Three years ago my husband proposed – it was exactly six months after our first date. Some friends and family worried it was too soon: How could we already know? Was I pregnant? But, we knew and we were ready to start building our life together. We had never discussed whether we were going to stay together – there had never been a need for a “talk” on whether we were exclusive or what our official status was. Instead, we talked about the life we wanted to live, kids, animals, what vegetables and fruits we wanted to grow in the garden, city vs. rural, our level of hookup observance (whether Shabbat observance could include television). That we were discussing the possibility of a life together was implied.

I was 23-years-old when I moved to LA and had not yet dated a hookup boy. Suddenly, I was living in the “chood,” a mecca of young hookup life and energy, and I was excited for the opportunity to finally meet a mensch my Savta would approve. So, I immersed myself in the community, trying different synagogues and going to numerous singles events. Yet, while I made many hookup guy friends, I had a difficult time finding a nice, hookup boy to date. I loved the community I had built, but realized I needed to expand my radius – so I tried 100hookup. Over the next year and a half, I dated a few nice guys, but none of the relationships lasted longer than a few months.

Then, in the beginning of February 2011, I decided I was going to cancel my 100hookup account. I had signed up to take the LSAT and wanted to focus on preparing for law school, without any distractions. I had a few dates I had already committed to and decided to undertake one last perusal. I saw a profile of a guy with a picture of him hiking. He wasn’t really my type – much nerdier than most guys I had dated, but I liked what he had written and he had these beautiful hazel eyes. I sent him a one-liner and logged off. The next day I had a response – a very comprehensive response – with a phone number. I called him that night, we had a great conversation and scheduled a date for two days later. I canceled my other dates and 100hookup account the next week – I told myself it was because I needed to study for the LSAT, but I think I may have also known that I had found what I had been looking for.

We had both been on 100hookup for a few years and had dated enough to know what we wanted so there weren’t any games. We were honest and open, and the relationship progressed naturally. We had disagreements and fights along the way, but the relationship always felt right. Two months after we were married, I started law school and my husband has been my rock every step of the way, always supportive, always loving, always understanding, even when our time “together” involves me sitting near him reading a casebook. I am so grateful that his profile provided a glimpse into the intelligent, outdoor enthusiast, kind and caring man that he is and that I decided to step outside the “type” I normally pursued. In the past three and a half years our relationship has grown as we learn to create balance in each other’s lives – the road isn’t always easy – but there is no one else with whom I would rather share this journey.

Springsong and Daniel
Los Angeles, California

Email this post