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5 Ways To Spot A “Confirmed Bachelor”

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Most women fear divorce more than anything, but what if divorce isn’t even in the cards because your new beau wouldn’t ever dream of getting married? If you’re like every other marriage-minded woman, you’re tired of being single and you’re looking for love. It’s thrilling to want to jump into a relationship with a new man, but make sure you don’t get stuck with a man who will NEVER put a ring on your finger! Here’s how to spot these pesky time-wasting bachelors, the men who don’t want to give up the single life.

1. Is he well known at every spot in town?

A well-traveled man (and date connoisseur) will know the best restaurants and the best bars. If your man is getting winks and is on a first name basis with the maître d’ at every restaurant you visit, chances are he’s done this circuit before, and with another woman. Sure, some familiarity is great; good connections are a good sign. Still, if he’s too friendly, you’re probably one of many dates at his “favorite Italian place.”

2. Have you run into several of his exes already?

It’s a small world. It makes sense that you might run into an old friend once or twice, or a former flame. But, if every area in town seems like a minefield of ex-girlfriends, it begins to get a bit troublesome. Sure, some people have a more extensive track record than others. However, take care to make sure you don’t become one more breadcrumb in a trail of commitment issues, for the next girl to follow.

​3. Does he rush you out of bed in the morning?

A man who always has business meetings super early, can’t be bothered to stay in bed and lounge around on a Saturday morning, or leaves before you wake up isn’t looking for any kind of commitment. He’s only looking to sleep with you. It’s tough, but a man who wants to spend serious time with you will find a way.

​4. Is he private about his phone?

When he’s rude about his phone, sending text messages and keeping it just out of your reach, and even ignoring calls or texts when you’re around, something might be wrong.  If he’s a juggler (a guy who dates multiple girls and is always working to ensure you don’t get too close), he’ll do everything in your power to keep you isolated away from his friends who might blow his cover.

​5. Has he avoided interactions with your friends – or his?

A confirmed bachelor really sees no need to get too attached, and that includes meeting his parents, or yours. Sometimes, a break-up is about more than just the two people in the relationship: it means breaking up with his family, too, and he just doesn’t want that much of a commitment. Not every guy should introduce you to his folks after the first date, but if the holidays roll around and he suddenly makes himself scarce, take the hints he’s giving and get out of there.

​Not everyone is ready to get married, and not everyone wants to. This is a viable choice for any individual, but when you’re spending valuable time and hoping for a different end goal than he has in mind, you could wind up wasting some seriously important time in your life, and missing out on other amazing men. Make sure you and your man are on the same life path and avoid the confirmed bachelors at all costs if you’re a commitment-minded person!

Janis Spindel is 6 Marriages shy of 1000, and she has been in business for 21 years! Specializing in pairing up upscale clientele who are well-educated, sophisticated, attractive professionals, including public figures and celebrities, this self-proclaimed Cupid in a Chanel suit is no-nonsense when it comes to the business of “getting people married.” For more info on Janis, check out
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  • KAR says:

    You nailed it. I found myself nodding yes as I was reading the article. Apparently, I am dating a confirmed bachelor.

  • Gabe says:

    I am a confirmed bachelor, I’m 33 and have had three ultimatums throw my way so far. I find ultimatums very unromantic. With that said, when I get an ultimatum, I usually bolt. I have never cheated, nor am I afraid to commit. If you look up the word commit or commitment in the dictionary. There is no mention of a legal binding contract between two people and the state. Therefore, I find it funny that I keep hearing the word “scared to commit” or commitment phobe used over and over again. I am not afraid to commit, but will never sign an unjust, potentially devastating contract. I have seen both men and women that I am related to or am friends with get financially ruined in divorce courts. My number one goal in life is to avoid going to court for anything. I would by happy to have a life partner :) You do not need a court document to commit.

  • Robert Bronstein says:

    I enjoyed reading your article. I teach job seekers of all stripes how to use social media in their searches. Many are not your typical folks. well-educated, sophisticated, attractive professionals, e.g. 40 years old + Electrical engineers, lawyers, finance MBAs.

    I’ve not read anything online counseling this population how interpersonal relationships and dating and self esteem can be managed under the circumstances (not of their choosing)

    I’d be curious what advice you offer those folks?

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