Archive for November, 2010

• Laugh your tuchas off watching @ericschwartz go @100hookup Walking! What makes the perfect profile pic? https://www.youtube.com/100hookup #
• What's the best piece of advice someone ever gave you? See how 100hookuprs answered in the @100hookup Kibitz Corner, on JBlog: https://bit.ly/cFxwJL #
• Hope U find that special someone! RT @NYCsingleCutie Searching @100hookup for a fun night, a connection, love or whatever comes first… #
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• Thx for the pickup! Glad everyone's laughing w/ @ericschwartz! RT @internet_dating What Makes A Great 100hookup Username https://bit.ly/c07NTV #

I went out with a couple friends last night (Saturday) for almost Halloween night.  We went to a popular coffee shop, and tried to think of ways to talk to women we knew we would never go through with.  I was leaning towards the, “Nice costume, can I buy you a steak?” approach which was odd because not only is that weird, but also we were nowhere near a venue that had the capacity to serve my lovely lady a fine steak.  Instead, we sat there like morons comparing coffee patrons to celebrities.  We all decided that this one dude looked exactly like famed murderer and person-eater Jeffrey Dahmer.  He looked pretty creepy, and sat by himself.

A few minutes later all of the lights on the patio shut out.  About ten minutes after that, people started running out of the shop yelling that it was on fire.  My quick, reflexive instincts told me to stay where I was and watch.  The fire kept building until we were forced to leave.  We decided to go to a bar.  As a side note, the coffee shop was essentially ruined the next morning.

At the bar, many people were dressed up in elaborate costumes.  It was either almost Halloween or we were at a really progressive place.  I started a conversation with a zombie who I assume was female.  Though undead, she was able to convey her personality through a complex system of grunts and blood-spurting.  It took me a while before I started to think that she may actually be a zombie.  I maintained a conversation but kept a safe distance.  I offered to buy her a drink, but she kindly said “No, thanks.”  Really?  I even strike out with post-apocalyptic daemons.

I am very close with my family so what goes on in my personal life, including whom I’m dating, is considered an open forum for questions and conversation. However, since online dating can be a very fluid situation where you go out on several dates in a short period of time, I don’t necessarily feel a need to tell my family, or even my friends for that matter, every time I go out on a first date. In fact, I generally won’t mention that I am seeing someone to my family or friends until we have gone out on a few dates and I actually have something meaningful to tell people.

My rationale behind this approach is: Only when I finally meet someone I’m interested in seeing more frequently will everyone in my close circle of friends and family know about her. Unfortunately, this methodology doesn’t really fly with my family, especially my mom and sister. Before my sister met her current, serious boyfriend she went out on several dates with guys she met on 100hookup, and after each date she would give my mom the details about the guy and date.

As a result of how openly my mom and sister talked about her JDating® experience they both have taken that same approach with me. Recently, I told my mom about a woman that I was seeing since we had gone out several times and it was going well; however, before I had the chance to tell my sister about her, my mom did. As a result, the next time my sister and I were on the phone she grilled me about my new quasi-relationship and made me vow to give her the news, and details, before she heard them from my mom.

Even though it may seem strange to some people that I would talk to my mom and sister about who I’m dating I honestly don’t care because we are close and I don’t mind sharing aspects of my dating life with them. Therefore, after this recent situation where I ended up being scolded by my sister because she had to hear about my dating news from my mom, we’ve reached a compromise where I still won’t tell them the details about every date I go on, but will make sure to keep both of them in the loop and up to date about what’s going on in my dating life so they don’t have to heard it from the other.

Dear Tamar,

I don’t understand why, when someone is looking for a partner they would take an interest in someone five states away!  It doesn’t make any sense to me. I hate to outright say no to an IM request but also feel bad about just ignoring it, too.  The same goes for someone who sends me an email from another state.  How do I respond (or not)?

Dear Long Distance Diss,

I totally understand where you’re coming from. I remember being on 100hookup and receiving IMs from people in other countries! I mean, really? It’s enough of a compromise to decide to open your area range to neighboring cities 160 miles away, right? The international IMs I would always ignore. Not even worth a second look in my book. But IMs from people 5 states away? Fuggedaboutit! (But click to read their message because they might be preempting with an “I’m moving to your state next week!” message in which case it’s game on!) But IMs from people 2-4 hours away (i.e. within driving distance or a short, cheap flight) should be dealt with on a case-by-case basis and treated just as if the person were in your city. Check their photos, profile, preferences, etc and make the determination then. You never know, it might end up being the best road trip ever! Good Luck!

Finding time to make dates isn’t always easy. Many people have demanding jobs and social lives that they are trying to balance, and dating is just one element of that equation. Additionally, not everyone works a standard 9-5 job and has their weekends free, which means that finding a time when both of you are available might not be as simple as you would like.

As a college basketball coach my hours vary a great deal, and my free time is at a premium during the season from mid-October until mid-March. As a result I have to push myself to be social and make plans as opposed to curling up in an anti-social ball during the season. However even though I might be resolved to make plans that doesn’t guarantee I will be able to.

Recently I’ve been dating a doctor (whom I met online) who has a schedule that is constantly changing and fluid like mine. In spite of our best efforts it has been getting more and more difficult to find time during the week to see each other. Additionally, even when we have found time, one or both of us has been exhausted and the plans have been far too brief.

