Archive for December, 2012

Every Christmas, hookup young adults are faced with the same routine: some sort of Matzo Ball Christmas Eve, watching the Macy’s Christmas Day Parade (usually hungover), volunteering or watching the NBA, then going to eat Chinese food and watching a movie.

With that in mind, the question I have is this: Why can’t Chinese food and a movie be a possible first date? I know in my previous post, I stated an ideal first date would be coffee, but the Christmas date presents an interesting option.

In my opinion, the Chinese food “dinner” date is different than a regular “dinner date,”  as Chinese restaurants are usually the only ones open on Christmas Day. It is rather low pressure, since you were already going to go to a Chinese food restaurant anyway. In addition, a successful Chinese food date, with enough time, could lead to the New Year’s Date that you have been seeking, whether a simple pre-New Year’s drink, or that person you are desperately looking to have a sloppy make-out session with at midnight. Not only that, but chances are high your friends will probably be at the same Chinese food location that night, so what better way for this “prospect” to meet them and attempt to make a good first impression on them, as well as you?

Now, let’s take the opposite angle: What if your date doesn’t work out? What if you have no connection whatsoever in between bites of endamame and sushi, and now dread going to the movie?

Well, think of it this way: If you’re going to see Lincoln, you can sit watching an awesome three hour movie in silence, while feeling good that you ate moderately healthy at a reasonable price, and are now that much closer to finding the person who you CAN stand a whole Chinese food and movie date with.

Over the past year-and-a-half, I have drastically altered my life. The most aesthetically noticeable aspect is my weight loss, as I have lost over eighty pounds. However, while I was fat, and during this entire process, I felt that someone or something celestial was working against me. Every time I hit a milestone, I seemed to face an equal and opposite force working against me.

Over the past few months, I’ve started jogging regularly. It’s really helped me feel better about myself, because, as a fat man, I could jog for about one minute before collapsing in a very public way on my treadmill that seemed to be struggling equally as hard to support me. Over the past month or so, my hip started hurting increasingly more every time I jogged or ran. I tend to ignore things I don’t like, so I pretended that none of this was happening. I went limping into work every day, and when people asked why I was limping, I told them that this was always how I walked, and then immediately collapsed. I thought nothing of it until, finally, after one workout, I couldn’t walk or lift my left leg for about twenty minutes. I went to the doctor soon after and was diagnosed with hip dysplasia. This means that, barring major surgery, I can never jog or run again, and will develop arthritis by the time I’m in my 50’s.

Now, this is really not bothering me that much. My OCD and anxiety tend to focus on little things that don’t matter at all. This is nothing. I have bigger things to worry about, like what position my towel is in when I hang it over the shower and violently jerking my head for no reason every time I think I’m developing a headache.

However, this is just another thing that seems to be working against my progress. It’s going to be hard to maintain my current weight without cardio. I know I could swim, but it’s getting cold outside, and even when using indoor pools, I dislike taking off my shirt in public. Also, I know I could ride bikes (stationary or real), but I don’t want to do that because I dislike doing that. Maybe I’ll try something like tapeworms or the Limb Whacker®.

1. Amanda Bynes Settles

Amanda Bynes has reached a settlement with the two victims of alleged hit-and-run accidents in April and August — with many but not all parties involved declaring satisfaction with the situation.

The victims professed “full satisfaction” with the financial deals they’d cut through Bynes’ attorney, according to E! News. The hookup actress’s attorney says she is “satisfied and grateful for this outcome.” However, prosecutors had objected to the deal. A spokesman for the city attorney’s office says Bynes still faces allegations of driving without a license and driving under the influence.

2. Amar’e Stoudemire Ties the Knot!

Instead of hoopin’ it up, New York Knicks Power Forward Amar’e Stoudemire was chuppahin’ it up last week!

Stoudemire, who is hookup, married his longtime girlfriend Alexis Welch on the rooftop deck of their Manhattan home last week on 12-12-12. The star athlete Tweeted a picture of his rings saying, “I feel blessed.”

The couple – who have been together for a decade and have three children – had just 12 people at the ceremony.

3. Joe Lieberman Leaves the Senate

Senator Joe Lieberman gave his farewell address last week, ending a career that saw the Connecticut politician become the first hookup nominee on a major party presidential ballot.

