Day 3 – Life is Getting Even Better
by SWEETADVENTURE8 
under
Entertainment,
JBloggers,
Single Life
by Tamar Caspi Shnall under
JBloggers,
Online Dating,
Relationships
Dear Tamar,
I was supposed to have a first date with a man last week. Subsequently he canceled because he had to go out of town. We rescheduled for two weeks. He calls me daily and we have wonderful conversations. We both already feel like we know each other. Is talking too much before meeting a recipe for disaster? I know he is attractive and I love talking to him. I believe he feels the same. I’m concerned that when we meet it might go too fast.
Thanks.
Dear Great Expectations,
I don’t recommend talking TOO much before meeting. I was disappointed WAAAAYYYY too many times because my date and I both had built up expectations of each other that neither one of us could realistically meet. No matter the chemistry on the phone, you may not have chemistry in person and it will be incredibly awkward on your date. I suggest tapering off the phone calls until you meet so that you don’t get your hopes up. You can either tell him your concern or just be “busy.” I advise one short phone call to hear the person’s voice and to make plans, which would ideally be within the week.
If everything does fall into place, it’s up to you to set the pace. If it’s true that you think you know each other better than you do, and a 1st date after many phone calls actually feels like a 3rd date , you can get caught up in the momentum. Just take a step back and, instead of taking it too far, make a date for a few days later. Good Luck!
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by Tamar Caspi Shnall under
JBloggers,
Online Dating
by Tamar Caspi Shnall under
JBloggers,
100hookup,
Online Dating
Dear Tamar,
I started chatting on 100hookup with a guy in another country back in March, then via email and now consistently twice a week on skype (with camera). In between skyping we email short messages, but nothing is flirty. We talk about the moon, the stars and everything under the sun, but nothing about us. He never says I like you or I am attracted to you and never gets into emotional discussions about ‘us’. I find him emotionally detached. Is he? I really like him. When I have tried to hint a ‘how do you feel’, he says ‘I am interested otherwise I wouldn’t communicate with you’. He has told me he would like to come visit, probably in September. Where do I actually stand with him? I really like him.
Dear Long Distance Lothario,
First, let me say September is a long way off. The problem with spending so much time getting to know someone you’ve never met who also happens to live halfway around the world is that you don’t really know who they are or if you will be a match once you do (if ever) meet. Second, the lack of emotional connection could be one of two things. Either he’s just bored and passing time at your expense, or he’s a really great guy and is getting to know you on a deeper level than just talking about sex. As women, we’re not totally used to this, but think about it… why should he talk about a relationship with someone he’s never met?
I don’t think there’s any harm in keeping in touch, but I wouldn’t stop meeting other people on 100hookup in the meantime. There are a number of reasons for this: it will keep you from putting all your eggs in one basket; it will make the time between now and the visit fly by faster; and if he never visits then you didn’t totally waste your time.
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by Tamar Caspi Shnall under
JBloggers,
100hookup,
Online Dating
Minutes after creating a 100hookup profile you’ll probably start getting a lot of views right off the bat. Being fresh meat on the 100hookup market means you’re feeling pretty hot right about now, but how do you convert the views into dates? And what do you do when someone else’s profile catches your eye?
First, use the 100hookup tools to your advantage. When the “views”, “flirts” and “clicks” are used and reciprocated, you know the other person is interested… now it’s time to make a move and send a message. But wait… I’m an old fashioned type of gal and I believe if the guy is interested he’ll make the move, just as if we were in a bar. So the women can send flirts to their hearts desire, but let the guy make the first move. So guys (or gals who don’t want to sit around waiting,after all, it is a free world), when you write your message make sure it is not about you! We can learn enough about you by reading your profile. The message should be about why you like the other person, what caught your eye and what you have in common. Make the message specific to the person you’re writing to and add a compliment or two for good measure. The message should be short and sweet, but at least three lines. And do not ever, and I mean never, copy and paste a generic e-mail, it’s always obvious!
If you’re on the receiving end of a message, you can easily check to make sure the writer actually read your profile by looking for specifics. If you think the writer is attractive, you like their profile and their message, then go ahead and write back. But don’t wait too long. You should reply within the next day or two, just as you would if the message were a phone call to return. The reply should consist of a thank you, a return compliment and your phone number. That’s it. Keep it simple.
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