We all try to keep our cool and stop anger and hostility from infiltrating our sense of inner peace, but sometimes we find ourselves in an argument (whether we rashly lose our temper with that new cutie we’re dating or are provoked into a major fight with a loved one). During the fight, our endorphins pump, our faces flush, our hands might even shake. However, what about afterwards? How can you harness your endorphins and re-assemble that inner peace that was shattered when the argument reared its ugly head? Take a deep breath and discover our favorite ways to calm down after an argument.

Take a Recovery Walk

Take a walk and think about the situation that just happened. After everyone is calm, recoup yourself and talk through the problem: was that even worth the argument? Did it really need to go that far? You may just find yourself laughing it all off.

Tear Up Paper

The simple activity of shredding up paper with both hands can keep you distracted and help relieve those fleeting thoughts of anger.

Burn Vanilla or Lavender Candles

Vanilla scents are calming and soothing, while lavender also encourages sleep. Taking a whiff of these powerful scents can help you de-stress and remove yourself from the tension just long enough to simmer down.

Only Tell the Story a Few Times

After an argument, have you ever went on to vent about it to your best friend? Then to your mother? Then your mother-in-law? Then some friends? Then to your husband? Then again to your husband? This can be a mistake–not a mistake to share the story, but a mistake to repeat it again and again. All that does is to get you worked up and indignant all over again. Instead, tell the story to a very inner circle, and to others who know you had an argument. Either have a one-sentence summary or just ask them to support you in calming down.

Shake Your Shoulders

Most of us collect tension in the areas in the back of the neck, shoulders, and upper body. Next time you’re having a tense moment, notice how your shoulders may be hunched in and how the muscles are contracting. Shaking your shoulders will give you a much-needed posture adjustment, helping you breathe naturally and calm down organically.

Let It Out and Move On

Here’s a good saying to remember when you’re angry: “Hiss, spit, and get over it.”

Respect Different Opinions

Sometimes it’s hard for people to realize that an argument is simply an expression of difference of opinion, and we are all entitled to our own opinion. That doesn’t mean that either side of the argument is wrong, just different. Try to remind yourself of this: it is not always what you say, but how you say it. So, try to share your opinion with a pure heart. That will help you to remain calm during (and after) an argument.

Breathe it Out

Count to ten. County to twenty. If you’re still upset, keep counting until you’re out of breath. Sometimes you just need to put your focus on something else for a minute or two in order to calm down.

Choose Your Battles Carefully

First, realize when you simply can’t change something. Next, pick the battles that are important to you. It’s that simple! People can be difficult, even you! So, stop it early!

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