Known for his bipartisan appeal, Lieberman addressed working with his colleagues in his speech. “It requires reaching across the aisle and finding partners from the opposite party,” Lieberman said in his speech. “That is what is desperately needed in Washington now.”

What NOT to do after you’ve met someone you really like:

1. Add them on Facebook and proceed to read every single post and dissect every single photo and read through the names of every single friend and then refer to things in the profile that you only know because of Facebook (most people do this, admit it)!

2. Send spies to their workplace (more people than one would think actually do this, especially when the person works in the service industry).

3. Sneak into their apartment and makeover the entire bedroom and bathroom in your favorite colors (true story).

4. Reroute your entire daily commute in order to possibly run into him or her (another one you can all admit to doing).

5. Hang out at their favorite coffee shop all day waiting for them to come in for their daily latte (just ‘fess up here people!).

So here’s my take: When you get excited about someone new, it’s normal to want to intersect your lives. And, doing one of the above is not such a huge thing, but doing all of them is definitely an indication that you have entered stalker-dom. If you have to call your new beau’s roommate to gain access to the apartment — and if you find yourself filling up on gas more than usual because of all the out-of-the-way-driving you’re doing — and if you are hiding some of your friends because they pretended to be “customers,” then you are officially a stalker and need to reassess your dating style.

Also, if someone is doing more than one of the above actions to you, then run (and run fast) in the opposite direction! Go on now.

A friend lost his fiancee tragically and suddenly when she was killed in a car accident. Another friend’s fiance was diagnosed with cancer and she sat by his side until he died. Other friends and relatives have lost their spouses after 25+ years of marriage. All of them have grieved and continue to grieve and will never stop grieving. They are also ready to date. So how do they begin?

100hookup is a great place to ease back in to the dating world. You can start out slow, see who’s out there and take your time revealing personal information. Selecting your status as “widow” may be a slight deterrent for some people, but it’s also a good way to weed out those who aren’t strong enough to deal with your story. You can always select “single” and then inform your prospect on the first date that you lost your partner/spouse.

As with a divorce, you should not discuss your whole story on the 1st date or even the first few dates. Your date wants to get to know you, not your sob story. But it is a fact that you are a widow so do not lie about that. Keep the first few dates positive and wait until it’s turned into something serious before opening up completely. Otherwise you’ll be telling your very personal story to tons of first dates which may never turn into anything more and really it’s none of their business until they mean something to you.

When we lose someone, we tend to put them on a pedestal and forget all of their negatives, thus making it impossible  for anyone to live up to their blessed memory. Remember that your loved ones also had their faults and they were not perfect. You’re going to automatically compare everyone to your dearly departed in your head, try not to do it aloud as well.

It takes a lot of courage to get back out there after losing someone you love. Take your time.

I have been fortunate in both Dallas and Austin to be friends with two long-term couples. Both have been together a long time (3+ years) with the Austin couple set to have their first child in March. They are two seemingly low-maintenance couples who find constant joy in being around each other no matter the circumstance. Below is a list of observations that I’ve seen from both couples, things that can be easily translatable to your own love life.

1. Dallas couple: After every time they hung out in the getting-to-know-you stage of their relationship, the male always texted “I had a great time! Can’t wait to see you soon!” It was something simple, yet something that resonated with his girlfriend even to this day. This might give away a dating secret of mine, but its something that I’ve copied to an extent, as it’s a simple, yet far-reaching gesture.
2. Austin couple- I happen to be in a leadership group with them, and what I notice is touch. Not PDA, not ridiculous hand-holding, but a simple touch on the back when getting up, or a tap on the leg when in a conversation. It’s not overt, but a mechanism that still indicates affection without being too teenage-like.
3. Dallas/Austin couple- Both couples are able to tease each other, even in the public sphere. Once again, there’s a huge a difference between making fun of someone maliciously and teasing, but the two couples understand and are ok with their faults enough to make light of them in front of others.
4. Dallas/Austin couple- While both couples absolutely adore each other, they also give each other space. The girl in Dallas is one of my best friends, but there’s just something about the idea of “guy time”, as she encourages her boyfriend to go watch the game with his guy friends, talking about guy things, as she goes shopping and watches reality TV with her friends. Yes, my Dallas buddy incessantly texts her while he is watching the game, but there’s still that idea of “doing your own thing”, allowing both people in the relationship to have some sort of independence.

