Join for Free
|◄JBlog Home
Oct 25

Watching a Television Show About Eating Bull Penises is a lot like Dating

by JeremySpoke under Date Night,Single Life

After my nightly chore to Subway, I am always just as hungry before dinner as I am afterwards. Therefore, I almost always keep the television tuned in to the Travel Channel®, which is always playing something about food. Tonight is a Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern marathon. If you have never seen this show, 90% of its content is about eating animal genitalia. This, of course, is an exaggeration. However, even 1% of a show’s material focusing on eating animal genitalia is far too much.

Tonight, Andrew is eating bull penis. As I watch him both encounter and attack the penis, I think to myself that that is the exact same emotional roller coaster I go on before, during, and after a date. Before the date, I am characteristically nervous. I know that in only a few hours, I will have to eat and keep down a bull’s penis. I shower, and get as clean as I can for the upcoming bull penis. I get a haircut, so that I will be presentable for my date with the bull penis. I take my anti-anxiety medication so that I will not look nervous in front of the bull penis. I practice my conversation skills so that I can keep the bull penis entertained. Please keep in mind that I am in no way comparing women to a bull’s penis. I am only saying that the experience of dating is, to me, similar to eating a bull’s penis.

This far in my post, I am now realizing that I have said ‘bull penis’ too many times. From now on, I will refer to it as ‘BP’. However, I don’t want to disparage the oil company of the same name. Wait, why would I care about doing that? I’m sticking with ‘BP’. Once finally out on the date, I liken the experience to actually eating the BP. When you first bite into a BP, it is probably nerve-wrecking. You have bitten down, but have yet to experience whatever it might taste like. You know what it is, and that thought pervades your mind. Similarly, at the beginning of the date, you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into and you want out. You want to spit out the BP and run away. However, you can’t. You’re stuck with the BP and have to chew it thoroughly before digesting. The chewing is the worst part. In a similar sense, the conversation before the meal is the worst part. You just have to sit there, with no food, and prove to some person you’ve never met that you’re not dead inside.

Once the BP is in your stomach, you ponder the date later while at home. You try and pretend that it went well, but you know it’s about to reappear in a very horrible way. And that is how dating is similar to eating a bull’s penis.

Tags:

One Response to “Watching a Television Show About Eating Bull Penises is a lot like Dating”

  1. mark smit Says:
    November 22nd, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Great insight. I appreciate for the awesome information!

Leave a Reply


3 + one =

hookup hotshot com

If your account has been banned temporarily, make contact with Spdate s assistance to get it reactivated. Just like each and every other establishment, rules and regulations govern Spdate. As a member of the dating web page, if you mock any of these rules, then you run the danger of acquiring your account banned. boulder rubratings At times, pop ups seem more than the chat, and you finish up clicking it. It is rather inconvenient to appear on the website you don t want to be at all. If there weren t these tiny embarrassments, the site would be rather uncomplicated and intuitive. Although few adult dating web sites are advertised as becoming free, it somehow turns out that a single desires to make payment to use important things. Also, the platform keeps all your billing specifics safe. When you pay for the subscription, the transaction will appear on your billing statement as paygate24.net . The design and style of SPDate is very simple but rather cluttered with several ads and hyperlinks. Even so, thinking of the fact that messaging alternatives come totally free of charge, pop ups are totally justified. There is no will need to navigate by way of the platform in search of the necessary function. The internet site has a easy layout with each and every feature located at hand. manchester nh hook up Females generally dig guys who have great looks if you possess such qualities, then it could possibly not be that really hard to charm your way into a Moldovan woman s heart. Chisinau is recognized for its open culture males and females live a balanced life devoid of any restrictions. You will uncover ladies from many ages in the night clubs and bars trying to scout guys to get some action at night.