Winter is relationship season – the time when men grab hold of the sweetest woman they can find, and spend the cold and snowy months cozy in her arms. But as the summer heats up, spring flings turn into steamy, summer hookups. Suddenly, the chances of a man trying to settle down go from slim to none. In the summertime, the skirts are shorter, the sun is going to our heads, and no one is thinking about a serious relationship – except for you! Read on to find out how you can turn “that guy you’re kind of dating” into your boyfriend in time for winter’s relationship season:

1. Have Fun

Now that July is here and a heat wave is upon us, we’re all itching to go outside and catch some rays. So ask your man if he wants to spend a day at the lake, or the park. Take this chance to make a great picnic lunch – nothing serious, just some sandwiches and his favorite beers. Grab a blanket, throw on a swimsuit, a tank top and some cutoff shorts, and spend a day throwing a Frisbee and relaxing.

The benefits of this date are threefold. First, show him how versatile you are by playing some easy summer sports, like Frisbee. He’ll see that you’re no-fuss and down for some fun. Next, by taking the initiative to plan an entire day with him, he’ll see that you’re looking out for him, and making his life better. Last, by remembering his favorite sandwiches and beers, he’ll notice that you’re taking care of him. What an amazing way to spend a summer Saturday! You’re demonstrating extreme value, and showing him how fantastic his summer will be, if you’re in his life. Most importantly, you’re having fun!

2. Relax the Leash.

Maybe at the beginning of the year, you were spending every day together, watching movies, playing games, and sipping wine. But now, it’s important to show him you’ll be giving him plenty of space as relationships require independence as well as a desire to grow together. Suggest a night out with the guys with a line like, “Hey, I don’t know what you wanted to do tonight, but I know the game is on! Why don’t you grab a beer with the guys, I’ll see my sister tonight!”

By allowing the object of your affection the chance to make his own plans, not only will he miss you, but he’ll also see that you’re independent. This is such an admirable trait in a girlfriend, and in a person! Side note: by expressing your ability to live without your man, the instinct is often to hold you tighter. People want to be needed, and chances are good that your guy isn’t any different. Show him he’s free to do what he pleases, and you are too. He’ll likely be holding on tighter than ever before.

3. Be Upfront

Be upfront about your intentions – but not scary! Men are often under the impression – or they pretend they are – that a woman isn’t looking for anything serious. And because of the casual nature of today’s dating situation, not every woman wants to be somebody’s girlfriend. So, don’t leave any room for miscommunication. Tell him: “I really love spending time with you. And I love the idea of more of that in the future.” Don’t let the guy you’re dating think you’re content with anything unofficial – or the fault is entirely your own.

If you’re honest about your intentions by saying something like, “I’m hoping this goes somewhere more serious,” you’ll find out if you and he are on the same page. Either way, you win! You’ll either stop wasting your time, or you’ll find yourself in a happy and committed relationship.

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