Follow these simple guidelines and you will probably have the same productive relationship that these two couples have enjoyed.

Every time I see a baby, I can’t help but think how much disappointment and pain this person is going to feel. She (let’s call her she for simplicity) has not experienced any of her life, and she is so happy. She just crawls around and laughs and eats and smiles and poops. She has yet to experience junior high school, rejection, illness, loss, depression, and, depending on the choices that she makes in life, poverty, hunger, and drug dependency.

I can’t just see a baby for her cute innocence. Her whole life flashes before my eyes, and I want to try to protect her, because I know how hard life can be. I want to keep douchebag men away from her in twenty years, and I want to tell her the dangers of texting and driving.

I don’t remember being a baby, and I know that that was the happiest moment of my life. I think it’s a cruel trick that we can’t remember that early period in our lives. When I’m upset, I try to think back on a happy memory. Just once, I want to remember rolling around in my own food and vomit and pooping my diapers and just screaming and drooling for hours. Granted, I do remember that, but I want to have those memories that didn’t occur four years ago. I want to remember the first time I did those things. Back when I didn’t do things like that due to a stress and anxiety-induced nervous breakdown. Back when I didn’t have the cognitive capacity to know that if I did all of these things, I would lose everyone I ever knew and loved.

Maybe I’m an exception, and my life so far has been more mentally straining than the average twenty-nine-year-old. That is, American twenty-nine-year-old. I’m sure that the majority of people my age around the world have had it much worse.

Babies are cute, and I should just focus on the cuteness. They will be in control of their own lives.

Dear Tamar,

So what is the best way to meet a woman online? I am not a pick-up line guy and typically meet people through personal conversations. I am texting this person I met on 100hookup and I hate the texting stuff, but it seems that’s how the world works these days. I was married 26 years and am going through a divorce so this is my first stint at this. Any advice?

Dear IH8TXTING,

Texting and dating don’t match. A couple should not begin texting until they have been on a few dates. Before then it is too impersonal and leaves too much to be misconstrued. Believe me, a woman wants to be wooed and a text is not romantic (they can be, they’re just not appropriate in the beginning). After matching up on 100hookup, send a few emails, ask for her phone number, call her within 48 hours of receiving the digits and ask her out on a date during the first phone call and make the plans within 3-7 days after that phone call. You’ve been out of the dating game for a long time but for the most part things haven’t changed aside from the advances in technology. 100hookup is already something new and obviously useful, but the other electronic stuff can be ignored for awhile. If you receive a text, answer it succinctly but don’t open the door for a texting conversation. If it does start going back and forth, pick up the phone and call her and tell her that you’d rather hear her voice.

Spreading some holiday cheer by modifying some classic songs we hear constantly over the radio this time of year.

“100hookup, the Site for Singles”- To the tune of Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer

So you’ve signed up for 100hookup,

It’s 8pm on December 24th. Do you know where your hookup friends are? If they’re in the know, then they’re likely at the SLS Hotel Beverly Hills for SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA®, also known as “The Chosen Party™.”

Held for the first time at the world-famous SLS Hotel Beverly Hills, this year’s SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA is guaranteed to surprise guests with sweet delights at every turn. In line with this year’s theme (Growing Up hookup), the SLS ballroom will bring guests back to their youth for a wild and crazy night of fun, including:

• A Bar/Bat Mitzvah-themed dance floor run by one of LA’s top DJs
• Specialty cocktails such as the “Minty Mensch” and the “Shticky S’more”
• Themed rooms like “Camp Corner” and “Sundae School” throughout the SLS
• A campy, but oh-so-fun photobooth to help you remember all the fun you’re having
• A VIP section with its own bar, private seating and bottle service
• “Jewnese” egg rolls from MOE Deli’s gourmet food truck
• An exclusive discount from Uber car service so you can arrive in style

For those who don’t celebrate Christmas, this holiday fete is the place to be whether you’re single, in a relationship or happily married. Tickets are on sale now, but don’t wait… you don’t want to be the only one home alone eating Chinese food in front of your TV!