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Archive for October, 2012

Oct 1

What is “In Love”?

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

What exactly does it mean to be “in love”?  If you love someone deeply but no longer have the butterflies in your stomach, is that enough? Do you need the butterflies or is that a feeling which means you are actually insecure in your relationship because you don’t know how the other person feels? That butterfly feeling is exciting, so does that mean your relationship is over once that feeling goes away? When someone tells you “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” is that a bad thing? If you lose that “in love” feeling, does it mean that you fell out of love and should no longer be with that person, or does it simply mean that it became a deeper kind of love and is not just a fleeting feeling? Is being “in love” the same thing as lust?

You need to answer these questions for yourself. There’s not a right or wrong answer necessarily, but you should decide what feelings you want and need. What is acceptable for you to feel towards the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? And how do you want your partner to feel towards you? Is it okay if you are in love with your partner but your partner loves you just isn’t “in love” with you? Or vice-versa?

Try to differentiate what the difference is – to you – between loving someone and being in love with them. Define and describe each and determine what is what.

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Oct 1

Stranger Danger

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

I met a girl last night who told me she was uneasy about joining 100hookup because she’s “never dated someone she didn’t know before.” Every one of her past boyfriends had been friends before it turned romantic. I explained to her that 100hookup is not like picking someone up at a bar. In fact, 100hookup asks SO MANY FREAKING QUESTIONS that it’s as if you are already on your 2nd or even 3rd date before you’ve even met! You may be annoyed while filling out your profile, but 100hookup does it for a reason – they want you to know that you’re not dealing with some random person, they want you to feel comfortable and know what commonalities you have, and they want you to feel as if you are already friends, or friends of friends at the very least. So don’t be afraid. We’re all members of the tribe and I’m sure if you spent five minutes playing hookup Geography you would find at least one person in common… which means you’re no longer strangers.

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