Join for Free
Home » Expert Advice

Still Hot, Why Not?

Submitted by 2 Comments

Share Your Husband, Please!

Rarely do I get invited to a dance party. Folks my age don’t throw them. We’re too tired, too arthritic, or too dead. So, I was thrilled when my friend Luna called to say that her ex-boyfriend was throwing a dance party for his 66th birthday, and he said it was okay to bring me.

I got out my dancing shoes. Yes, I have dancing shoes: cushioned heels. I keep them in the drawer with the condoms, which I’ve labeled “Museum.” I looked through my closet and found a sexy little dress. Then, I put on pants. I did my hair, located my eyes, and pinned up my neck.   Danced to some James Brown to get in the mood, and headed out to the parté!!!

The room was dark. People stood in little circles, holding glasses of wine, chatting. When I overheard the word “diagnosis,” I knew I was in the right place. And there was my friend Luna, elegant and lovely as ever, talking to the birthday boy. After making polite conversation about our current prescription plans, I took Luna aside.

“Who are the single men?” I asked her.

“There aren’t any,” she replied.

“There aren’t any?” I asked, sliding my expectations from meet-love-of-life, straight through get-a-date, past do-something-stupid and into oy. “Are all the men here married?”

Yup.”

“Every one???” 

I mean, okay. I’m used to New York parties. Where there are always small herds of lovely unattached women and that one guy in the corner squeezing an olive out of his nose, but really: every guy at the party, is married???  How can that even be?

“Some of them are just in relationships, but yeah,” Luna clarified. “I know them all,” she went on, as I batted away the impulse to deck her. Why had she not told me? Would I have come?  Okay, I consoled myself, I do not need a man in my life (said it before you did) and I can still have fun, and the music is loud, and…

A man came up. “Would you care to dance?” he asked, extending his hand and giving me the once-over with sexy eyes under bristled brows and a bald head. I didn’t see a wife or girlfriend nearby. She could be any of these women chatting about colonoscopies.

“Sure!” I replied, and jumped onto the floor. And thus began two hours of nonstop dancing to the Stones, Franklin, Gaye, Beatles, Pickett, Procol Harem, Zeppelin, Sam Cook and the Supremes. Somebody told me I’m a great dancer. Somebody asked me where I’d learned to dance. Somebody said, “In one of those cages.” I got a little drunk. I was having fun, when…

The door opened. And in walked another couple. The man was my ideal. The woman was his wife. Now, I am not prone to envy, except when I look at people, watch TV, or sleep. But, I envied that woman. I looked around the room. The men were mostly ancient-looking (how men my age look to me now). Yet, I envied their wives.

All the women had someone to go home with that night. Is this fair? There aren’t enough desirable men to go around, ladies. Please, don’t make me go Big Love. Share. What would that mean? I haven’t worked out the details. I do know you’d have the chance to be the only woman at a party who dances crazy, wild, and sexy—and that is fun.

 

Diana Amsterdam is a published and produced playwright, screenwriter, scribe and branding guru; and former ghost writer for the Emily Post Institute. She is the mother of two brilliant sons and five exceptional grandchildren.
Email this post Email this post
Bookmark and Share

2 Comments »

  • Diana Amsterdam says:

    Hey Arist-Oranit,

    That’s a cool name. Is the “or” in Oranit actually a question? In any case, I appreciate the advice. Trouble is: Are there really a lot of singles events for people our age? I am not putting this question to you: I am asking 100hookup: Yo, WHAT ABOUT US!?!?!??! I’ve asked this before, and 100hookup has answered: we don’t get any GUYS YOUR AGE. And this leads me back to my inevitable question: Where ARE YOU, guys our age!!??!?

    Diana (the blogger, and yes, that is I, my hair is blonde now.)

  • Artist-Oranit says:

    You know, I gotta tell you, it’s why when I got out, I go out alone and to an event I know in ADVANCE is not a couple’s event, whatever because that’s just an extra annoyance I don’t need. I’ve never had ANY issues standing alone at the bar, talking to the person I find is always, ALWAYS, the most important person in the room, which is the bar tender (regardless of if they are a man or a women). Of course, I might bring my hand held Nintendo 3DS if I feel like it – and it’s a better accessory then a married couple’s third wheel. The hell with it. And in a single’s event, you won’t be the only one standing alone. There will be at least one or two ladies that came solo. It’s totally better =).

Leave a comment!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.


+ 3 = 7

Jmag Search
Search now! »
Please enter a zip code.

polls

  • How far would you drive for a first date?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

cincinnati hookup

This demands a small pre planning mainly because it is not what you consider at initially glance. Sit down in the hotel lobby (wherever it is being hosted at) just just before the occasion ends. You can usually go with the intent of simply interacting with pets who desperately will need a human buddy for a day. Most, if not all of these areas will gladly welcome you with open arms. There s a meetup group for just about something these days. From tech to dog walkers, hikers, knitting and much more. okc rub Whilst you re texting your pal about how tough it is to find a woman, the girl of your dreams is actually right in front of you. Only you re also busy to notice her because your eyes are glued to the screen. In reality, this scenario possibly plays out hundreds of instances per day amongst each guys and girls. Of course, there s a single far more point to retain in thoughts. Members can only make premium membership payments only for themselves. If you think that you are supposed to get a refund on Spdate, send a mail to their assistance at Attach evidence and data on your claims to the email. If you disable the Show Me function on Spdate, your profile will not pop up on other members timelines when they are browsing Spdate. Similarly, other members will be unable to get in touch with you or like your profile. To register on Spdate, you don t need to have to register with your Facebook account. best places to hook up in salt lake city A petite Texan with a firecracker character, Paige is searching to thrive with an individual who will celebrate her independence. Full of energy and wit, she is everyone s greatest pal who hopes to develop into a unique someone s Mrs. Suitable. A physically fit Army brat, James is as sweet as they come. This former football player effectively parlayed his years of instruction into a profitable online fitness organization. James wears his heart on his sleeve and does not hold back if he is feeling a connection.