This situation had been bothering me recently since I like this woman and enjoy our time together, and fortunately after lamenting my problem to a friend last week he did offer some good perspective on my predicament. His point was that in any relationship there are going to be things that you need to overcome as a couple. For the doctor and me, we need to overcome the difficulties that have arisen as the result of our busy and opposing schedules and only time will tell whether we will be able to work through this issue in the long run.

As mentioned earlier, I decided to try to fulfill my lifelong dream of stand-up comedy last week.  I found a super neat database online that lists all open mic comedy venues in the Houston area.  I called several of the places on the list, but learned the awful truth about the modern transliteration of “open mic.” Open mic, today, almost exclusively pertains to poetry, or to music, which is essentially poetry with a melody.  I stumbled upon this reality quickly.  The first few places that I called either didn’t exist, didn’t host open mic anymore, or did host open mic, but primarily for poetry and/or music only.

The first place I tried was a bar that ironically used to be a comedy club.  Today, it is far less funny and far more of a straightforward bar.  I figured since it was ‘open mic night’ that it would primarily be for amateur comics.  Instead, it was a mix of amateurs and people who really had their junk together.  The host picked the order of the comics randomly, so I had to wait an agonizing three hours before I finally went on and had to follow a gentleman that had been on several television shows.  I stumbled on stage, almost tripping over my profuse, exploding sweat and my failed dreams of fame.  I got through about half of my set before not just completely forgetting my jokes, but also where I was and who all of the people looking at me were.  My friends tell me I ended the set demanding to know where I was.  At least I started strong?

The next bar I tried was a battle for survival.  Though I called beforehand, and the woman whom I talked with was very courteous and informative, the actual place was death.  It was in a bad neighborhood.  There was no sign for the place.  When I walked in, there was really loud music on and I asked to talk to the owner.  When she came not only had she become a man, but she had also become angry, loud, and seemingly homicidal.  I got out of there and was on to my next venue on my road to comic obscurity!

The next place didn’t have a phone number, so I used the address to get there.  Not only was it a grocery store, but it was also a hotel.  Not only was it a hotel, but it was also a bar.  Not only was it a bar, but it was a bar that had never nor will ever host any type of open mic night whatsoever.

Here’s to my meteoric rise to mediocrity.

100hookup’s Kibitz Corner recently asked the question: What’s the best piece of advice someone has ever given you?

The majority of 100hookup members said the best piece of advice they’d ever received came from their parents and grandparents.

Here are our top 10 advice snippets including the serious, funny and outlandish!

1. Work to live, not the other way around.

100hookupSara, 26, Single, Woman seeking a Man, West Hollywood, CA

2. Eat your vegetables.

JerrseyGirl, 59, Divorced, Woman seeking a Man, Saint Louis, MO

3. 5% of the people you know cause 95% of your problems

ChicagoDr…, 23, Single, Man seeking a Woman, Woodland Hills, CA

4. Buy shares in Pan Am, book a ski trip to Yugoslavia, bet on that zebra in the Grand National and make war not love.

LordSover…, 42, Single, Man seeking a Woman, London, United Kingdom

5. Between…You don’t need to be a billionaire to be happy but a few million sure wouldn’t hurt! Girls are like busses, miss one, ten more are coming.

MarcJTG, 20, Single, Man seeking a Woman, Roslyn, NY

6. To quote my grandpa, “You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”

timg, 20, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Melbourne, Australia

7. Engage the brain before opening my mouth to say something that may offend someone.

petite, 43, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Oakland Gardens, NY

8. Life is not a “dress rehearsal;” you only get one chance so do what makes you happy without hurting anyone else.

Alwaysgiving, 52, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Aurora, CO

9. Never go to bed angry. If you are going to fight, fight in the nude, and it’s ok to fight, ok to argue, and ok to have the last words as long as they are yes dear.”

DivorcedD…, 30, Divorced, Man seeking a Woman, Westlake Village, CA

 10. Before judging someone, walk a mile in their shoes. This way, when you’re judging them, you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

DocBluth, 28, Single, Man seeking a Woman, New York, NY

One of the worst dating offenses I see when people-watching at 100hookup events is people who are either over or under made-up. Men and women are either over or under dressed, women either have too much or too little make-up on and hair for either sex is either dirty or overly styled.

I’ve already talked about changing your clothes after work or bringing a few accessories to work to dress up a work outfit. If the invitation says cocktail attire, try not to wear jeans. I know it’s trendy but it also sends a message that you’re not trying very hard. A woman who left work early to run home and shower, change into a dress and reapply make-up isn’t going to be turned on by a guy who also went home… but got distracted watching the game and then threw on a pair of jeans without a belt as he ran out the door.

Ladies — I am all for looking au natural but au natural is actually a make-up technique, it doesn’t mean leaving the house without make-up. It also doesn’t mean pancake-ing it on until you’re devoid of pores. It means applying a minimal to medium amount of make-up before you walk out the door so you can amplify your best features and look as though you’re not wearing any make-up. Men want to see your true face and don’t want to be surprised when the lights in the bar turn on.

When it comes to your hair: wash it, brush it and style it. It shouldn’t smell, look greasy or be too stiff with gel. Hair is an aphrodisiac and should be treated as such. Hair should smell good and make you want to reach out and run your fingers through it. Ladies – if you have long hair than wear it down so you can flip it over your shoulder and twirl it around your finger. If you have short hair, then just rock it! Men – the spiky look is not hot, handsome is in. If you use more hair product than me, we have a problem. Even bald men should make sure their noggin is smooth and not too shiny. Bald is sexy.

The bottom line is: make an effort to make an impact.