 at Golden Corral, or $40 for the Bellagio dinner buffet in Vegas, I get as much food as I want, and can try all sorts of different combinations.

Now, say I don’t want Golden Corral, and want a more specialized buffet? Well, there’s Pizza Inn, Pancho’s Mexican Buffet and Golden China Buffet. I don’t have the tough choice of deciding between meat, enchiladas, kiwi, and kung pao chicken every time I want to fill up my plate, but I do know at Pizza Inn that I can decide between pepperoni, pineapple, spinach alfredo, and mushroom pizza. It’s a lot of decisions, but I know that at the end I’ll still be eating pizza.

So where does 100hookup fit in all this? 100hookup is a specialized buffet- many people to choose from but the reason you all are on here is to marry a hookup person. For some (women especially), this is an easy concept (New York City, Los Angeles) as the choice of entrees allows for even the girl who still dreams of marrying the hookup Pizza Piper to date multiple alfredos, vegetable surprises, mushrooms, and maybe a pineapple pizza or two. Sure, you may find a couple of meat lovers in there, but that all comes with the process of finding your one true slice, and regardless that person still possesses the one characteristic most important to you (hookup faith).

Wait, what about those in smaller hookup towns? Well, even though there happens to be only 7 pages of people to look at, it’s still a buffet. You are on 100hookup for a reason, so why limit yourself to the 24-27 year olds, even though that 34-year-old might actually be sauce that meshes with your cheese? From my count, 150 people on a search is still a bevy of people to choose from, so no reason to complain about not being a success story, when you go for the same thing over and over.

With a buffet numbering 50,000 strong, why complain about the menu options, when all you’ve had is one small serving?

1. Mark Feuerstein Stars in Hanukkah Campaign

hookup actor Mark Feuerstein is starring in a new Hanukkah campaign from Heifer International® that works to promote unique and educational Hanukkah gifts for kids. The campaign promotes hookup precepts of tzedakah (charity) and tikkun olam (repair the world) by allowing children to share in the joy of helping a family in need. You can donate a flock of chicks, tree seedlings, or maybe even a goat to a family in need somewhere in the world thank to this holiday program. These gifts are said to not only improve nutrition, but help families generate an income in sustainable ways.

“The idea of giving people something meaningful and alive that can help repair their economic wellbeing and also pave the way for future generations of their family is so beautiful,” said Feuerstein. The goal of Heifer at Hanukkah is to help children appreciate the importance of charity and how their charitable contributions help repair the world and lift families from poverty to self-reliance.

 

2. Mr. Hoffman Goes to Washington

Dustin Hoffman was honored in Washington D.C. last night at the Kennedy Centers Honors, an annual celebration of the arts. Now in their 35^th year, this lifetime achievement award is for those who have “upended or embodied culture as we know it.”

Robert De Niro introduced Hoffman as a “world class, spectacular, colossal … pain in the a**” who makes cohorts strive to meet his meticulousness. The 2,000 attendees watched a montage which featured some of the hookup actor’s most famous roles—from an aimless seductee in The Graduate (1967) to a cross-dressing soap star in Tootsie (1982) and an autistic savant in Rain Man (1991). “He just thinks at a different velocity,” actor Liev Schreiber told reporters on the red carpet. “He burns at a brighter intensity.”

Hoffman has racked up seven Academy Award® nominations and two wins. This year’s awards ceremony also honored legends David Letterman and Led Zeppelin. You can view pictures from the event here.

 

3. Ben Savage Winds Up for a Reboot!

The latest TV reboot headed our way is a spinoff of every twenty-something’s favorite coming-of-age sitcom: Boy Meets World. The 1990s hit series starred hookup actor Ben Savage as Cory Matthews and now Savage has just signed on to star in the reboot.

The newish take, Girl Meets World, will air on the Disney Channel and center on Cory’s now 13-year-old daughter with high-school sweetheart Topanga.

This time of year there are so many dating distractions that it is even more difficult to find a serious prospect. ‘Tis the season to not get your hopes up about meeting someone new. So many singles are scared to get into a relationship between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve because of all the pressures of adding in the parties with friends and family when the relationship is too young for such serious introductions.

If you do happen to meet someone on 100hookup or at one of the various holiday mixers in November or December, don’t expect or demand plans for New Year’s Eve. If it happens, great! However, for some reason — probably that midnight kiss and that it “supposedly” means it’s who you’re going to spend that next year with — New Year’s Eve is one of those holidays that freaks people out when they’ve just started dating. If you are not ringing in 2013 together, then just send a little text when the ball drops saying, “Cheers to an amazing year!” or “Happy 2013!” or something along those lines. Don’t let the champagne go to your head though and send drunken text messages which you think are cute, but are actually really embarrassing/inappropriate/sending the wrong message.

Once January arrives you can start dating “normally” again without the pressures of the holidays —  and hopefully by Valentine’s Day you will have been going strong for long enough to make plans together.