I was living in DC about a year and a half ago and one warm evening, I took a rather long stroll to the local shopping mall in Columbia Station. I was about three quarters of an hour walk away from my home in Dupont Circle. I buzzed around the big box stores for a couple of hours and then began the long walk home. At that point it was late and dark, but the streets were still busy. The walk home took me through a rather rough neighborhood, near some lower-income housing projects. Bunches of people were congregated on the sidewalk in the warm summer night air.

As I walked down the street, a young boy and his friend passed by me. In an instant I noticed the boy closest to me (who looked about eleven years old at most) had tears running down his face. I stopped in my tracks and stood in front of him, preventing him from walking any further. “What’s wrong?”

There are three pillars, or fundamental ways, that one creates transformation in practice. These three pillars are: 1) Protecting 2) Caring For 3) Empowering.  Read on to discover how these pillars work and how you can use them to live a transformative life!

Someone who lives a transformational life lives according to the idea that humanity is at heart interconnected and unified. We are all a part of one family – or on an even deeper level, different parts of a single organism. As such, we care about one another and feel a sense of responsibility for one another.

Living transformationally means that one is always aware of the status, issues and needs of everyone around you. There is no such thing as being oblivious. When walking down the street, one is aware of who is passing. When sitting in a subway car, one is always aware of who has gotten on. There is a situational awareness that is similar to that of a soldier on duty – although the mission is slightly different. One never drops this level of awareness – it becomes habitual. The universe may not ask anything of us in that moment – but if it should, will you notice? Will you be ready?

What is the most important value? The value to end all values? What is of supreme worth in this world? If you had to choose one moral or ethical principle or virtue that would guide your life and the lives of others, what would it be? Some might say Charity. Some might say Tolerance. Some might say Love. Some might say Justice. Some might say Mercy. Some might say Truth. The list goes on. Each one valuable, each one worthy. But can they claim the right to be called the Supreme Value?

When one makes a decision to live transformationally, first and foremost, one is making a statement about the nature of the world and of humanity – a statement of deep conviction. One cannot reveal an essence that one is not firmly convinced is there. It also does not matter what one’s particular religion or belief system is – anyone can choose to live transformationally – there is no contradiction.

Read on to see which principles will lead you to a transformational life.

As discussed in the previous column, empathy alone does not necessarily make people take action on behalf of others – much less the kind of conscious action that leads to transformation. Feelings in and of themselves are just not strong enough – particularly when other factors are in play (outer pressure, inconvenience, ideology, direct orders from others, etc.).

If the root of all evil is the failure to consider the existence of the other; and the root of all good is the recognition of the existence of the other, the all-purpose antidote would be the attribute of empathy – right? Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.

Once, when walking out of the library at the university where I was attending graduate school, I saw a teenaged boy walk up behind an unsuspecting man and punch him in the head. As the man turned around, startled, the boy ran away. This is what is meant by not fully considering (allowing for) the existence of another human being. This is the root of all evil.  In similar fashion, walking by when someone stumbles is also the root of all evil – though perhaps to a slightly lesser degree (omission versus commission).

The absolute foundation of everything that we build in the world is who we are as people. If you build a house on a crooked or cracked foundation, you will wind up with a crooked (and then cracked) house. The definition of ‘integrity’ is ‘complete, undivided, unblemished’. If we want to create a world that is complete, undivided, and unblemished – this is how we need to be ourselves. If our intention is to create (through our vision and our actions) a world that is interconnected, whole and in balance, we need to be whole and in balance ourselves.

One of the key differences between a meaningful life and a happy life involves the difference between choice and control. When we are trying to live a happy life, it helps a lot if life is cooperating with our preferences. In order for us to be happy, the lights can’t be too bright (or dim). The food can’t be too salty (or not salty enough). We may need a sweater. Heaven forbid if we forget our lip balm! When people are nice to us, we are happy. When people snap at us, look down their nose at us, or ignore us completely, we are not happy. This would be fine except that all of these things are difficult for us to control. And while we may think that we should be happy anyway, sometimes this is just too much for us. Happiness eludes us because control eludes us.